Hope Left Me Hanging Cliff-Side..
Hope left me hanging cliff-side, clinging for my life too afraid to look down at the inevitable reality of the impending fall. I kept looking toward the promise of a better tomorrow reflected in the blue sky as I wore my fingers through, my palms bloody as the pain engulfed my entire body. I ignored the pain as I gripped on tighter than ever before with the belief that you would reach your hand down, blue eyes meeting green, and that you would finally pull me to safety.
I hung there and I called out for you, but you never came. I would reach out toward you and as you stood over me as I clung for my life, you would look down at me with disconnection glowing in your eyes as you put me through a trial of wits which I could never seem to win. I would fight the weakening grip of my hands as well as the strengthening grip of you, but I couldn’t escape the side of the cliff I had fallen prisoner to. As my cut-up hands would grow more tired and the strength would start to diminish from my body, hope would flicker like a candle in the chilling wind with the threat of extinguishing; but I stayed because hope wanted me to.
I would often catch glimpses of you; the true you and as hope radiated, I would pray that it was the end of all the pain, but it never was. I would grab the moments of joy — the true laughter, the true play, the true love, and I would gather them and nurture them as I used those moments to feed the hope dying within me. This was the truth that I desperately clung to — it was partial, it was warped but I wanted it to be the truth, and with that, hope burned brighter.
So I stayed and kept hanging cliff-side.
I would look up, my eyes searching for you on the horizon but you never came. The sun washed over my skin, but I only grew colder. The trees swayed in the wind and the birds chirped, but I only grew angrier. The blood ran down my arms as my grip began to weaken, and I only grew sadder.
I eventually looked down at what would be my demise if I let go of the cliffside of hope, but all I could see was thick mist. The fear and anxiety rose within me as I cowered at the idea of falling with no clear end in sight. So I kept clinging — the blood running, the pain seething, the hope fading. “Please!” I shouted out, desperately trying to convince you, but you could never be convinced. I cried, I screamed, I begged, I pleaded — there was no one to hear me out. Hope was almost gone as I felt my grip weaken on the side of the cliff.
But eventually, you came around, and you bent down with your eyes meeting mine. I felt the warmth rise up in my body and I felt my hands tingle with longing for your warm embrace. But your eyes were dark as they met mine, and with that revelation, I felt my heart sink. I looked down once more to see only thick mist, and as I slowly turned my head back toward you, I was met with the darkness of the sky above. The cold air swept over me as the tears started to cascade down my cheeks while the flowers that scattered the ground around us started to die. I looked into your beautiful face scarred with anguish as you reached down toward me, and instead of pulling me to safety, you pushed me to my demise.
I cried out in desperation as I spiraled through the air, falling deeper into the mist of uncertainty. I could still see you standing on the edge of the cliff where I had hung for what felt like an eternity, a dark silhouette watching me fall. The tears streaked my cheeks and my bloody hands clung to my body as I tremored with sadness, fear, and disappointment. With my eyes glued to the cliff where you stood, your silhouette started to fade and I shuddered at the realization that I had lost you forever.
I closed my eyes as I embraced the fall to my death when suddenly, the speed eased as falling turned to floating. I landed and too afraid to open my eyes, I reached out with my bloody, torn up hands to the ground that surrounded me, only to feel the thick brush of soft grass. My eyes softly flickered open, and as I shaded my eyes from the magnificently bright sky, I turned my gaze to the promise of the rainbow solidly projected before me. I looked around to see the flowers dancing in the soft breeze; I could hear the birds chirping in the towering trees as the sun beamed down, once more warming my body. I looked down at my bloody hands but they were clean, the cuts healed leaving scars from the journey that would forever remain. The promise of the rainbow sparkled all around me and my eyes couldn’t be torn away, the wind blew my hair as it whispered a new promise, and I felt a rise of renewed hope consume my spirit. Looking around, I realized that I was back in Eden; although scarred, tired, and forever changed, I felt the promise of tomorrow as the strength returned to my body, greater than it ever was before.
Hope had kept me strong but it also had kept me weak. Hope had kept me clinging for my life and it had kept me clinging to a promise that would forever remain unfulfilled. Hope had me doubting myself and it would have kept me clinging to that side of the cliff in desperation for your approval that I would never win. I would have never let go, but you pushed me and I fell, but I what I found when I landed is that I didn’t have to break because the rainbow flickered and danced in the sky in true majesty, and it was the promise that I needed in order to know that I will survive and that tomorrow will be a better day.
