Of A Man And A Dog

This is a story that spur from one of many discussion on Twitter, with my #realtalk friend Mark Longbottom mark longbottom.

Yet, creatively inspired by Steinbeck’s Of Mice And Men (1937).

The whole conversation spurred from my post for #GlobalPicnic synch I do on Fridays. It’s called #thisismyview, to get the talkers, thinkers and friends together virtually to see where we are in the world and what’s our view that motivates us forward (you can check out the #GlobalPicnic hashtag) to get a “clearer” picture. And join in perhaps?

I posted this picture of a fountain on island Cres that got my attention.

This was Mark’s response (witty and creative as his persona, work and talks always are)

And we went on chatting like most days (emojis included):

And here goes another round:

And of course a picture tells more than 1000 words, right?

Finally, Mark’s last answer was the “idea trigger” for this short story, I wanted to share.

Firstly, let me give you a little insight into the story that’s in reading before you. My second adopted dog Akela (who is between 10–13 years old, the exact age unknown, since he was found abandoned on a balcony before rescued and adopted) broke a leg a good week before going on holiday. Easy peasy you’d say, but we got the whole package — operation, cast, rehabilitation, painkillers and above all, the fear of not knowing how his healing would proceed. Otherwise he’s a grumpy go lucky fella, a special dog with a handful of behavioural “challenges”, but this has proven to be another nut to crack. We decided to take him with us on holiday (2 adults + 2 dogs), the vet gave his OK and we pre-prepared all the necessities. And here is where the story of changes, challenges and perceptions actually starts (like in life or biz, right?).

Our days were spent in taking daily walks and roaming around the cities, beaches and discovering the island, so we had to “innovate”. We bought water resistant boot for Akela and a kind of “hammock bag” to carry him around. We had a hard time finding something remotely useful, since we needed it to be delivered fast. Because although his “spirit” is willing, his arthritis damaged bones are sadly not. The fun part was actually, that the “hammock-used-for-carrying” is actually designed for smaller dogs (>10 kg) and you can imagine how fun it looks when his a bit too big body is cooped up in a slightly-too-small hammock. But once he finds his position in it, he’s more than happy to be carried around like a satisfied litttle pup, who naps while we walk.

What’s Your Perception?

Imagine this picture: A man carring a dog in a “hammock kind of bag” and a woman with a “firecracker-like” dog roaming the streets and beaches. It’s a sight that evokes different reactions (and I’ve been more than amused by some of them).

What it all boils down is perception:

1. First set of commentaries are: “Why does he need to carry a dog around? Is it a baby?”, “Why the hell does one get a dog when you need to carry it around?”, “And why in the name of xzy do you have 2 dogs if you need to carry one around — such a hard work!?”.
2. When people get close enough to see the cast on dog’s leg the commentaries / perceptions change drastically: “Oh, poor pup, he’s hurt and can’t walk, how nice of you to carry him”, “Oh my, how nice to take such a good care of him”, “Look, poor pup, can’t walk anymore and look how he enjoys being carried”, “What a lovely man!”.
3. Lastly, there are comments of surprise: “Oh wow, look at this ingenious idea for carrying dogs that are hurt”, “My, I have not yet seen such a solutions”, “Wow, it’s the first time I see a dog being carried like this”.

It all boils down to one thing — perception. Not just in the case of a dog and his broken leg, but every time we are facing a situation, a challenge, and idea or even a person or a group of people. Each one of us has its own set of lens when looking at the world around us and making sense of it. Our perception is fueled by past experience, values, knowledge and flexible, bend-able mindset we’re developing and nurturing. At the first glance one thing can be completely strange, different, difficult to understand, when at the second glance it can change completely or slightly or not at all. Perhaps when we get the chance to find something we “know” in a matter before us, it’s easily acceptable and “digestible”, more familiar, more to our liking, appreciation. It fits our maps of the world and meaning easier and it aligns with the values and beliefs we have, we’ve grown up with or have developed in our lifetime. It all helps the world around us stay in balance, make sense.

