Led on a Bear Hunt
God’s beauty surrounded me on the rocky shore of frigid Cap Cod waters, though I didn’t know Him while growing up. The thundering surf, the dryness of salt on your skin and the taste on your tongue, the dampness in the air, and the rustling leaves from the seacoast breeze planted a joy in my heart that opened again in the dark. Now, as an adult I am 1,837 miles away from my childhood memories and the salty air in a dry climate that knows drought and dry heat not wet winters and changing tides. But the sounds of the wind in the trees remain the same as did the rising and the setting of the same sun.
My childhood playground changed from an unending green back yard surrounded by woods to a small half lot enclosed by wooden fences, concrete, and the sounds of traffic. We had two trees: an Oak in the front and a Silver Maple in the back, but the sounds of the rolling wind were the same.
In the season of insomnia, I tried to get outside as much as I could with my three boys to breathe life into my lungs. One day after returning from a difficult doctor appointment that led to a dead end in solving the mystery of my sleeplessness, I was frustrated, angry, and hopeless. Dishes needed to be cleaned. Dinner was only half finished but I needed to get out of the trap of my mind. I needed to laugh. I needed to get outside in God’s beauty and feel his wind against my face. I gathered my boys and we went outside on our half lot and went on a bear hunt.
A favorite book of ours, “We’re Going on a Bear Hunt” by Michael Rosen, flashed in my exhausted mind. The memory of the rhythmic words started to beat a rhythm to my broken heart. Reading it always led to laughter, but on this day I received more than just laughter. God gave me hope that He was still listening to my cries.
Each line of the story begs the reader to get out of their seat and act out the images, wooing the child in all of us to play.
“We’re goin’ on a bear hunt, we’re going to catch a big one. What a beautiful day! We’re not scared.
Oh no! Grass! Long wavy grass. We can’t go over it. We can’t go under it. We’ve got to go through it! Swishy swashy! Swishy swashy! Swishy swashy!”
We joyously took big steps through our two-inch tall grass pretending we were in a meadow with grass up to our hips as far as the eyes could see.
“We’re goin’ on a bear hunt, we’re going to catch a big one. What a beautiful day! We’re not scared.
Oh no! Mud! Thick oozy mud. We can’t go over it. We can’t go under it. We’ve got to go through it! Squelch squerch! Squelch squerch! Squelch squerch!”
We made loud squishing sounds with puffed out cheeks and slimy tongues as if our legs were stuck in quick sand. Giggles rose from our bellies until we met the forest.
“We’re goin’ on a bear hunt, we’re going to catch a big one. What a beautiful day! We’re not scared.
Oh no! A forest! A big dark forest. We can’t go over it. We can’t go under it. We’ve got to go through it! Stumble stumble trip! Stumble stumble trip! Stumble stumble trip!”
At this crossing, a silent smile appeared on my face. To hunt for bears, we had to go through grass, mud, a forest, a river, a snowstorm, and a cave before we got to our destination. To get to the other side of the valley of the shadow of death I had to walk through it making whatever sounds necessary Just as I had led my children to the backyard on an imaginary quest for bears, my Shepherd led me to the valley, yet it wasn’t make-believe.
Months before our bear hunt adventure I prayed through Psalm 23 and a few verses about Paul’s shipwreck disasters in Acts 27:43–28:1, Apostle Paul survived three boat disasters while suffering beatings and stonings. Each trial brought him safely to land as God led him through disasters. “But the centurion wishing to save Paul, kept them from carrying out their plan. He ordered those who could swim to jump overboard first and make for land, and the rest on planks or on pieces of the ship. And so it was that all were brought safely through…”
After fours seasons it was clear there was no circumnavigating insomnia. God ordained our family to walk through it. We were led here and a fun children’s book reminded me of that truth. The dark canopy of insomnia continued to give blooms in the darkness as God walked beside us in the valley. He was teaching me how to find life everywhere in everything through unchanging circumstances. But who else had God led to similar destinations? How did they go through it? This began a heart ramble in the Word studying the phrase “led” searching for encouragement to keep walking.
