We need to stop being afraid of refugees — help me spread the truth
There are moments when fear saves you and moments when fear kills you. At this moment in time, a deadly mix of fear and false information is risking people’s lives.
Early last month, I returned to Europe with the International Rescue Committee to raise awareness of the refugee crisis — now a completely different story from when I visited Greece more than a year ago. Tens of thousands are stranded indefinitely across Greece and the Balkans, with limited legal options to continue their journey to a new life.
I was traveling with my wife, Kathryn. We wanted to listen to these brave people, to hear their stories. These are families like ours, and they are hurting. But they are fighters — and true teachers of how we are supposed to be as human beings.
I saw my sons in the faces of these boys
We revisited Kara Tepe refugee camp on the Greek island of Lesbos. The camp had dirty roads and flimsy tents in November 2015; now it’s equipped with clean living spaces for over 800 refugees, most of them from Syria, Afghanistan and Iraq. It’s a decent environment, but hardly a home.
One of our most moving visits was with a group of young men and boys traveling alone. They ranged in age from nine to 18. And they opened up in the most memorable ways, telling us details of their life-threatening journey.
Three of the boys invited us to their art class. The program is run by Ilias, a doctor of political sociology from Thessaloniki. He’s a beam of light, a master of listening, a gift to them at this moment in their fragile lives.
I saw my sons in the faces of these young boys. I was overcome with emotion and couldn’t speak. Why should these beautiful young men be caught in limbo? It was hard to say goodbye as we made our way to Serbia.
The most vilified of the most vulnerable
There’s no compassion for single young men in Serbia. No sympathy. They’re escaping a horrible war themselves, trying to continue their education, simply trying to stay alive.
They are perhaps the most vilified of the most vulnerable — their only crimes are that they did not want to fight and kill in the wars back home.
They believe that they’ll never have the opportunity through legal means to cross borders and continue their journey to safety.
Borders are essentially closed until the European Union states can come together to create a humane system to rescue these vulnerable souls.
So they give themselves up to smugglers, risking their limited financial resources and in some cases their lives. And they wait…and wait…some in dilapidated, rundown warehouses unfit for human beings.
Most of these young men had been students and were deeply grateful that we were willing to listen to their stories, their deep frustrations at having their educations so dramatically interrupted. As one of them said, “I wasn’t even allowed to play cricket on the street without fear of losing my life.”
The graffiti on the wall summed up their feelings: “With guns you can kill terrorists, with education you can kill terrorism … We need education. No more war.”
Never apologize when expressing how you feel
We met an extraordinary man from Afghanistan who was open and friendly and spoke incredible English. He talked about a difficult journey and then he got very upset: “Your country forced us to be here,” he said to me. He blamed the United States for the death of his parents. There was great silence and pain.
But I had to say something; silence wasn’t acceptable. I found him later that day after visiting other wonderful families. He apologized and I quickly told him never to apologize when expressing how you feel; your anger is a gift.
I told him if I had one thing to give him, it would to be to bring his family back. He wisely said, “We can’t change the past, but we can change the future.”
“Kindness…we need kindness”
Farhad Nouri is a 10-year-old artist from Afghanistan currently stranded in Serbia. His dream is to get to Switzerland or the United States, where he can have a life free from war and study his craft.
His gift is obvious. He shared his drawings with us. They were exquisite, the product of no training whatsoever.
His favorite artist is Picasso. He plays with the style of Jackson Pollock and showed me his sketch of Angelina Jolie.
“She rescues children,” he said.
I asked him if he had bad dreams from the war.
“Sometimes,” he responded.
He began to tell me about a recurring dream of his father outside their house where he heard gunshots. He then broke down in tears, remembering how terrified he was that his father might not come home.
Later we sat on a bench and talked more about his art. My wife and I are one of the lucky recipients of an original Farhad Nouri that will hang proudly on our living room wall.
I explained to him that I would be sharing our visit and asked if there was anything he wanted to say to the people of the world. He grew quiet, thinking, and then said: “Kindness. We need kindness. Not just for me, but for all refugees.”
Then I became a grandpa…
We visited an asylum center in Šid, a town in Serbia near the Croatian border, opposite the train station. It was here that I met an eight-year old young boy named Abid who also spoke excellent English, introduced me to his family, and informed me he would one day become a doctor to help all the beautiful people who were hurt from war. Then he called me grandpa.
In the midst of the sadness, the helplessness, the loss of hope; I was made a grandfather.
We all need to stop being afraid
One of the most emotional days for me was reuniting with the Alassy family, whom I had originally met more than a year ago on Lesbos. They had lost everything during their journey to Greece, and after I gave them some travel money, they were able to make their way into Germany. I had stayed in touch with the father, Koder, on WhatsApp.
I told them that we saw so many families just like theirs, all looking to find a home and start a new life. Seeing the Alassys had achieved this was so wonderful—I was overcome with emotion. The whole world should make sure that every family has this.
We — Americans as well as Europeans — must show solidarity with refugees. We need to find a way to lift these bans all over the world to welcome people into our countries and our neighborhoods and our homes, our mosques, our synagogues, our churches. We need to stop being afraid.
These refugees are living my grandparents’ lives. I would not be alive today if the United States had not offered them sanctuary.
Now is the time to act
Some of you have asked what you can do to help refugees. My view is that we cannot stay silent. Now more than ever, you can help share their stories, be their voice.
You can write or pick up your phone and call your Members of Congress, representatives or local politicians to make sure they know you stand with refugees. You can have a conversation with a refugee family, find an IRC office near you and volunteer, help to teach them English.
You can spread the truth.
Whatever you can do, please do — but now is the time to act.
All photos taken by Tara Todras-Whitehill for the IRC
Refugee crisis in Europe and Middle East: How the IRC helps
The International Rescue Committee responds to the world’s worst humanitarian crises, helping people to survive, recover and reclaim control of their future. Founded in 1933 at the request of Albert Einstein, the IRC has works in over 40 countries and in 28 resettlement offices across the United States. Learn more about the IRC’s response to the refugee crisis and how you can help.
Find more refugee voices in the IRC’s Uprooted publication on Medium.
