Second Lent
Today marks the beginning of the Nativity Lent for Orthodox Christians using the new(er) calendar.
I approach every fasting period with some amount of trepidation and fear, knowing that somewhere along the line I’ll fall flat on my face. Forgetfulness and willfulness and a general lack of discipline are major issues in my life.
Complicating this, as a convert from Protestantism, I find myself wondering what’s the point of it all. I believe God directed me down this path, but I really, really like complaining and doing things my own way.
I try to coach myself into believing that it’s all part of the training, that it in no way is me trying to earn my salvation. How could anyone turn God’s eye anyway? He already owns the cattle on a thousand hills, is all-sufficient in trinity, and … heck, I don’t remember reading about this in the Bible.
I mean, we read about fasting and praying. We read about how the disciples prayed and fasted before they selected a new member to replace the recently deceased Judas. Jesus fasted for forty days in the desert before being confronted by Satan. He even chastened the disciples who had been trying to cast out a demon, letting them know that this sort of demon could only be cast out by much prayer and fasting.
Some Protestants do fast. Some do so in the strictest sense, eating no food whatsoever. That’s not the Orthodox way. Fasting for the Orthodox is, in part, denying yourself, taking up your cross and following. No point in adding lead weights to your cross, even if you’re bound to get a few splinters along the way.
Sometimes I think converting to Catholicism would have been a cleaner break for me, but it just doesn’t ring true. When I read Chrysostom, I think, this guy was inspired by the same Holy Spirit that made the early church so egalitarian. When I read Aquinas, I think, hmm, interesting, but I don’t think I’ll do much about it today.
When I listen to Hillsong I think, ‘well, isn’t that pretty. Like a light fluffy cloud.’ Sure, God made clouds too, but you can’t eat them.
