“Tweet Others Like You Wish To Be Tweeted”
This Is A Quote from Brian Solis’s Keynote at #SMMW18 that stuck to my mind and embodies the way I’d like my students understand and embrace not just Online Etiquette but the concept and core value of Social Media and Digital Channels for personal or private affairs.
Part of my work in the digital space is preparing and executing workshops on Safe And Responsible Internet Use for different age groups and purposes and Building Your Digital Footprint and Branding Online. The content often revolves around the technology, tools, content strategy, content delivery and safe and responsible use of Internet/Digital Channels, including privacy and security. After talks with many of my colleagues and students I’ve come to realize that the big part of using Social Media and Internet Safely and Responsibly comes sort of as a backup plan, a pre-integrated option. A topic that’s in a sense become self-explanatory, something we all “know” — meaning simplified: “Don’t Post Stuff That Might Harm You Later For Any Reason”, yet when it comes to walking the talk — we DO fail and mess up. Often. Me too.
“Hey Online Etiquette, What’s Your Number?”
During my workshops with students I’ve come to a stopping point that literally dumbfounded me. Since I have the privilege of standing in a classroom almost every day, grateful for so many students of all ages sharing their experiences with me so willingly, I decided to run a small inquiry with them. Students aged 10–18, 2000 students included, so yes, a smaller sample. The “task” was simple — it included 5 questions about Internet & Social Media — focusing on experiences and behaviours we all have in regards to online content consumption and interactions. The questions (the questionnaire was on voluntary basis and in written form, so no online data or info could be collected or tracked— and since I do not know the handwriting of all of my students, I really couldn’t pinpoint who wrote what) were the following:
Q1 What is the most unpleasant, gruesome, disgusting, violent, disturbing, inappropriate, harmful content you’ve read, seen, watched, found online or engaged with online — anywhere?
Q2 What is the most unpleasant, gruesome, disgusting, violent, disturbing, inappropriate, harmful content YOU have posted, written, commented on or shared online — anywhere?
Q3 How often (daily, weekly, monthly) do you screen content or make screenshots of other people’s content — any kind?
Q4 How often have you screened or taken a screenshot, liked or shared any type of inappropriate content (posts, comments, videos, pics, MEMEs, GIFs, ….)?
Q5 Have you ever reported any content you found disturbing, gruesome, harmful or inappropriate — what type and where?
In all honesty, I was expecting a vast array of experiences, no matter the age and gender, also as I’ve come to realize, the place of residence (city VS rural) didn’t play a big difference. But what really shook me most profoundly are the following observations I made and first conclusions found.
Students were not having any trouble finding not just one example of content, but were sometimes able to count 5 or more instances or types of sickening content — AND the content was not sexually-related at all — there were mostly 3 categories — gore & different types of extreme violence against humans and animals, hateful speech and comments or totally humiliating somebody and comments on wishing somebody not being born, bringing him/her to life being a mistake or enticing somebody to take his/her life.
It was sad in way to read how students were writing B***H, F****T and were on the other hand totally able to write “Die you disgrace of a human being, shame your mother didn’t abort you” and variations of such. In another sad, but painfully truthful way I’m coming to see that negative sentiment and experiences have a much bigger impact on them, are much more memorable for them, than let’s say positive experiences they get/encounter online. When we discussed positive, inspiring examples they remember or that stuck to their minds they had much more difficulty remembering or finding it. More so, the positive, fun, “appropriate” content were mainly Youtubers who speak their mind (with or without foul language), accounts or users that present perfection and perfect bodies, food, places, numerous MEMEs and dare contests or pranks they found across Social Media and Internet.
The observation and screening their stories and responses that showed how often they encounter content that is death-related was mind-blowing. Even more, how desensitized their views of such content can be. More than 50% of the students have written to somebody (not strangers, but friends, BFFs, schoolmates, acquaintainces) words or phrases like: “Die”, “Kill Yourself”, “End Your Miserable Life, You Fuck”, “You’re A Disgrace Of A Human Being” and variations of such. Many of these interactions happened in closed groups or chat groups, so it meant that such comments escalated, yet very little users (in our case less than 10%) left the group or blocked the group where this was happening until something happened (parents found out, somebody complained in school, somebody told what happened to somebody outside the group, etc).
