by Hilarie Cash
Most of us wouldn’t binge on alcohol all day long, every day but many people don’t think twice about binging on Internet or video games. And the impact can also be devastating.
That’s where we come in. I’m co-founder of reSTART Life, LLC, the first retreat program in the Americas designed exclusively to help adults with problematic Internet and video game use.
We opened our doors in Washington State in 2009 and we primarily treat men, usually between 18 and 28 years old, who have experienced some serious problems as a result of their Internet use (failing out of college, loss of jobs, loss of relationships, etc.).
A 21-year-old man came to us after he had failed his final exams in college last spring. He was a gamer and avid general Internet user who had sought refuge in online distraction, to the point of addiction, in order to escape the painful social anxiety he felt.
In many ways he was simply a product of our times. His father worked in IT and had introduced his son to digital media at a young age, not understanding the dangers of doing so without any balance or limits on use.
The boy learned early on that the distraction of the Internet and video games kept his anxiety, depression and loneliness at bay. The problem did not grow into an actual addiction until the young man went away to college was in a new, stressful landscape. Like many of our clients, this was the point at which an incipient problem bloomed into an actual addiction and his use spiraled out of control. Fortunately, the family found a therapist who recognized Internet addiction and recommended our center.
Patients spend 45 to 90 days at our retreat center during which time they can detox (a neurobiological process) and figure out what they will need in order to be successful adults going forward. We also offer a transitional program where we offer guidance and support to them as they move into the world, pursuing their goals and developing a healthy life-style.
I’ve been pursuing my specialization in Internet Addiction Disorder for 20 years, observing over the span of those two decades the changes in individuals, families and the broader society as digital media has become more accepted, easy to use 24/7, available to almost everyone, and immersive. And, above all, I’ve watched as parents, themselves tech users, are more and more promoting digital media use in their young children.
The National Day of Unplugging is a reminder to us all that there is great value in spending a day or more away from digital media, to help us connect to what is around us in the natural world and the social world of people who care about us. It might also clarify for us if we have grown too dependent on digital technology. The sobering recognition of such dependency will, hopefully, serve as a spur to corrective action, helping us find a balanced relationship with the technology on which we all depend to some extent.
This reminder is important because overuse of digital media can have damaging effects on us all, but, especially on children, whose brains and bodies are vulnerable to the influence these devices can have. Children need time with loving, attentive caregivers in order to form strong attachment bonds; any screen is a cold caregiver. And, when caregivers prefer their screen time over time with the children in their care, problems are bound to ensue. When attachment between a child and a parent is poor, all sorts of mental health problems can develop, along with more general problems of depression, anxiety, emotional dysregulation, poor social skills, and the list goes on.
There are a growing number of resources available as the problem of tech addiction becomes more widely accepted and better understood. I’ve co-authored a book on child development and the proper place of digital technology in children’s lives with Kim McDaniel: Video Games and Your Kids: How Parents Stay in Control. A website rich in information about child development is www.zonein.ca.
For more resources and information about our addiction center to to: www.netaddictionrecovery.com.
Dr. Hilarie Cash is Co-founder of Internet/Computer Addiction Services and the reSTART Internet Addiction Treatment Program and a clinician, speaker, teacher, and author.
The National Day of Unplugging is one day a year that encourages people to be mindful of the impact of their use of digital devices throughout the year. Find out more at http://www.nationaldayofunplugging.com/
