Trump Rally: I went there and here’s what happened

(AP/Unshaken Filter)


I take few steps back, giving my buddy two elbow nudges as of in, “Something is gonna go down”.

— —

Few minutes ago:

I walked into the small airport hangar, right off the huge airport strip, big enough to bring down a Trump jet. The crowd is filling in, nearly to the full capacity of the building.

Where am I? Well, I’m here for Donald Trump rally. As a writer, it’s my job to go to where the action is, and hey, why would you pass up for a chance to see a famous billionaire upfront?

Let’s take you along for the ride — this is in present tense, as if it’s happening right now.

I. Pulling my connections, we are escorted into the VIP area, right in front of the podium. Non-VIP people are separated by fences behind us. Today, I think like a Republican — “Fuck them, only if they worked harder, they could have been VIP.”

My buddies and I get giddy about how close we are to the podium. We would be able to see the hair strand of Trump’s mop, guess the shade of orange of his spray tan and mentally measure his hands.

But before Trump strolls into the stage, we already have a drama brewing.

We are standing in the second row from the fence that divide the podium area and spectators. Right next to us is a mid-40 guy who has an ALS (Joe), the same one that Stephen Hawking has.

And he is getting AGITATED…

Which is really fascinating to watch. Have you seen a pissed off ALS dude before? That’s my point.

So Joe has a helper on his side, and he communicates by moving his eyes to the computer monitor with a keyboard on screen. If he keeps his eyes on one letter for a split second long, it will “type” the word.

Joe is moving his eyeballs on a lightning speed, clicking letters to form a sentence as quickly as he can. Google Stephen Harding if you don’t know what I mean.

Why is he angry? Guy is trying to get in the first row because he couldn’t see over people while sitting down on a mechanical scooter. In front of him is a couple, who look like your typical wealthy Republicans — tall, handsome with chiseled features, and in designer clothes.

The Helper asks them nicely if they could move, so Joe could see the podium. The couple shoots him a disgusted look and shakes their heads — “No.”


While waiting for Trump to arrive, this is like a godsend in terms of time-killing. What a way to kill time with a mini Jersey Shore drama. I stand behind Joe and quietly root for him to stir the pot up.

After asking nicely didn’t work out, he restores to brute force by pushing his joystick up, and the chair hits the couple’s legs from the behind, trying to squeeze through. Nope, still not budgeting. The couple doesn’t even look back and pretend that Joe doesn’t exist.

Then Joe revs back few feet away, and I think he is defeated.

Oh, nope… He quickly type the monitor with his eyes, using Caps key —


I take few steps back, giving my buddy two elbow nudges as of in, “Something is gonna go down”.

Joe pushed his joystick up again, and the chair sped straight to the man’s legs, buckling his knees, like a football player absorbing a low hit and buckling his knees, and you are thinking, “Uh-oh, that’s gotta be ACL.”

Remember, this scooter has like 10 horsepowers. That’s a power of 10 horses.

Amazingly, the man slowly straightens up his legs without looking back, and whispers a snide comment to his wife.

Ladies and gentlemen, TRUMP RALLY! Where wealthy people tell severely disabled people to fuck off.

However, this guy doesn’t give up. Throughout the rally, he keeps on hitting the couple, back and forth. Since he can’t even see anything over people, so he may as well entertain himself.

II. After a couple of unknown Trump surrogates went on the stage to do dumb speeches, drawing polite applauses.

I deliberate with my buddy if we should start a “WE WANT TRUMP! WE WANT TRUMP!” chant. Nah, decided against it.

Two idiots leave the stage, and more serious-faced security men come in, shielding the podium. The moment is coming. Everyone pulls out their cellphones. People start to get rowdy to establish a permanent viewing position.

At the corner near us, people begin to scramble toward the entrance, with smartphones up in the air….

Is Trump here???

Oh, false alarm. That’s just his assistant getting his 5-second fame.

10 minutes later…

Finally, Trump strolls into the hangar, and the crowd goes NUTS. People are chanting, “DONALD TRUMMMMP!”

I watch while being starstruck — say what you want about Trump, but it is not often that you get to see a famous billionaire few feet away from you.

After giving few polite handshakes to spectacles in the first row, Donald makes his way up to the podium. As he waves to the crowd with a million-dollar politician smile, there’s almost no single person who’s not taking pictures, filming or Snapchatting.

This is precisely the moment when I realized why politicians can’t get enough of this shit. If you couldn’t be an professional athlete playing in front of 60,000 people, why not be a politician? You get to attend a rally with 10,000 people chanting your name, plaster your name on their car bumpers and rave about you on Facebook.

