I first saw José at the 2014 TEDxUC Irvine conference, The Adventure of Discovery. As the executive director and license holder, he confidently took the stage to welcome the audience. He was calm, charismatic, and articulate in everything he said. I remember thinking, “Wow. I wish I could talk like that on a stage like this.” The event was filled with eye-opening speakers and information. I was impressed by how smoothly it ran.

Fast forward several months later, I messaged José online to ask him if he’d make time for coffee. He was not only kind enough to make time, but he also turned out to be an amazing person to share a conversation with.

José is an up-and-coming civic engineer and founder of TEDxUCI. During his time on campus, he was involved in Sigma Alpha Epsilon, Campus Reps, Resident Advising, and many more organizations. He’s backpacked through 22 countries in Europe and even rode the seas through the Semester at Sea program. He believes in turning ideas into reality and that attitude is everything. We talked about the issues surrounding today’s education system, the value of maturity, and the importance of managing our fears.

So, what are you up to?

I recently got back from a trip to Mexico. After getting back, I’ve been really busy because of my packed weekends.

Right now, I’m doing the speaker coaching for TEDxUCIrvine. So I’ve been meeting up with potential speakers, cool professors, and students for the past two weeks. I’m also teaching a class for the TEDx team! I’ve been hooked on supplementary education these days and the class is about how to manage your day-to-day.

What you mean by supplementary education?

Well, I believe that there are things we’re not learning in school that we should be learning. You know how you take vitamins to supplement your nutrition? In the same way, I think there are certain things that you should have to compliment your education. Things like managing your day-to-day are things that you’re not going to be taught at school, but there’s definitely ways to learn it. You just need to realize that what you’re learning in the classroom is not going to be enough.

I agree. School doesn’t always help us with the practical elements of life.

Exactly. You need to engage in another type of learning environment by going through exercises or learning from someone. But it’s hard to accomplish these things with no structure.

Looking back, I used to try so hard to be spontaneous. When time started to pass, I began to realize that I needed to really have some kind of schedule. Even in the processes of things… For instance, I’ve noticed that I take 3–4 hours to prepare the material and main points for my TEDx class. Then, I take another hour to prepare a powerpoint. Realizing the importance of structure has gotten me interested in the science behind teaching. In some ways, I feel like teaching is like sales but a different form of it.

“You just need to realize that what you’re learning in the classroom is not going to be enough.”

Tell us about how you got started teaching the TEDx class and what you’re actually teaching in the class itself.

It all started when I picked up this book called “How to manage your day-to-day.” It’s written by 16 different authors like Cal Newport, Leo Babauta, and Steven Pressfield. I read the book, highlighted points, and then forgot about it for a while. Much later on, I revisited the book and started skimming through it. As I skimmed, I thought, “Woah, I’m actually starting to do a lot of these things.” I decided to use the book as the foundation for the class.

In the class, I’m teaching the material in four parts. Each part has two lectures. The first part is about the importance of building your routine. Routine is so important. The reason that routine is important is that you need it to meet certain demands the world has of you. And in order to meet those demands, you need to learn how to manage your job as well as your own ambitions. Another reason is that all the problems and solutions of what you want to achieve in life actually come down to what you’re doing on a day-to-day basis. In the grand scheme of things, that’s what determines whether you fail or succeed. By starting to build your routine, you start building confidence and you learn how to tackle the bigger challenges. It allows you to expand your goals gradually.

What are the elements that go into building a solid routine?

Yesterday, I talked about how there’s three components when you’re building your routine: structure, rhythm, and purpose. You need structure and rhythm that is guided by purpose. If you don’t really know your purpose, then those two won’t really matter. Your structure is formed on what the world demands like the 24 hours in each day. But even with 24 hours, you need to realize that every kind of human has a different rhythm. It’s important to understand your own rhythm and your own kind of structure. You need to go back and forth between them.

If you want to be soccer player or you want to be a writer, you’re going to have much different demands. The way you structure your life will be different.

That’s what I’ve been teaching these days. The next things I’ll be teaching will be how to deal with a distracting world. I’ll continue to use what the book says, but I’ll also use my own examples and pair them with some useful examples from the book.

How do you want the team to respond and apply the principles?

For the most part, it’s just to get people thinking. I wanted the team to think about all of the material and take what’s valuable to them. Ultimately, they’ll act on what makes sense to them.

Going back to what you said earlier, it takes a lot of work to cultivate your own purpose. It’s hard for many college students to figure out what they really want. What are your thoughts?

