THEY DON’T PLAY O
And so we were almost done with the house chores and getting ready for church when I heard the commotion and noise outside. I dismissed it as the usual daily disturbance that we were used to on my street of a few jobless boys who resume at the drink parlour opposite my house in the morning and sometimes never leave till the bar owner locks up; yet they are quick to mouth or go on social media that the government has failed Nigeria youths. The question is, have they not failed themselves?
Back to the commotion, the noise was from the owners of the property where I live and they had come to assess one devil incarnate tenant who was self employed, living the big girl life and had refused to pay her house rent for the past 3years but was already in court but we all know how Naija’s judicial process is slower than a snail. Her brothers had always boasted around the house that no property manager or owner had ever been successful with evicting her from the houses she had ever lived in before but she was in for a shocker this time as the property owners obviously didn’t come to play. They called her out and engaged her in a sensible discussion at first and then she flared up that nobody can evict her from the property except she decided to leave on her own volition. Pride truly goes before a fall, one would have expected her to plead with them and sort it out amicably but she obviously thought since the matter was already in court, they would have to wait for the outcome.
The time had come and they swung into action, they had a supposed juju man they brought with them who was inside the car waiting to be summoned to come and perform. At this point I had taken my family to church and was back at home because I didn’t want to miss out of this our own local Black Panther movie. The juju man came to the scene and started spewing incantations but our proud neighbor was still standing. We had a loud bang which was her apartment door that had automatically slammed shut. Act one scene one, e be like say pride wan take cover now o as madam began to shake trying to make a call but the phone fell out of her hand. Let me come and be going to my church jeje o but on a second thought, i said to myself i must see the end of this. At this time her brothers had started battling with the door but nothing happened, next was that the power supply madam big girl had been tapping from fellow neighbours as she had refused to pay off her mounting electricity bill went off throwing the apartment into darkness. Act one scene two. Today na today o, monkey go go market he no go come back home.
A crowd had formed outside our house as the movie was going on causing a little traffic. At this stage, madam big girl started to cry instead of pleading but the cries fell on deaf ears. These people were indeed here for serious business o. The final straw that broke the camel’s was stunning to say the least. The juju man went back to the car trunk and brought out a small he-goat and asked madam big girl if she was ready to leave but she didn’t say a word and thereafter, he asked everyone to bear him witness after the question he had just asked her. Baba put a local necklace around the goat’s head and after another round of incantations, the goat began to shrink till I am sure it wouldn’t even weigh five kilograms and thereafter told madam big girl that if she remained in that house one more day, what just happened to the goat would happen to her. At this point some people took to their heels but for where, I must see the end of this. Act one scene three had just been unveiled and as the juju man strolled back to the car, the apartment doors opened, meaning madam big girl was left with only one option as she had been humbled by now. She could now make a phone call and her brothers disappeared into thin air only to return like thirty minutes later with a truck to start packing. The property owners waited till madam big girl packed everything. Lesson learnt, NEVER mess with semi illiterate property owners in Lagos who live off the proceeds of the property o.
I had complained to my doctor of a serious headache that has lasted over a week and he advised that it was a result of stress and placed me on some sleeping pills which aided this my dream. E be like say I don dey sleep well these days and can remember my dreams well now. I pray for a whistle blowing dream in my next sleep but make that one turn to reality o cos if it does, money don show be that.