When it comes to the generalized belief that “these are generations of digital natives and how much they’re digitally savvy” — there was an extra surprise in the bag for me. When I looked through the answers for Q5 — how savvy and equipped they are when it comes to functionalities like block, report — they either don’t know how to do it without support of a friend, relative, parent who “knows the computers well”, or they think it’s pretty useless to report because the platforms act like dinosaurs before anything actually happens. Or they think that a single user reporting a user, content or behaviour doesn’t make a difference. When we discussed more in detail about users having the power and possibilities to make a difference in choosing to say “I don’t like this, by reporting this I’m protecting myself and other users”, almost 80% of these students view the Internet as place full of “crazy shit” and the fact that you can find so much disturbing content everywhere is just “matter of fact”, so better get used to it. 👈 This literally saddens me to the core. And I am determined to take small, baby steps to change this “perception” or accepting this “status quo”.
I’d like to show Internet users young and old that there are so many awesome users, so much useful, value add content and so many wonderful opportunities that are available for anyone who cares, who starts with responsibility & empathy in mind, seeing digitally connected world as a way to create a space, network, inner circle for yourself, to learn, grow and connect.
The question of screening and screenshoting other people’s content is not just something everybody does, it becomes even more “everybody is doing it so why can’t we?” practice among Internet users. Screening or inviting to screenshot content is very popular with many users, yet there is an additional questions that sits in the back of my mind — is it really become the norm that not a single piece of content stays in the same place, where users post it, but spreads across the internet through other users (often not even my friends)? And no, I am no talking about sharing buttons or Social sharing buttons on your website or your blog.
When we discussed screenshots more in detail, there is a specific behaviour and thinking that is prevalent (and worries me). The amount of screenshots is almost unbelievable — some students accumulated up to 4000 screnshots in a year, but on the other hand were not always paying attention to what kind of screenshots they were storing on their devices or sharing them forward or even more worrisome — they continued this behaviour, even if the owner of this content felt unpleasant or asked them to stop screening their stories or content. More specifically — there are some behaviours connected to inappropriate content (nudes, dick pics and nudity) that have become patterns I can find in any classroom, no matter the region. When a picture or screenshot starts circling there are usually three sides of interpreation — 1) this is only done by those who seek attention or don’t know better (in translation: smart girls and boys don’t do this, because they know better), 2) if your picture get around, you can’t protect yourself anymore (in translation: if everyone in your school has your “pic”, well that’s just it — end of the game), 3) getting pictures of naked body parts or other nudity-related content in any more — well, that just happens now, that’s how things are (translated: you can ignore it if it doesn’t sit well with you). Part of our intentions and work we do as educators revolves around helping students to understand cause — effect — and consequences, which for some reason in digital environment got a different meaning or interpretation, but shouldn’t be the case. Doing something solely because you can, you have access to or it just takes a button or two to push is something that happens a lot — not just with young people.
Being able to step away, breathe and THINK before you act is hard work and requires a lot of practice AND a lot of discussions, education (putting yourself into different positions, being able to feel / empathize with others). “Try walking in my shoes” comes into painful awareness when we realize few words can hurt more than daggers, slaps or fists, especially when you know that sometimes no action can stop it (in short time).
Through endless discussion it dawned on me that young people entering the digital arena learn mainly by listening to NOs, listening to negative triggers, while an important impetus — showing them the right way, explaining them why the right way is important — not because grown-ups say so, but because the lack of experience or not being able to understand consequences now, tomorrow and in 10 years could/can lead to unimaginable things. Lastly, by walking the talk ourselves (in translation: don’t do to others what you wouldn’t want being done to you), because our children, students are watching, screening and copying our behaviours all the time — not just related to the internet.
What is our role in this, my fellow educators?
I like to joke that I have my TOP 5 wherever I go and we talk or chat Internet, or more specifically Digital Competencies in Education.
