Five Things Learnt From The Opening Weekend of the Premier League.

After quite the boring break where niggaz accompanied their girls to fashion shows, claiming love when it was boredom- please don’t @ me for ye know thyself-the maiden English Premier League weekend finally delivered in quite the enthralling, intriguing, introspective and heartbreaking colossus of sports entertainment enigma. And boy didn’t we fucking love it? Except you’re a Liverpool or Chelsea fan… *runs*

Ok I’m back.

While it also doled out sizeable doses of delusions and inspired ignorance theorizing in equal measure, we learned some facts; pointers to how the season might end and here are some;

Five things we learnt form the opening weekend of the premier league.

  1. Premier League Managers And Their Destructive Love of Zonal Marking: FFS it’s 2017. Some of us aren’t managers, yet we see Zonal marking for what it rightfully is; an archaic practice. Still, our managers want to remain in 1960. Wtf??
  2. This will be a season of good cheer for strikers. Goals Goals Goals Goals. 31 goals, 8 clean sheets and only one goalless draw from the opening round of fixtures.
  3. Get your signings right: Problems don’t fix themselves in football. If you leave them hoping they will, they won’t. They’ll just fester. It’s a lesson we hope Conte and Klopp learn very fast.
  4. Squad depth will play a key role in determining who wins the title, with 3 of the favourites competing in the UCL, long term injuries to key players who have no replacement could mean a disastrous campaign for the favourites.
  5. Morata will prove a good buy: No matter how I spin this, some cynics won’t buy it, so I’ll just let res ipsa loquitor. But remember, you heard it here too.

Special mention:

  • Manchester United fans will never learn. Remember y’all won 3 games in row before going on a voyage through the 6…..with your woes!!
  • It’s too early to call anything, but it’ll be a special EPL season. Y’all will do well to not write Spurs off though.

Yours faithfully, PennedMusingsNG . Follow me on twitter @Weird_Liberal

Till we meet again, in controversy.

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