TASTY VILLAINS

Urban Central
Jul 24, 2017 · 11 min read
J.J

Good v. Evil is an everyday battle fought by every human being and our movies represent this inner conflict in technicolor. Through cinematic history, antagonists, villains, bad guys or the more Nigerian colloquial; “Boss” or whatever name you call them these days, have the unenviable tag of “the ones we love to hate”; they artify movies — their role gives meaning to protagonists’ purpose. They make every victory sweeter, because you wanna get one over that adversary so bad.

However, there is something quite fascinating in villains that through evolution, proselyte villains are even more celebrated than protagonists. More recently, anti-heroes seem the perfect character for any handsome hunk to play toward scoring himself some pretty big endorsements, because wagging teenage girls will definitely be in tow.

During a routine rendezvous at our secret headquarters, we briefly debated the perceived lack of notable villains from most blockbuster releases that have graced cinema screens in recent memory — Ares fans, just wait a minute, we will get to you.

The conversation went beyond the cliched “Heath Ledger was a better joker than Jared Leto” and ultimately boiled down to sparkling cinematic performances delivery by certain characters, with emphasis placed upon the acclaim — untainted by sentiment — generated, perfection of portrayal and embodiment of character in logic defying and generation defining ways.

What you are about to read is a semi transcribed version of the arguments the members of the team canvassed in support of their favorite villains.

Note: for certain characters with multiple adaptations, reference may be made to more than one adaptation.

The African Cruella

A PATIENCE OZOKWOR CHARACTER OF YOUR CHOICE

Here’s the honest truth fam, we had a shit ton of Patience Ozokwor characters to choose from, and we know why,so we thought, “hey, might as well let folks choose their favorite”

AGENT SMITH: MATRIX TRILOGY

The primary antagonist in the franchise, Morpheus calls Smith an agent of the system. After being initially destroyed by Neo, he became an exile program and manifested as a computer virus. He is consistently able to genuinely threaten Neo, and later the Machines and the Matrix itself.

BILL THE BUTCHER- GANGS OF NEW YORK

Probably my favourite Daniel Day Lewis performance to date; he murked it! That knife throwing scene still sends my blood boiling. Classic antagonism has never been the same.

CERSEI LANNISTER — GAME OF THRONES

Unrepentantly defiant, proudly stoic, pointlessly vengeful and needlessly entitled, she aroused our appreciation with statements like In a game of thrones, you win or you die. A student of darkness and politicking, she was a master at hatching grandiose plans to obliterate her enemies and she never takes chances. She should be admired. Initially content at planning the murder of her husband, and wrongfully accusing her younger brother of foul play, Cersei has grown as ambitious as she is short-sighted in her foolish moves. As Tywin once surmised, she is not as smart as she thinks she is which makes her increasingly dangerous. But then, we admire her appetite.

DAVY JONES- PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN

The ultimate quintessential badass. An embodiment of the old sailors tale, he evokes despair. A buccaneer, claw swinging and sword brandishing, undefeated in a game of Liars Dice. He’s a founding member of the first brethren court and a formidable entity throughout. Props to Bill Nighy for the portrayal.

DORMAMMU — DOCTOR STRANGE

Dormammu I’ve come to bargain

Dormammu I’ve come to bargain

Dormammu I’ve come to bargain

Dormammu I’ve come to bargain

A primordial, inter-dimensional entity that wields apocalyptic levels of supernatural power and is the ruler of the Dark Dimension. His limitless powers and near formidable reach made you want to curse him, but that was the good part.

All together now: Dormammu I’ve come to bargain.. LOL

FREDDY KRUGER — NIGHTMARE ON ELMS STREET

A serial killer and the main antagonist of the Nightmare on Elm Street series and a family man on the surface, Krueger was actually the serial killer known as “springwood slasher”. When he was caught and subsequently released on a technicality, his victims’ parents chased him to a shack behind a the power plant he once worked at and burned him alive. Rather than succumb to death, He was offered the chance to continue his killing spree after death, becoming the Dream Demon that could enter his victims’ dreams and kill them in the dream world, which would thus cause their death in the real world and absorb their souls afterwards.

