Once

Ezekiel 36:26, I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh.

On a sunny morning as I watched the dew of the flowers, and where the smell of wet grass entered my nose after the shower of rain that passed by, I sat still as my thoughts ran around the garden. Lots of people that entered and left my life always wondered why I was so heartless, like a creature whose heart has been torn out — a robot. But if I had given them I glimpse of the shadows dancing on my insides, and the scars which lay perfectly beneath my face, and the sounds of utter horrors I’ve heard in my life. Then they’d scream and wonder why they ever bothered in the first place. They all left too soon for me to tell the tale — that once there was a heart beating, that once I had feelings.

I’ve thrown my heart to the deepest ocean — where it lies forgotten;

drowned by pain and time.

I’ve got my shovel and dug it under the highest mountains and

covered it in the soil of heartbreak and countless regrets.

It’s hidden in a treasure chest that’s lost,

It shattered with the voices and screams of a loved one,

It’s locked and had been beaten

in the darkest of dungeons;

It’s been in a wrestling match with rage.

It’s been butchered by this world so

I hung it on my shoulders

and told it

to never return.

Soon the flowers started whispering, the trees awoke from their

slumber, sitting by the grass I felt the wind embrace me while the

dried leaves tumbled closer to hear me finish the tale.

Through this utter mess

I was so restless

So I lifted my heart towards the sky and given it to Christ:

To Him who knows and

to Him who holds

all its waywardness,

all its bitterness,

all its brokenness, and

all its wickedness.

- Toby