Notes To Self That I’m Taking Into 2017
On what I learnt in 2016, my first year as a solopreneur or #femmepreneur.
December is usually the month filled with good wishes, closing chapters, reflection on projects and re-evaluating the year past. Thinking about new challenges ahead, especially refining the new plans for upcoming year & making resolutions. I’d say, January is THE month when gazillion of goals & plans are set in motion. We’re all in kick-off mode, I suppose. The following words you’re about to read below are not a “look back at 2016”, rather a personal and business experience / journey that led me to see, experience and re-evalutate some values, patterns and triggers that’ve helped me achieve my goals, step forward and leave some unnecessary baggage behind. Shortly: it’s what’s knocked me off my feet, but how I managed to get up, dust off, look back, smile (better: laugh on my account), learn from it. And then, move on (to greener pastures).
If I had to list it, I think these are 5 challenges (Notes To Self) I’ll be sharing with you. Let’s call them patterns turned Notes To Self that I’ve been able to see, difuse and un-learn to be able to succeed better personally and profesionally.
Note To Self #1: LET THINGS FLOW or let s**t go.
What Doesn’t Kill You Makes You Stronger, Right? I used to have an “overly- present” concept of what I called “finality of everything”. Perhaps it was partly the upbringing mixed with the life and business experiences I had had, that have given me the sense of how serious, how final and how utterly important everything in life is. It refferred to good, bad and even the worst experiences. It felt like it was all stuck to me for eternity and even onwards. Looking closely at the patterns from my previous jobs, it was the feeling or sentiment that my bosses, leaders and colleagues usually intensified. If something went wrong, it was terrible, horrible, utterly unacceptable. It shouldn’ve happened, not in this team, on this watch, under this leadership in this quartal…. When I’m writing this, what comes to mind is….Seriously? Still, when you’re “in”, immersed into this “always-watching-out-scared-of-what-could-happen”, this is the modus operandi you pick up easily. It’s even harder to shake it off, quite truthfully. It doesn’t relate only to the more or less negative outcome you become used to anticipate, it’s even more dangerous for your mind and body to process constantly, in loops, what should’ve been done with, forgotten, closed. It doesn’t help when everyone around you tells you that you “need to change something”, it’s simply the path of recognizing it, that you need to conquer yourself, on your own terms in your own time. There are no shortcuts, there’s no coach, guru, super-human that can push you forward. It’s part of the process of self-discovery that goes like this: “Things happen, s**t happens, things change, we win some we lose some and we LET GO”. We don’t pack it all to go. It needn’t become our long-life baggage or file / backup to remember forever. Because honestly, nothing lasts forever (which refers to Note To Self 3). For me, to be able to prosper, it’s of utter importance to find my own process, learn from my successes and (epic) fails….and then MOVE ON. Let it go, letting it flow with the river of life, because it’s served me for what I needed to learn (to be more poetic). For me, accepting the fact that I need to let go of things, experiences and (sometimes) people, was the most deep and meaningful Note To Self in accepting and embracing life. Or to paraphrase one of my former colleagues “Are you alive? Do you have two eyes, two feet and can move? Yes? Then, life’s OK!”.
Note To Self #2: There’s no Work-Life Balance — LIVE Your LIFE in Balance, Fully, Mindfully
Coming from an environment where aligning your life to your work, rather than the other way around was the highest “value”, this was one of the strongest patterns that fueled my past business experiences and could’ve easily be sowed into my solopreneurial venture. Work-Life Balance was a “motto” that for me lost all its meaning in corporate 24/7 dis-connected world reigned by working non-stop and almost competing who worked late(r) and during vacation and took no time off. Truthfully, now, I do not feel sorry for ex-colleagues, who post pictures on SM with their laptops & maritime views while their families are doing something entirely different during what’s supposed to be vacation, family time, time-off, time to disconnect or whatever you call it. Rather, for me, that’s not life, not work, even less, that’s anything BUT life-work balance or understanding how to set boundaries & how to value your personal life. When setting up my business it was crucial and hard work setting up schedules, work-time, play-time, on/off-time and alinging this with my values and my set of priorities that I wanted to set as pillars of my business & life. If I don’t set my expectations, no one will. If don’t respect myself enough to know HOW I’d like to run my life and business, then, I hate to say it, there’s no person out there who can, should, could or would. I’d most definitely like to be the captain of this boat I’m on.