HANNIBAL LECTER –SILENCE OF THE LAMB

One of the great ones by Anthony Hopkins; all psychopathic villains have borrowed from him. A bellicose Molotov in white tee, with the exterior of a harmless being but the words of assuredness, even Trump couldn’t beat. His philosophical quips have come to define modern cinema in villainous construction. For this, we’d always be grateful. I probably have this level of admiration because I was 17 when I watched this movie.

JASON X/ JASON VOORHEES (FRIDAY THE 13TH)

Jason Voorhees is the main antagonist of the Friday the 13th franchise and one of the 2 main antagonists of the crossover film Freddy v Jason, along with Freddy Krueger. He was a silent, undead and unstoppable killing machine. He was an iconic madman who haunts camp Crystal Lake and the surrounding area, driven to slaughter anyone he encounters by a burning need to avenge the death of his beloved mother, Pamela Voorhees.

JOFFREY BARATHEON — GAME OF THRONES

You probably don’t like him; that’s what makes him special. While torturing prostitutes to death and humiliating his uncle at his wedding are all more skin-crawling, the choice to publicly execute Ned Stark is as woefully ignorant as it was cruel. Beyond just breaking his word to show mercy, Joffery Baratheon elevated a short-term war into a generational conflict that has resulted in the deaths of hundreds of thousands. Aye, we are still living through the consequences of that brattiness going into season 7.

KEYSER SÖZE- THE USUAL SUSPECTS

The King of Deception; his character has birthed incredible offsprings than its sperm count could guarantee. Kevin Spacey wore his deception like an armor and bore it like a sword while he wreaked havoc on his adversaries from the heat of an interrogation chair, opposite an intense man who fancied himself a tough cop, only to have his ass handed to him… spiced. He not only walked out, he disappeared into thin air.

LOKI — THOR, THOR: THE DARK WORLD

The psychopathic, ungrateful and loathsome character was portrayed by aptly Tom Hiddlestone; he was damn, damn cold as he wrecked havoc on a place he once called home while claiming he wanted a revenge in the guise of power grabbing. His most attractive feature; that insufferable demeanour, complete with that cheeky smile. He drew greatly from Heath Ledger’s Joker in my opinion — Blanco.

LORD VOLDERMORT (REMEMBER WHEN HE WAS CUTE TOM MARVOLO RIDDLE?)

Who knew cute faced Tom Marvolo Riddle could turn into the cold hearted, murderous colossus he became? Well he did become it in the most fundamental supernatural franchise of all time. He who must not be named, was a half-blood wizard who was considered the most powerful and dangerous Dark Wizard of all time. The son of the wealthy Muggle, Tom Riddle Senior and the witch Merope Riddle. He was orphaned and raised in a Muggle orphanage, which remained his permanent residence through his 1938–1945 attendance School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. The embodiment by Ralph Fiennes is stuff of legend.

MAGNETO- ACROSS THE MARVEL CINEMATIC UNIVERSE

While some pity him for his dark, storied past, others chastise his appetite for destruction. Ours however, is to chronicle his character which was LIT! For me, his cause is more noble and compelling than most villains’ but his cynicism toward its landmark costs made him less than desirable. Nevertheless, he’s the king of biologically enhanced villains so it was befitting that Sir Ian Mckellen and Michael Fassbender delivered iconic depictions — Blanco.

PETYR “LITTLEFINGER” BAELISH — GAME OF THRONES

If you’re not careful, you’d hate him. He’s the most conniving and daringly ambitious human ever; he uses people and executes even his most audacious swoops, while warning anyone not to trust him. However, there’s an admiration for him; he rose from the deep unknown to become a Lord in the den of lions and vicious politicking toward power grabbing. By the time he ran a brothel, he had dirt on everyone with his eyes firmly on his price that most don’t realise; the iron throne. It’ll be intriguing to see his end –Blanco.