Daniel chapters 3 & 6 are stories most children raised in the church are familiar with. I read them for the first time in my 20’s and made up for lost time by studying the entire book over and over again. I was amazed by Daniel’s faith in the face of a lion, not knowing years later I would pretend to hide from imaginary bears in my backyard on a different journey of faith.
Daniel was a government official to the King. He was known in the city as a man of integrity respected, and depended on for counsel and wisdom. He didn’t hide his belief that his wisdom came from God, publicly praying three times a day. The leaders around him grew jealous of his stature before the King and created an ordinance against anyone who would pray to any god or man that wasn’t the King, knowing Daniel would not bow down to anyone but the One True God. The consequence was the lions den—an immediate dismemberment by the kings of the jungle. Just like every other day, Daniel went to his house with his windows open on his knees in prayer.
The scripture tells us little of what he prayed on this law-breaking day, other than thankfulness. Did he cry thankful tears thinking he would see God in glory that day? Did he have peace beyond understanding? Was he afraid? He knew where God was leading him, did he ask Him to make another path like I had pleaded with God over and over again? Was Daniel just as vulnerable to doubt as I was in his obedience? He knew the risks and he did it anyway. I know the risks and I barely have the strength to keep walking facing cubs not lions.
I think we quickly read over his absolute choice to worship God. He stood face to face with a lion in a pen that had only one exit. It was meant to be a tomb just like where Jesus was laid, but it became a churchyard. Daniel walked in led by jealous rulers and then walked out the next day. Jesus was carried in dead but came out alive.
What was it like in a den sealed by a stone breathing in the foaming breath of a 420-pound hairy beast that stood 4 feet off the ground? I imagine they were in complete darkness smelling the sweat and fear of each other. As their eyes adjusted to the deep, did they stare nose to nose listening to their hearts beat, their lungs expand, their muscles strain with the weight of their bodies, and their stomachs rumble with hunger? Or instead of silence was there the sounds of pacing paws in the dirt while one sang and the other waited for the right moment to attack their prey?
In December 2015, our family experienced the destruction of a tornado to our town and neighborhood. All day the weather was warm and humid giving the sky a strange hue by evening. The sounds of the warning sirens went off and we hid in our laundry room, holding a 5-month-old, a two half-year-old, and a 5-year-old in our arms. It was dark as the power flipped off leaving silence in the wake of the roar of an F4 tornado. You could hear the roar grow and build as it ate trees, homes, playgrounds, and cars. The silence and the roar together left us helpless in the hands of God. There was no other choice but to worship in song to try and hold back the fear that began to consume our bodies while we waited for our release. I sang Holy Holy Holy is the Lord God Almighty, with my voice cracking at every high note. In the darkness I focused on His holiness, just as I had done night upon night. Then the roar ceased and the tornado turned away from land onto the Lake where it dissipated leaving our house untouched.
Maybe this is what Daniel did in the tomb awaiting his release. He knew God led him here. Either he would walk out alive or be carried to the arms of God through death. Either one was good, but both required faith until the chosen time was complete. At the dawn of the next day, Daniel was released, impacting the faith of an entire nation.
The word “led” is used 109 times in the Bible. Jesus was led into the wilderness in Matthew 4:1–11. Isreal was led into the wilderness to find freedom from the slavery of Egpyt. Shadrach, Meshach, and Abendigo were led into the fiery furnace heated 7 times more than normal because they wouldn’t worship a golden image. Abraham was led to the land of Moriah to offer his son as a burnt offering. David fled from King Saul multiple times led by God into the wilderness to safety. All of them were led by God and all of them had to walk through their challenges, but came out stronger and God more glorified than when they entered.
Friends have been led by God into the lonely agony of infertility to come out years later with a child not from their womb but from the fruit of their brokeness and surrender. I had been led before into different valleys and gullies of faith. I had to believe that at some point I would be led out of the shadows of insomnia. So I kept walking, stumbling and tripping on my hunt for freedom on our family’s bear hunt with God as our guide.