Tuesday In The Office

Frank Caron
Urban Fictionary
Published in
2 min readJan 13, 2016


The crowd huddled closely around Lindsay’s monitor. Only the occasional chuckle and whisper of “oh, I could do that” escaped the group’s rapt awe.

As the audience remained entranced, Steven passed by. He noticed the entire Marketing team, otherwise heads down during the busy season of post-holiday promotional work, gathered together.

Curious, he approached. He tried to see over the huddled mass, but he, not a tall man, could not identify the source of attention. All he could hear was the muffled tones of what sounded like a music video.

“What are you guys watching?”, he asked.

No one responded to him, though a few more giggles and comments escaped the otherwise-impermeable huddle.

Frustrated, he tried again. “Guys, what is it?! I want to see, too.”

Samantha turned just enough to let a few words slip sideways out of her mouth, eyes remaining firmly fixated on the screen.

“It’s this new viral thing…”

She proceeded to tell him the name, but he couldn’t her exactly what she said. However, immediately upon hearing whatever it is he thought he heard, and often being one to make a scene when starved of attention, Steven turned around and ran across the office.

“Hey guys! Check this,” he exclaimed aloud. “Hey Daquan!”

Daquan turned around for Steven to slug him in the shoulder. His yelp of surprised pain and anger finally riled Steven’s would-be audience. Said audience was quickly horrified as it turned collectively to see what happened.

Steven was dismissed that day for assaulting a fellow coworker.

N.b., To “hit the quan” is to dance as though you are a geriatric, old, rhythmless man. This dance crazed swept the nation last year. It should not be confused with “Hit Daquan”, which is inappropriate in all instances but most importantly in the workplace.