One of my mentors is James McGaugh. He’s a professor at UCI and founded the Center for the Neurobiology of Learning and Memory. There was this one time where he said to me, “Look José… You’ve got to find what you want to do in life. And… you also have to realize that you have a time frame. From now on, you pretty much have until you’re 35. After you’re 35, your opportunities will start coming less often. When you get married, certain options will be gone too. Other ones open, but they’re different because you start needing to think for two people. You’ve really got to think about your windows of time. Right now, you’re the youngest you’ll be at this very second. You’re already older than you were a second ago.”

He encouraged me to think about what I really like. And in thinking about that, you need to understand that you don’t “find” purpose. When I went to Semester at Sea, I didn’t come back drastically changed. It wasn’t like I found my true meaning. It made me realize that there’s not a purpose just lying around for me to find. It’s clearly my choice. You have to make a decision and choose to like things. Choose to like it and try it out. You start moving from there. Of course, it’s not how I want it to be. I want it to be magical.. but very few things are truly magical.

If you go to Disneyland, the amount of care they take to make everything seem magical is insane. As a civil engineer, that’s one of the biggest things I’ve learned…

You see how everything is built and planned out?

Yea! The amount of planning that goes into something like Disneyland is crazy. Things come down to a tenth of an inch. We’re talking small measurements. Seeing and realizing the process behind things like that has helped me understand life a little better. I’ve come appreciate the process of creating that magic.

During Semester at Sea, I remember having a conversation with my friend from Colorado. We were in my room and I asked her how her experience was going. She said, “You know what, I thought that being on this trip would answer a lot of questions that I had about myself… but it actually gave me more questions.” When she said that, I clapped. I said, “You hit it right on the nail. It’s so true!”

You have to just not be afraid that more questions come out because they’re getting you closer to the answers. Sometimes it’s hard to tell in that point in time. But once you’re 10 years down the line, you’ll see how the dots connect. This is something that Steve Jobs famously said too. I think that’s really the reality of how things are.

“It made me realize that there’s not a purpose just lying around for me to find. It’s clearly my choice. You have to make a decision and choose to like things. Choose to like it and try it out. You start moving from there.”

How do you deal with this reality of uncertainty as a leader?

When you’re a leader or in charge of an organization, you realize that people start looking up to you and that there are certain things that you can do to create a certain environment. You have to create it consciously. You have to be able to ask yourself a lot of questions. When you ask yourself, you have to be able to be serious and answer them as sincerely as you can. I need to face myself. It all starts with asking yourself questions. Being able to do that is not as easy as it sounds. It’s a tough process!

Even though you’re not where you wanted to be, you should keep moving forward. Once you see that you have a choice to go for it, there’s so much to do.

For me, happiness is all about meaningful work and meaningful relationships. One rule I always try to abide by is to never let go of a good conversation. Those good conversations don’t come around that often. It takes commitment to make time for them.

What have you recently learned from a good conversation?

The biggest revelation I’ve had is realizing my biggest fear. For the longest time, I thought my biggest fear was not leaving my mark on the world. But I’ve realized that my biggest fear is being golden only on a surface level. I don’t want to become a person that only shows off the good. I want my life to have substance. I want to deeply experience things. It’s easy these days to be gilded online through social media. You can just post the good and be a poser.

It’s harder than it sounds: living up to what you’re trying to be.

What are some ways that you try to live up to your best self?

I think one way I do it is by managing my fears. When I start to break down why I didn’t want to do something, it’s because I was afraid. I ask myself questions: “Is that really what’s going to limit me? What I’m afraid of?” I manage my fears by being more afraid of not doing the things I want to do. I’m more afraid of not telling my kids that I bungee jumped in South Africa. It’s reverse psychology on yourself. It’s something that I’ve been trying because once you’re able to get over those things, you’re incrementally getting better.

Another thing that’s important to me is maturity. I think that’s one of the biggest things we should strive toward. I remember reading a Times article on Nelson Mandela. According to Mandela, one of the most important things that happened to him in jail was that he became a mature person. Before being arrested, he realized that he was a much more volatile and impulsive person. After coming out of jail, he knew that that wasn’t going to work. It’s really through communication, speaking with people. Maturity gives you a better clear head and you don’t allow yourself to be ruled just by your emotions.

Yeah, you’re right. It’s not something that’s talked about as much as confidence.

It’s just about having the knowledge of self. There’s a lot you can achieve by being mature. It’s just something that I think is worth striving towards.

I want to be a man of my word. Someone who can put my money where my mouth is… That’s something that I’ve been trying to practice as much as I can. I’m actually saying it either because I’m doing it, because I’m about to do it, or because I’ve done it… not because I think I will do it at some vague point in the future.