Not My Cup Of Tea

“You can’t post things like that online. British customs officials might see it”

A couple of weeks back, I was having a conversation with my daughter. I’m not even sure what it was about. I do know that at some point I suggested people should just sit down with some coffee and talk it out.

“Or tea,” my daughter chimed in.

Without really thinking about it, I replied “Yeah, but, who drinks tea?”

She just glanced at me with this amused look on her face. She didn’t need to say anything. That look was all the retort I needed.

“Oh. Shit. Right…I will have to get used to that.”

My love is British.


Growing up, the only people I knew who drank tea, were either too young to have crammed for exams yet, or had health issues. Either something chronic or something temporary like flue. Asking for tea was a sign something wasn’t 100%. Healthy adults drank coffee.

Oh sure, tea was always an option anywhere you went, but much like the wheelchair ramp, the option was there because not everyone was able to drink coffee. When you got guest, you offered coffee. You worried if they liked the type of vlaai you could offer, not if they might prefer tea. If someone refused coffee, it was because they would rather have a cold beverage. Nobody preferred tea. Except maybe that one strange aunt (come to think of it, that aunt had health issues as well. Why else would she go on about the healing power of magnetic bracelets?)

Sometimes you’re not even aware how strongly you’ve picked sides in the culture wars. Since gaining access to the internet in my mid-teens, interacting with people from all over the world, I’ve seen the Tea Vs Coffee debate in some form or other. And it was then I learned there’s people who actually drink tea because they don’t like coffee. Or even more strangely, don’t mind coffee but just like tea better. Needless to say, I have always been team coffee.

In fact, I have a smug coffee-superiority complex.

It’s damned hard to get rid of. I’ve resolved to grow past my coffee bias, but I still get caught belittling tea. There’s still this tiny little voice that insists tea drinkers are less than coffee drinkers. Just this morning I called tea “kind of lame” — and that got me the subtitle of this story in response.


Do you want to hear something funny? Most my heroes drink tea.

This little fact has done absolutely nothing to elevate tea in my mind. In fact it’s the other way around. These people are so badass, they can drink tea and I would never question their badassness over it.

Their tea drinking habits are actually contrasting and magnifying their natural levels of badass. For them drinking tea has become an act of zero-fucks-given. But you need to be legendary for that to work, the average Joe would never be able to pull that off…

Sigh. I know I have to change and embrace tea drinkers as my equals.

It shouldn’t matter.
It doesn’t matter.

Except for this. This is just wrong. Shame on you, Doctor, shame on you!

If you don’t get the joke, watch this video https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oQbei5JGiT8
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