Frank Caron
Urban Fictionary
Published in
2 min readMar 7, 2016


It was about 7:30 pm on Sunday night when the credits of the season’s last episode appeared on the screen before them, snaps of white light strobing across the otherwise-dark room as each name scrolled past.

There they sat on opposite ends of the couch, throw-pillows as miles apart.

The weekend had otherwise been abrupt and unfulfilling. In turbulent jobs were their turbulent lives founded, and to bear a turbulent romance was only fitting if unfortunate.

A turbulent weekend, then, was commonplace — though one certainly must wonder of the turbulence beyond odd flatulence during the euphemistic marathon they’d just endured.

“What shall we watch now?” he mustered as he turned to look at her for the first time in four episodes.

“Whatever you want, darling.”

She turned towards him only to reach for her tea which had drawn as cold as her hands and his heart. The cup, adorned in small black dots encircling its white ivory basin, remained pristine in the years since it was gifted to them.

As she again lifted the cup to her face, she sighed ever so slightly, for she knew as the show ended soon too would the marriage.

Theirs was a union bereft of love, and affection, and chill. All that remained was the Netflix.

Dexter banged out his thoughts on his keyboard viciously. Injustice afoot, and the world must know.

“That was one of the worst closing monologues of any episode I’ve ever watched. What kind of overwrought, J-school drop out penned this load of crap? ‘All that remained was the Netflix’!? Are you fucking kidding me?!”

Satisfied with his statement, he slammed the enter key victoriously. He then began refreshing the page, F5 after Command-R, in wait for the validation that was never coming.

N.b., To invite someone over for “Netflix & Chill” is roughly analogous to the older invitation up for a cup of coffee at 2 in the morning. It is a proposition for sexual congress in disguise meant to allow acceptance without overt admission of mutual guilt. Care should be avoided in this enterprise lest one suffer from “Netflix & Children”.