Note To Self #3: Embrace The Change — Nothing Lasts Forever
I was born under the sign of Taurus, so you can imagine change is not really my forte (or in the top 10 of my virtues). Quite the opposite in fact, it’s taken many “shake-me-to-the-core” moments and experiences that’ve pushed me into working on mindfully developing a flexible, bend-able mindset. To be able to accept change, not to just be prepared for it, but to incorporate it into my every day life and business. We change, people change, businesses change and trends come and go. My biggest A-ha moments are to mindfully remember & keep track of the good memories, good experiences and great feelings of all that’s happened, especially for those times when you really need a boost or a pick-me-up support.
Note To Self #4: When S**t Hits The Fan, Know Who or Where Your Safety Net Is
Truth be told, Social Media has changed my personal and professional life. After I broke my ankle in 2015 and was forced to stop everything and go into rehabilitation, I used digital world as a window to escape from my “bed-rest” and not being able to walk for 10 weeks, having that feeling of “life passing you by”. It was the best time for me, it was the pick me up I genuinely needed then, when I felt alone, missing opportunities out there and having deep discussions with myself and the meaning of life. I started seeing the real value of Social Media and I’ll be forever grateful for it. I started listening to conversations, exploring the work and lives of amazing people, tapping into communities and getting my life back together. More importantly, this turned into my self-transformation of my personal brand and work I do with my clients. Not only that, I’ve learnt the importance and value of having your safety net, people around you who can lift you up, understand you and show up for moral support when the going gets tough. Because let’s face it, we’d all want to operate in the sense of “When the going gets tough, the tough get going”, but hey, this is real life. When your work is in a digital environment, as a one-man/woman-band and when a lot of people are scattered across the globe and different timezones, you DO need a place & ways to communicate, support each other and celebrate small wins, take time for virtual coffee dates or #GIFdanceparty. Finding, connecting and doing my best to keep the convos going, sharing ideas and having fun, but most of all, knowing somebody has got my back, no matter what, has become one of the pillars and drivers of the work I live / do. Even more, I’m becoming midnfully aware of what I’d like to see, read and whom I’d like to engage with in the digital landscape or have part of my digital map.
Note To Self #5: Always Act From A Place Of Good, Kindness And Empathy for Yourself and Other
I come from a long line of storytellers. I can still remember my gradfather sitting on the couch telling stories that could keep my attention for hours. Apart from stories of his childhood, teenage years, war and post-war challnges, what I learnt from him has stuck with me for life, I hope. He was a man who used his words for good, never mis-spoke about other people and whose words echoed trust and kindness. People called him Hari (his real name Bernhard) and they loved him as colleague, friend, leader and also husband, father, grandfather. He was the person, looking back now, who used his endless patience and listening abilities to try to make people get along, collaborate and create greater good. With him, I developed a strong love for animals, plants, the written word, languages, arts, music and cinema that has intertwined with every job, work and assignment I have done.
Prepping, executing and leading workshops (in 2016 I’ve done over 150) I’ve been mindfully crafting my most important inner guidance — buidling rapport, pacing with different audiences, listening to other people’s lives and integrating this into a bigger picture — work that fuels new projects. I realized my biggest value I can “offer” is to come from a place of good, kindness in ANY situation I can. In the true sense of what our NLP trainer / mentor told us on many occasions — we’re there to map and collect what our clients bring to the table — simple as that — not to consult, give our opinion or to impose our suggestions. Listening without predjudice or judgement, supporting with questions that help those looking for solutions, leading them to find their inner sources of power and strenghts. Nope, that doesn’t mean it’s easy peasy, no brainer, it’s actually mindful practice and work in putting people first, letting them share their stories and finding their paths. And nope, it doesn’t mean ALL is acceptable or that anything goes. It’s more about training ourselves and our brains to understands others from a neutral, non-judgemental point of view about who they are, where they’re coming from (patterns, unconscious triggers, biases) and what their values, motives, intentions are. And in this era of digital communication, it means being mindful with our actions and words that we send out to the world. Words do matter, whether you’re speaking up, speaking about or conversion with others on a specific topic. Use your words for good — to inspire, empower, celebrate others.
3 simple mindful practices I’m taking into 2017 and beyond:
- Stay curious and keep on learning — in every situation, from everyone, no matter the topic, with the intent to grow and have a bend-able mindset.
- Self-discovery leads the way — understanding and accepting myself fully makes it possible to bring my best self forward, in life and work.
- Keep on story-gathering and sharing stories — finding inpiration and motivation in everything I do to fulfill a purpose greater than myself.
