A Day Of Fiction

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I’m turning 38 tomorrow. Hey, now wait a minute, that’s not right! 38? How the hell did that happen? ( Yes, I know how it happened. Earth traveled around the sun blah blah bullshit.) I never had much issues getting older — I enjoyed getting older, mostly. It felt right, you know? Last year, turning 37 was great, 37 was me. But now, suddenly, without rational reason, 38 feels it got here way too fast. I wasn’t even aware till I sat down and wrote this out. Is that how this works? One year you just realize your age and go “No, no, that’s not me. I can’t be this age. I’m not ready to be this age.”

I never thought I’d react like this to my age. Ha. It’s weird. I imagine a lot of ladies smiling to themselves right about now. I know. I’m sorry. I really didn’t get it before. Silly naive me, huh? But I felt like, 37 was just me getting older. 38 is like I need to be mature. Like I need to be upholding some sort of code. I’m not a girl anymore. I’m a lady now. How am I expecting myself to be a lady? That’s insane. Do you know what sort of juvenile shit goes on in my mind? Not to mention circumstances in my life make me feel much the same as a teenager half the day.

It’s okay. I need a day or so for me to realize I’m just the same me I was yesterday. I need a day to escape the weirdness of turning 38. That’s my birthday gift to myself. A day of escapism. A day of fiction. I’ll be reading, writing and watching fiction.

Having your birthday on a Friday, is about the best thing ever. I took a day off from work, so I have a long weekend. My dear knobbiers will come to my rescue with story submissions that never fail to surprise me. I’ve got my own novel to rewrite, and a bookcase of other’s novels to revisit. I’ve downloaded seasons of a decade old television show which I enjoyed a lot but haven’t watched in ages: Eureka, Warehouse 13, and Unnatural History. I’ll take the kids to the Lego Batman movie. And if all that fails, there’s the big guns: the Lord of the Rings trilogy.

And if my mind starts with the “supposed to act like a lady” nonsense, I’ll stick my fingers in my ears and sing “LA LA LA LA I CAN’T HEAR YOU!”

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