You are going to get off from that stuff, man.

I just love how politicians look on their campaign posters. We all have a couple of favorite Facebook photos, where we look too good. You secretly hope that your crush sees that picture. Campaign posters are like that, but on steroids. Those people know how to make their politicians look a Charming Prince or Cinderella.

Think anyone could get me a campaign photographer? I’d love to look amazing on my social media pages.

In addition of perks of being a politician, you get the greatest (and dangerous) drug in the world — power. Where you could get every restaurant reservation in the city, get important people to take your calls, or a personal driver.

Pretty good gig, huh? Well, it’s about to get better…

III. In the first row, facing perfectly straight from the podium, we have a 20-something blonde bombshell, with huge breasts that you could see the curves through her Trump t-shirt. That kind of a hottie that you see in Sports Illustrated’s Swimsuit Issue and turn your heads and think, “Oh man, I would die a happy man if I ever bang that.” She’s also wearing a red Make America Great Again farmer hat — not a 10, but a 11.

As soon as Trump gets up on the podium, her eyes widened, with a smirk on her face. And the smirk stays there for the entire speech. She had, I think, her parents next to her, but she’s ignoring them completely.

Instead, She’s starting at Trump with dazed “Fuck Me” eyes. You just know that eyes when you see it.

When Trump says something, she laugh a little bit too hard. First person to cheer, last person to stop cheering.

Even if he says, “All blondes should be put in the hole and remain there for 15 years”, she would probably applaud him.

Well, I guess we found another perk of being a politician.


Oh no worries, that is just the persistent Joe giving the couple another bruising hit. Anyway —

V. With a booming voice, Trump makes his speech. Here’s three quick hard-hitting talking points:

  1. The media is against us, me and Bernie Sanders.
  2. Crooked Hilary needs to release her emails.
  3. Lying Ted’s dad might be associated with Lee Harvey Oswald, who shot Abraham Lincoln.

Between punch lines, people cheered and shouted “Put her in jail! Put her in jail!”

In other words, the speech goes on the way you would expect it to be.

VI. After finishing his speech, Trump comes down to make his lap around, shaking hands and signing stuff, with first row VIP people. Yup, he stopped by to whisper something into “Fuck Me” girl’s ears. It puts the biggest smile on her face as she holds the signed Make America Great Again hat close to her heart. No kidding.

Then after taking few steps away, Trump turns around and says something to her again. She nods in approval.

As Trump comes closer to my area, I tell my friend to take pictures for me. I want to watch and soak in the moment — What is it like to see a billionaire upfront.

I forget to bring anything for him to sign, so I settle for sticking my hand out through the crowd to hopefully get a handshake. Don’t judge, small victories in life are what keep you going.

Unfortunately, Trump doesn’t take my bait, but I get to see him few feet away. As much as I hate to say, he looks quite handsome for a 70-year-old. On TV, he looks like a cartoon, but in person, he looks a whole lot better.

I mean, have you seen a 70-year-old man? Many of them look…… old. Very old. This Trump guy ages gracefully.

Just before the event ends, I stop to look around me, and am bewildered by how many people are there. Everything on my social media feed is all about Bernie (that was during the primary) and negative Trump messages. Taking from that, I assumed that nobody likes Trump.

And here we are — over 10,000 people overcrowded the airport hangar in support for him, which leads to the final tangent —

VII. Few months ago, I was the designated driver for my buddies’ wine tour, located in nowhere in Upstate New York — 100% country scene. As I drove through a small village, I was bewildered to see Trump-Pence signs on lawns everywhere, because if you put up a Trump sign in my home area, you were going to get toasted.

This reminded me that America is a very big country. College educated people are friends with each other. We share similar views, post similar things on Facebook. During the primary, my Facebook feed was plastered with Bernie Sanders postings.

Basing on my social media only, nobody would show up to Trump’s rally, but the opposite was true.

Then during the Presidential election, I saw only two people on Facebook that routinely post up about Trump, and get killed for it.

But yet, Trump won the election. This reminds us that we are very fortunate to have our lifestyle. Why? Not many Americans live like us, period. Trump got the votes from middle of America that we almost never go to, or the media doesn’t cover on — Montana, Kansas, or Nebraska. Those people live in towns of 1,500 people, trailer homes, etc.

If you’ve seen Shamless, at one point you probably think to yourself, “Wow, they live like that?” Yes, that shit happens all the time in another part of America that you don’t see.

Not saying that they are less better off than us, but…

The Trump rally is just a great reminder that the world is a whole bigger than us, and what we see on our Facebook feed does not reflect everyone else’s feelings and opinions.

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