Fans of Well-Known Creators
Uplift’s Creator / Fan Relationships Series
As online platforms grow and change, the potential relationships between creators and fans do as well. This is part of our series on best practices for navigating these relationships.
If you’re in an online community, then you might know someone internet famous — well known within an online community, but not necessarily in society at large. These influencers and creators hold power within these communities and are looked up to by fans. This is a unique social dynamic that we, as a society, are still learning how to about. What are some best ways to move through the experience as a fan?
Know that you have a right to healthy and safe relationships.
Toxic relationships are often marked by a lack of balance, a lack of follow-through, and a feeling that there is no way out. Both folks in the relationship should be able to speak their truth and have friends they spend time with independently of the other person.
If you think you are currently in a bad situation, seek help and consider cutting off contact. Check out Love is Respect and our resources for survivors for more information and support.
Know that you should never feel pressured to be sexual or nude for anyone else.
You should never feel pressured to be sexual or provide sexual content like nude photos or nude video calls. If you ever feel that someone is pushing you to be sexual, you have the right to shut that down. Nobody has a claim to your else’s body, and nobody is ever owed sex or nudity. It doesn’t matter how famous, beautiful, talkative, or kind the other person is — if they make you feel uncomfortable, you can — and should! — say no. It’s not rude to enforce your boundaries.
The flip side of this is also true. Just as you don’t owe anybody else sexual content, nobody else owes you sexual content. Like we said before: Nobody has a claim to anyone else’s body, and nobody ever owes anybody else sex or nudity.
If you are a young person, please reach out to a trusted adult if you are experiencing pressure or abuse in a romantic or sexual situation.
More information can be found on our resources page.
Think complexly about creators.
Popular creators have control over their social media and content, and they publish only what they want their fans to see. They may edit out embarrassing, uncomfortable, and private information, as well as their faults, just like we all do on our profiles. You may think you know them well, but you are only seeing part of the whole picture — which is at the discretion of the creator.
Creators are people — they just have an audience. Be careful not to idealize them; it is important to treat them with the same courtesy you would give anyone else. Respect their boundaries. You don’t have the right to a creator’s personal life. Never pry or snoop, and respect their requests for space.
Never feel like you have to act a certain way or be sexual to keep a creator’s attention. No matter how amazing a creator is, know that you are just as worthy of respect and dignity. If they threaten to cut off a relationship with you if you don’t push yourself way out of your comfort zone to please them, let them leave.
If you’re a creator or fan currently in a personal relationship — either as friends or romantic partners:
Ask yourself whether you’re attempting to control the other person, or if you’re relying on them for your happiness. Those are signs of an unhealthy relationship. In a healthy relationship, both people are communicating openly, both are able to be their own person, and both have meaningful friendships outside of their partnership.
Stay aware of your power dynamic. Often, popular creators will have more power in a relationship than a fan. A fan may feel that they have to bend over backwards to keep the creator happy and to continue such an important relationship. A fan may also fear that they can’t end a relationship because the creator may bad talk them using their platform. Plus, if the creator in the relationship is much older or more experienced than the fan, then the fan may feel as if the creator is leading the relationship, and the fan is at their whim. None of this is healthy.
If you don’t feel like you are in a healthy relationship, seek help and consider cutting off contact. Check out Love is Respect and our resources for survivors for more information and support.
Coming soon in part 4: How Staff at a Creator Network play a role in fan/creator dynamics
Read part 1: Creator/Fan Relationships and part 2: Creator responsibility
Uplift is dedicated to combatting sexual violence in online fandom spaces through education and advocacy. Find more at uplifttogether.org
