SJW Snake Oil & Temporary Absolution for Whiteness

Keri Smith
May 28 · 3 min read

Good Morning White Women!

Are you ready to “sit in your discomfort” and address your “complicity in white supremacy” while enjoying a delicious meal with contemptuous racists? Well wait no further! At Race2Dinner, you can temporarily absolve your overwhelming white guilt in the cleansing fire of contempt.

Give these SJW saints your money and they’ll come to your home and serve up a steaming helping of racist shaming with a side dish of bullying and moral superiority, and behold! You will be temporarily cleansed of your “white fragility” and “toxic whiteness.” Remember, you must invite them in because they’re spiritual vampires who feed on the heady mix of weak character, good intent and societal pressure.

How does it work? According to their site, you will pay them for the privilege of their scornful presence and then pass the bread and “bear witness to our pain,” but they “don’t care about your feelings” because “your feelings pale in comparison to the violence you have caused” because “white silence is violence.”

Are you hungry yet? Hungry for racial justice! Well then check out this menu:

An appetizer of Blackberry Paincakes with a Reduction of Coddled White Tears, served before a main course of Racist Jerk Chicken and Black Eyed Appeasement.

If dinner isn’t sufficiently long enough to exorcise you of your white demons (and it won’t be, because as SJW High Priestess Ashleigh Shackelford notes in her own paid seminar, all white people are inhuman, are raised to be demons, and will always be racist) you can also pay the low low price of $2,000 to attend an Allies in Action Anti-Racism Bootcamp and be indoctrinated by Black Women AND by Non-Men for four whole days! But act fast! There are limited seats remaining, white people, so get that cool $1,000 deposit over via PayPal today to reserve your turn in the hotseat.

Still hungry for self-flagellation for sins you didn’t commit? Well then, let Unsafe Space help! We offer to *repeatedly* cleanse you of your original sin of white privilege for a small, monthly donation via the Unsafe Space SubscribeStar. (If you’re a white man, we understandably require a larger donation, given the emotional labor required to cleanse you of two iniquities). It’s the hard work of allies, but somebody’s gotta do it!

After a period of hectoring you about your complicity in white supremacy, we’ll require you to walk naked through the digital public square, confessing your toxic whiteness, while other SJWs pelt you with slurs and choruses of “Shame! Shame! Shame!” If you survive, you’ll unlock mob-achievment level and receive your very own pitchfork, meant for shaming those poor unwoke sinners yet to follow in your footsteps. But hold that pitchfork tight! Remember that whiteness is a system of oppression and that you’re forever locked in a prison of your own involuntary and unconscious racism, you demon bigot.

Unsafe Space

Keri Smith

Written by

@ksemamajama Founder of Co-Host of “Deprogrammed” at More about me:

Unsafe Space