Every night I go to sleep, a question bothers me. A question that brings negative thoughts and makes it really hard for me to sleep. It takes hours to find an answer to this question, "Will I ever make it?"
I feel stressed, depressed and anxious. I am never hopeless though. I embark on a journey of self-discovery, going through my past achievements, my current abilities, and my future goals. What I struggle with is making random fake scenarios. Recently, for instance, when I applied for my academics in Australia, I was bombarded with negative thoughts that I’ll not be accepted. The question "Will I ever make it" echoed in my brain again. I was really anxious about my acceptance and struggled to sleep these days. When I got to know that I was accepted, I took a sigh of relief. However, moments later I questioned myself again about whether I’ll make it or not since I’m stepping into a new world.
As the eldest child of parents, I want to be successful and provide for my family. When I say provide for my family and will I ever make it, I'm talking about providing peace and happiness. Having a nice car, a luxury house and money is also important but for me, peace and happiness means everything.
This question at times, makes me sad as well. Mistakes I've made in the past stab me as regrets. Procrastination, emotional decisions, anger and a non-serious attitude resulted in my failure. I questioned whether I'll make it, due to my past failures. Even Though I've learned from my past mistakes and I'm certain that I would not be repeating them, they still haunt me by making me overthink about achieving my goals.
So dearest readers, if you have ever felt this way, please share your experiences with me and how you overcame this. This article was only about what I feel, my problems, and didn't have a solution. I really need to know the solution, so please take some time to share your insights and help me as a virtual friend.
