KNOW YOUR LIMIT

Photo credit: africacheck.org

The party started in full swing as everything was set; from foods to drinks and to a wonderful decoration that made grandpa’s house a sight to behold. Guests started arriving in trickles all dressed beautifully well to rock the party since the next day, a Monday was a public holiday and the DJ did not let them down. The planning and execution was 100% because everything was just on point and the party was in full swing in less than an hour from the time indicated on the invite, reason, no one wanted to be left out as they could testify to my party hosting prowess.

The mo gbo mo yas (the uninvited) too were not left out as I was greeted from left, right and center by those I couldn’t remember when last I saw or spoke to them but what can I do, it was a matter of ‘everybody come inside” as Rice and stew was very plenty. The guys in charge of the green &dark bottles were on hand to do the job and a bit wicked to the extent that guests’ tables were bombarded with more drinks immediately they saw your bottle’s contents were halfway and people kept asking for more while the varieties of food on display were so sumptuous and irresistible. The assorted spirits were not for everybody but a selected few who knew it’s worth and who could tell when they got to their LIMIT cos I no fit carry person go house o.

Mr. Kay then arrived and quickly swung into action with the green bottles without eating anything as if he was in competition with someone we didn’t know, he kept downing the bottles and was always calling my attention when the boys were not serving him and I was always intervening. Apparently, the servers knew he was almost reaching his limit but as he no gree, wetin man go do? Trouble started when Mr. Kay climbed on the plastic table and started dancing but obviously, he was off beat and with some appeal, he calmed down but a while later, it was another scene we saw with mouths agape, Mr. Kay was seen crawling around and got into an altercation with the barbecue guy asking to be used as barbecue in appreciation for the enjoyment he had had at the party. It was a very shameful scene and he got out of control blaming the Federal government for making life so unbearable to the extent that he had no other choice than to “take the Federal government to court” to defend his human rights. “Chaeee, wetin consign human rights for this matter now?”

A bucket of water did some trick on him and he calmed down but couldn’t stand upright anymore; so a macho man volunteered and backed him out of the venue. Before I would be accused of manslaughter, I asked a few of his acquaintances who came with a car to help drop him home a few streets away which they obliged but yet another scene happened in his house as his neighbours concluded he had probably been poisoned and didn’t allow them leave until the police arrived and trust the police, they almost turned the matter around but it was eventually settled after careful explanation (don’t ask me the type of explanation) to them. Mr. Kay claimed the next day that we must have been mistaken that he was never at my party the previous day and to that we showed him pictures and videos of the Nollywood movie he performed and all chorused “awoof dey run belle”.

“KNOW YOUR LIMIT”