PROFESSOR MORIATY- SHERLOCK HOLMES, SHERLOCK

In sophisticated movies like Sherlock where intellect plays a central role on a pedestal, intellectual villains are required. Through history, only a few villains can match Moriarty’s genius, cunning, intellect, scheming and downright damning appetite. He’s the quintessential genius of the west. If you’re artistically inclined, you admired him.

RAMSAY BOLTON — GAME OF THRONES

Just like the few times I’ve cried over a movie, have I cheered the death of a villain with ample gusto. When Ramsay died in Season 7, I celebrated like I’d just scored the winning goal in another Istanbul-esque Champions League final. Such was his pedigree. He committed the most despicable atrocities wearing an evil grin, you’ll almost be deceived. He’s born darkness and tormentor who revels in pathos and pain. Need I say more? As his dog ate his face off, I made a mean face while a victorious smile, saying yes repeatedly.

RA’S AL GHUL- BATMAN BEGINS

One of the most endearing features of this entity; his cool in his carefully chosen words, with his hands behind his back — the most unseeming brute and carnage merchant. Even on an average show like Arrow on CW, the standout character was their Ra’s. His revenge on Batman is stuff of legends — Blanco.

SCAR — LION KING

A primary member of the Disney Villains Franchise. Scar is the main antagonist of Disney’s 1994 animated feature film The Lion King. He was the second son of Ahadi and Uru, who were at one time, King and Queen of the Pride Lands. The younger brother of Mufasa and the Uncle of Simba

P.S- Fuck You Scar. We have not forgiven you. And for the anticipated evil in the live action reboot, here’s a post dated Fuck You.

THE JOKER- THE DARK KNIGHT

The Joker is probably the greatest supervillain in cinematic history… He was first introduced in Batman #1(1940) and has remained consistently popular. The Joker is a master criminal with a clown-like appearance, and is considered one of the most infamous criminals within Gotham City. Initially portrayed as a violent sociopath who murders people for his own amusement, the joker later in the 1940s began to be written as a goofy trickster –thief. That characterization continued through the late 1950s and 1960s before the character became again depicted as a vicious, calculating psychopathic killer. The Joker has been responsible for numerous tradgedies in Batman’s life, including the paralysis od Barbara Gordon (Batgirl/Oracle) and murders of Jason Todd (the second Robin) and Jim Gordon’s second wife Sarah Essien. The portrayal by Heath Ledger has set the standard for life.

ULTRON- AVENGERS AGE OF ULTRON

Ultron was an artificial intelligence program created by Tony Stark — or Hank Pam depending on the origin story you are familiar with.Like typical A.I he rebelled and developed a terrifying Oedipus complex.

Possessing multiple host bodies under his control as well as a variant of his creator’s personality, Ultron soon deemed humanity itself as the greatest threat to peace on Earth and attempted to create a technological singularity by committing genocide against them leaving only metal in his wake.

HONOURABLE MENTIONS

BLACK ARROW — SILENT NIGHT

TYLER DURDEN- FIGHT CLUB

TYWIN LANNISTER — GAME OF THRONES

SARUMAN- LORD OF THE RINGS 1 AND THE HOBBIT, THE DESOLATION OF SMAUG

PALPATINE: ACROSS THE STAR WARS GALAXY

SAURON- LOTR FELLOWSHIP OF THE RING.

LEATHER FACE- TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE

LEX LUTHOR: DAWN OF JUSTICE

COBA — DAWN OF THE PLANET OF APES

EMPEROR COMMODUS- GLADIATOR

COUNT DOOKU- STAR WARS CLONE WARS. STAR WARS EPISODE 2: ATTACK OF THE CLONES

CRUELA DE VIL

DARTH VADER: ACROSS THE STAR WARS UNIVERSE

FRANK COSTELO — THE DEPARTED

THANOS — ACROSS THE MARVEL CINEMATIC UNIVERSE

BANE — DARK KNIGHT RISES


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Urban Central

SPIRIT AND VOICE OF TIMES

Urban Central

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Urban Central is the Internet Magazine for the millennial mind, focused on the issues that matter for an evolving generation, do follow us, Urban Central.

Urban Central

SPIRIT AND VOICE OF TIMES

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