Why I’ll Never Make it as a Writer
Some of you will understand
Yesterday an acquaintance messaged me asking to employ me as a writer. She even asked what my rate was. How much did I charge per word…
This is what most people would dream of. I didn't have to pitch for it, I didn't have to fight for it. An opportunity offered to me on a plate.
But I didn't reply.
This isn’t the first time this has happened.
Why did I do that?
Because the voice telling me that I’m a useless, worthless writer and will never succeed is too strong.
My inner critic has recently been winning. She used to be buried deep, but right now she’s back in charge.
The truth is I’m scared. I'm pathetically scared of even trying. I’m fearful that the client will take one look at my work and discard it. I’m scared of how far I have to go to be where others already are.
Lately, everything I think is negative. This could be to do with the fact that I’m in isolation for a month, drowning in debt, and that my future is uncertain.
But why am I not chasing after any gig I can get? Because I have spent my life working in jobs. With and for other people. With a safety net. Knowing I will get a salary at the end of the…
