Early Signs of Emotional Abuse

Emotional abuse is repeated emotional mistreatment of another person. It can include verbal aggression and denial of feelings. Emotional abuse can be perpetuated in any kind of interpersonal relationship — with intimate partners, with people in situations of power, within friendships, and within family relationships.

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Emotional abuse can be difficult to recognize when it’s happening to you, especially since a common form is denial of the problems by the perpetrator. At times, the abuse can be quite subtle. Here are some early signs of emotional abuse. An abuser might:

• Be unwilling to prioritize your needs, rather putting you into the position of having to prioritize theirs.
• Be dismissive of your feelings, invalidating them or claiming you overreact.
• Refuse to respect your opinions, suggesting that you are usually or always uninformed and/or wrong.
• Create arguments out of nowhere, causing you to regularly feel on edge or worry that something minor will cause them to be angry with you.
• Be overly critical of you- small things that do not affect them or only affect them in small ways result in criticism.
• When you try to address times they have disrespected you or conflicts you have had with them, claim not to remember the event.
• Use the guise of “teasing” to say things that are hurtful and go too far.
• Read your private conversations, demanding social media passwords, or otherwise invading your digital privacy.
• Control who you spend time with, perhaps subtly, or by jealously suggesting that you are prioritizing others over them unfairly. They also might criticize all the people you are close to, making it appear that the only valid relationship you have is with them.
• Make unfounded accusations towards you, which can result in you feeling guilty, despite the accusations being based on nothing.
• Repeatedly ignore boundaries you try to set, and then might suggest that your boundaries are unreasonable.
• Unexpectedly give you the silent treatment instead of having an outburst.

Get Help

Domestic abuse hotlines are not exclusive to physical abuse. Emotional abuse is also abuse and you can use text and phone lines for help.

• National Domestic Abuse Hotline: Call 1.800.799.7233 or text START to 88788
• Crisis Text Line: text HOME to 741741
• Love Is Respect hotline, chat line, or text line.

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