A lot of misconceptions (here are TOP 3 persisting: 👉children are digital natives, 👉all children are addicted to screens and therefore have less respect for the traditional education, 👉without mobile phones and technology children would be able to communicate better, more often and more respectfully) are a combination of many factors. Being afraid of the unknown, the dispersion of point of authority & knowledge in the education process (no, we don’t know everything anymore and Encyclopaedias are replaced by “Google this”) and many times the fear of not being technology savvy to “compete” with them and their experiences.
Step 1: Don’t Hate What You Don’t Know Or Have No Experience With (Yet)
We can’t get ahead if our students keep on hearing they just waste their time on the Internet or on Social Media and they should get a life instead. Especially hearing how Social Media is only for wasting time and doing stupid things. If you think Snap is crap or Facebook is a waste of time that is not the motto to pin in your class. Turn the sentiment around and ask you students to show you the app, show you the content or explain their stories and what it means to them. We’re so trained to teach them that we forget to let ourselves be taught. Giving them the turn to teach, to matter, to be heard and to make the process of learning a fluid 2-way process. Give and take, give and take.
Step 2: “When We Were Young, We Survived Without The Internet And We Turned Out OK”
Well, this is 2018 and beyond, so time to keep up the pace. We can’t end the Internet and we need to start empowering our children and students how to use digitally connected world to their advantage. My dear collague says: show them how to find information, where to look for relevant, truthful information, how to use a program or app to create something and why limited time with computers / screens is a skills we need to practice daily. If we assume children will just “adopt” the mindset of knowing how to use technology or how much time to spend online — well, NOPE, doesn’t work that way. You need to crawl, before you learn to walk. Enforcing out past realities on them is simply a waste of time that could be spent better teaching them the discrepancies between the online and real-life experiences and encouraging them to co-create new experiences, knowing we will be there to support if needed. We can still find interesting ways to share our stories of the past, but it speaks volumes if we are open to embracing new realities or not. Our stories and behaviour we can share can help us empower our students to know the right from wrong, know how digital footprint can impact real life experiences and how we treat others around us.
Step 3: Lifelong Learning Takes A New Dimension With Internet
One thing I keep on missing when working with high school or older students is still the lack of curiosity and self-motivation to use Internet to expand your possibilites beyond just your country, state or possible future employment. Students of graphic design, media or graphic design that not harness the opportunity to learn about Github or have tried out different Social Media channels are missing out (to the competition). By embracing different styles of learning to the traditional education means we’re embracing the lifelong learning as a way to never stop learning, to exposing ourselves to new experiences, communities, learning, skills and knowledge. Tools that are now present in every family — laptops, iPads, mobile phones are a great way of using them for teaching or learning props, but we have to take time to understand how this can be done and how to plan our lessons and curriculum and adapt it to them. Educating with technology and tools needs changing our mindsets and routines too — that especially. It’s disrupting the ways we traditionally learn and learning systems and substituting it with experiential ways of searching for information and using it in the process of learning. With llifelong learning I’m not limiting ourselves only to learning new tools, programs, vocational training. It’s really important not to forget a the big dimension of developing empathy, acceptance of different views, lifestyles, understanding the world, sharing your opinions in a civil manner which can be essential for educating our students on behaviours that can help navigate online worlds and Social Media. Especially Social Media that is more 2D that real life, sometimes words and posts lacking the context, the tone, the additional information.
Step 4: Let Them Be Heard — You’re Not The Coolest Tool In The Shed
Times they are changing — being the only point of knowledge or authority is changing. I’ve grown up in times where we — students listened and teachers, professors — educated. Basically that was the cycle and most of my learning was done by lessons ex-cathedra. Now the tables have turned and digitally connected world not only opened access to education, but made information accessible via different channels. Students now have a vast array of possibilities to soak up knowledge and even more — to access different kinds of content that aligns to the CX they prefer. From my classroom experience — they fall asleep with PPT and lighten up with videos or graphics. And they light up even more when they get the opportunity to present where they found specific content and what ideas it sparked in them. The other really important perception that’s crumbling to pieces is the “illusion of perfection” — having everything figured out or knowing all the answers. Students don’t have a problem trying out new tools, technology or UX, still many times educators fear saying “I don’t know”, “Let me check that out”, “Interesting to learn this”, “That’s new for me”. There might be different reasons, but mostly, it’s feared to seem incompetent or stop being the sole source of education we could provide students.
