The Fault In Our Cans
A tragic tale of a beer that got emptied before its time
This is the story of one brave beer that was made with a factory defect. While it stood, round and proud, among the other beers in its six pack, it was hiding a weak spot in it’s aluminum.
As it struggled to hold itself together under the pressure, it feared for its shelf life. If only it could be bought quickly, and moved into a fridge. Maybe the cold would ease some of its suffering.
When the six pack got picked up, and moved into a shopping cart, there was a glimmer of hope for the beer. It held on, through the conveyor belt and the bumpy ride in the trunk of a car.
But alas, it was not meant to be. As the bag that cradled it got placed on the kitchen table, the refrigerator in sight, the beer bumped against the corner of a laptop left carelessly on the table some hours before.
Even though the corner was rounded, the jolt was too much for the poor beer’s weak can. A tiny crack appeared in it’s side. And while the can tried to contain its beer with all its might, it could not hide the hiss of escaping gases.
Worried hands quickly removed it from the bag, away from the laptop. The beer saw the fridge pass it by, as it got transfered to the kitchen sink, little drops of its precious innards falling to the floor.
There in the sink, the beer slowly flowed down the drain, never even having had the chance to get chilled.
Hours later the beer’s brethren were raised in its honor.