Mis-takes as Opportunities for Re-takes
There is a story of a Yo-Yo Ma concert where the performer was playing a 2.5 million dollar cello and during a particularly difficult song, the instrument slipped several times. The third slip resulted in the 1773 Stradivarius nearly crashing to the floor. As Ma reached out and grabbed the cello, he reacted with humor and grace, shaking his finger as if reprimanding the cello for misbehavior. The audience broke into laughter. The artist then composed himself and continued the concert.
This artful handling of a mistake, turning an error into a moment of human connection with the community, gave the audience something more than perfection in musical talent. The making of mistakes should be so embraced in society. Too often we make mistakes and missteps to which we react out of fear of what others will think of what we have done (or not done) rather than as opportunities to learn, revise, and retry. And too often we look at the mistakes of others without offering them the same forgiveness and acceptance that we so desire.
My younger children are in a school where they are being taught that our mistakes help show us where we need to grow. This message comes through loud and clear when they don’t get a perfect score on a spelling test, or if they struggle with an assignment. This “growth mindset” opens us to accept mistakes in ourselves and others as a natural part of life. I have always had a perfectionist tendency, and I am working to get to a place where I can accept “good enough” where needed, to be creative and allow myself to make mistakes, and to appreciate that when I don’t get it right, it is an opportunity to connect with others and to see where I need to change or grow.
One of the most difficult lessons I learned in my professional life was when I inadvertently discovered that I was referred to as a “burr under the saddle” to a group with which I had regular interactions. I had very high expectations, saw issues and solutions as cut and dry, and continually pushed for what I thought was in the best interest of the entire organization. Unfortunately, this group did not see my efforts in the same light. Through this experience, I realized that the way in which I was approaching the group was less than diplomatic, and in fact was doing more harm than good. This painful realization caused me to take a second look at myself and to seek ways that I could frame what I thought was best in terms of what others would also think was best. I can’t say that I am always successful now in this effort, but I know I have improved. And I know I have more empathy and grace in interactions with others who might be perceived as pushing too hard for what they want.
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