Splatter Patterns

Observing the scene after shit hit the fan

I even got a soundtrack for this one

Yep, I’m aware I am stepping from my safe distance into fan range. But I have to write. I have to write, because I’ve been needing to consciously relax my jaw all morning. The last time I walked around with my jaws clenched like this, was in the year leading up to my divorce. I sometimes wish I were more poetic in my symbolism, alas my subconscious prefers to be blunt and overly obvious. When I’m not expressing things I feel I should be expressing, my jaws clench shut.

Money complicates everything

Brief synopses for anyone who has been blissfully unaware of shit obeying the laws of gravity in the vicinity of spinning blades; A writer created a go-fund-me and people are wondering if she did for the “right” reasons.

Anyone who is familiar with the current shit storm, might now be thinking “wait, she’s leaving out a bunch of relevant details!”

No, I’m not.

The harsh, unflattering truth as I see it, is that she went to go-fund-me. Which, according to social scripts these days, is the equivalent of declaring yourself a charity. Once you do that, people will start fussing about how worthy you are of their charity.

Want an other harsh truth? Had this writer said “Guys, I could really use a bit extra cash. Here’s my Patreon.” Most of the people in the middle of the shit would have donated to that Patreon. And we would not have been in this situation right now.

Do you know why? Because social scripts say that donating to a Patreon page is paying for a different kind of worth. Not how worthy you are, but how worthy your art is. In this case, words typed. Words we all were hanging on to. Words, regardless on how much they were based on true events, that had real value for real people for a whole list of reasons. Not in the least the inspiration and support they could provide to people going through things.

This is how differently we’re treating “Are you worthy of my money” vs “Is what you do worthy of my money”. Do is simple. The words are there. We read them, we enjoy them, based on that we decide whether or not we want to pay for them. Are is complicated. If we’re paying for are, suddenly we feel entitled to know everything about a person. See, just being a human isn’t enough. You should be worthy of a Life Time movie before your are worthy of our money. Actually, we’d prefer Disney/Pixar, but Life Time will do.

If you feel like I’m scolding you, good, but not you in particular. I’m scolding humanity. It’s always about what we get out of it. It’s always the ego. This shit? Hurt egos.

Don’t start with “but, lies”. No. We pay good money to get lied to. Personally, I look forward to get lied to for about 2 hours very soon. The lie in question is called “Star Wars, Rogue One”. Yeah it’s different. I know exactly what I am going to get out of it when I pay my money. And if the lie is particularly well crafted, I’m going to praise them for it and recommend to all my friends they go give their money to a two-hour lie as well.

And we know what we’re supposed to get out of charity as well. Warm fuzzy feelings. We get to congratulate ourselves on being so damned good. But, when it turns out the charity isn’t what we thought it was, that fuzzy feeling is gone. And then we get angry. Because damn it, what are we getting out of this now? Oh, now we feel embarrassed. Our intentions never changed. We’re still that same good person. Nope, the pay off is gone. That is what’s bothering us.


Look, I get it. I understand. And with this group, the feeling we’re being taken advantage of is particularly hurtful. Because real people took real advantage of a lot of us and that shit still hurts. This fresh shit is compiling on old shit. It’s just all around shitty. And now, it doesn’t even matter if the fresh shit is or isn’t legit. We feel shitty now and someone will be held responsible.

But guys, we didn’t deserve the shit we got, they didn’t deserve the shit they got, and none of this is going to get any better by throwing around more shit, okay? I got some wet wipes. Lets clean each other and ourselves up.