Step 5: Be In The Know
The sentence I hear at least once a week in school from professors or teachers is: “I don’t use Social Media, I only have Facebook to keep up with my friends. All other things are a mystery for me”. That’s fair enough, yet being in the know doesn’t mean that every educator needs to be on track with all the trends, news and channels, but it does mean we educate ourselves on where to find information, tools, communities and materials if we need them. We know where to look or where to reach out if the situation occurs. “Being In The Know” means we’re not clueless about the world out there, but we do spare some of the time and intention on adopting new skills and learnings and look outside the traditional channels or means of learning new things. Digitally connected world offers so much variety — you can get in touch or reach out to speakers, educators, specialists, authors and creators in your field, no matter the distance or travel — and this is the add value that can work for you, not against you.
I know I work in the field of Social Media and Digital channels, but truthfully every time I learn something new from my students — I go check out every Youtuber or IG account, game, app, video they mention. I could say this was a waste of time or it’s not related to the studies but in the long-term, it is. It tells me a lot about their values, views, interests and how they use their experiences (in a negative of positive way) in their real life.
Lastly… Digital Spaces Foster Transparency But Need More Responsibility
This is a big mountain to climb ahead of us. My students would say — “easy, peasy, it’s like Words hurt — Think before you post — right?”? Well, ideally,….sure. On the other hand we’re all stuck in this duality spiral. We know what is right, what should /shouldn’t be done, yet are constantly triggered, bombarded and presented with the opposite behaviour, especially online.
More responsibility does not relate only to knowing right from wrong, but for me, as an educator, it boils down to empathy, integrity and responsibility (towards myself and others). It’s not only becoming very important educate my students to understand why all actions have consequences (and that there ain’t no “magic fairy” or hacker that can erase anything into oblivion, like it never left any trace on the Internet) today, tomorrow and in years to come. What I decide to do (right or wrong) will have consequences that sometimes can not be undone. Since I’m a big fan of Depeche Mode — empathy sounds like “try walking in my shoes” and do the right thing, even if nobody is watching or you won’t get caught / reprimanded. Eventhough it can be unpopular or it’s not a big deal (from my point of view) but it can speak volumes for somebody else. Integrity and responsibility are the two important values that drive our behaviours and will in the long-run distinguish us from others. From what I’ve seen and learnt working with students, we need to empower them (despite all the contrary examples they see online every single day) to become mindful of how every single thing we do online becomes part of our digital footprint, even more, how things can look, sounds, appear differently online to real world. Empower thinking and discussing different cases and situations to understand why even small acts like liking, commenting or sharing something can be “ROFL” funny to me, but devastating for somebody else. Debating and understanding why taking a stand, speaking up respectfully or supporting and giving voice (when everyone around you is silent) can be life-changing and could have an effect we’ve not anticipated before. Also, why the importance of respecting people’s privacy is high on the list, for a reason, especially when it comes to — circling back to the beginning — screening, screenshots, harrassment and other ways of overstepping boundaries.
Thank you for reading this. Feel free to share, comment and spread the word. What matters most is that “we walk the talk” together, whatever we do or wherever we go.
Zala Bricelj is a digital strategist, storyteller and content creator. She supports, empowers and helps individuals, companies and teams to successfully position themselves online, on Social Media and on the overall Digital Map. As a part of Safe.si team she teaches and demonstrates Safer Internet Usage, with focus on Internet Security & Privacy Activities & (Prevention of) Cyberbullying and Online Harassment when using internet and mobile technology in all age groups — pre-school children, teenagers and adults. She carries out workshops in Slovene schools & educational organizations. Technology-wise she is an early adopter, a dedicated advocate of digital transformation and MOOCs. She’s active in NLP — certified NLP practitioner and NLP Master Coach. Her work focuses on including mindfulness into marketing, teaching and coaching. You can always connect tweeting @ZalkaB — she’s a TwitterChat aficionado and loves conversation