Akela’s sad face and cast on his leg was a great icebreaker and conversation starter indeed. It was funny though, to listen to and observe each and every person that we came into contact with. What still surprised me a few times is how “unconscious”, “sudden” and sometimes “unfounded” our perceptions and evaluations can be. Perceptions about a man carrying a dog, perceptions of why we need to carry a dog, perceptions of if the dog’s hurting or not, perceptions of roles of a man and a woman, having dogs, having a family,…. About what is right or wrong, acceptable or unacceptable, true or false, good or bad, mine or yours. We all face struggles with perceptions and evaluations at every step of our journey. Could be that some are more mindful about it, yet some not. Others see it as an opportunity to grow and expand their horizons and make their mindset more bend-able, for others it’s more of a challenge and they need more time, support and guidance.

In my profession and work I’ve heard and seen these perceptions and “evaluations” countless times with children, adults, you name it. At first glance they usually come across as:

• “My life sucks and I feel stuck and I think I need a change” (woman, late 40s)
• “I feel I’m not living my life to the fullest, something is missing” (woman, late 30s)
• “I would want my life to be less boring and more fulfilled, I think it’s too much of a routine” (woman, married, 2 kids)
• “I don’t think much of my future, living in this small town, I’ll probably follow in my parents’ footsteps and get a low-paid job and end up in this s**t hole” (boy, end of elementary school)
• “I would like to get a job where I’d feel appreciated, where I could matter and put all my potentials into action” (woman, late twenties, starting her career)
• “I think school (education) sucks. It won’t teach me anything I’d need in my life. Or what is fun, like real things in life” (teenagers, high school / students, University)
• I never thought my life would look like, as it does now. What happened to it, to me? It doesn’t resemble what I was envisioning for myself” (various men and women, between the age 30–40)

These all have one thing in common. It’s the perception of a situation, state of mind, feelings that are NOW, in this moment, from a view point a person has (adopted). It also reveals a lot about a person’s values, beliefs, hidden patterns, past experiences that perpetuate such perception or state of mind. It’s a working material, a canvas enabling us to take a deeper look into ourselves, our lives, our situations and the WHY behind our need for “change xzy”. Sometimes changes are fast, easy, happen like a simple switch, a simple shift in view, perspective, perception and it all gives us wings to fly on our way. There are also times, that it takes dedication and hard work to dig out and recognize the triggers that put us into a state or a position that is uncomfortable, difficult, unbearable, challenging or perhaps, shameful, undesired.

Being mindful of your triggers and wanting changes does not make it all better or spring your changed life into action. It’s necessary to fully understand where you’re coming from and why you think, act and “value” world around you in a certain way and often make conclusions, judgements or simply get frustrated with life, others. Many times it’s useful to take a step back and view the situation from a different, more distant (dissociative — in the sense of analyzing your challenge with a different set of eyes) standpoint. Observing from a various different corners or perspectives, can lead to new insights, ideas and strengths that are already in YOU to help you overcome the challenges you’re facing. Sometimes we simply need to push ourselves to “look under the hood”, see what’s boiling and take on life, one step at the time.

I’d like to thank your wholeheartedly for diving into this story. If it resonated with you, please share your thoughts. Do you believe it’s all about perceptions? Have you ever caught yourself jumping into conclusions solely because of perceptions and evaluations you’ve made? Or this happened to you? What did you do? What was your reaction?

For more topics related to life, life transitions, mindset, change and motivation in personal or business life, follow my URLA Talks. It’s part of my “Food4Thought” series, based on my life and work as a teacher, marketer, coach and dog momma. Feel free to shoutout on Twitter: Zala Bricelj or find me as one of the members of #GlobalPicnic community. We share our experiences, business tips and tricks as solopreneurs, LIVE every Tuesday 1pm ET, 5pm GMT, 7pm CET, 10pm IST.