Music is now a part of who I am
How did I find a connection with music? When did it all begin? Those are questions I really can’t answer, at least not with a definite response, because ever since I have memory I have always enjoyed music one way or another.
First it was all influenced by what was trending on the radio and what my sister (5 years older than me) was listening to, from Britney Spears to the Backstreet Boys (sorry, NSYNC). Back in that time my connection with music was about sharing with my sister, enjoying the songs, singing (or trying to) and even dancing to them. There was not a deep meaning behind it.
Then high school came and a world of possibilities opened up in front of me because of my age and more freedom; I remember clearly when at 2007 I heard Paramore songs for the first time. This was a turning point in my entire life, because since then they have been my favorite band. I don’t exactly remember what it felt like for me besides excitement and surprise, but the fact that I was starting to listen to some rock influenced songs with these guitar riffs and a female fronted band made all the difference in what was going to be my future towards music likes and actual life.
What made the entire connection different though, was the fact that for the first time I was actually understanding and making the lyrics my own, I was feeling them. Paramore have always been so honest about what they write about, and I for once started to feel like I had a more understanding company by my side.
Years later, back in 2012, was when I really started to embrace music entirely as a way for me to both escape and face reality. Music is the best thing I turn to when I need to cry my eyes out because I am feeling hopeless and need to feel it, but also get a last hope; and it is also the place where I feel the most myself, enjoying, free and expressive.
This could be sort of ironic, my biggest frustration has always been that this universe, God or destiny (whatever you believe in) gave me the soul of a concert performer as a singer, but forgot to give me the voice to be able to sing. Some day I hope to learn to play drums, at least, but I have found that music has actually trascended those limitations and has inspired me to be more creative towards my audiovisual profession and passion. Now, almost every time I am going to take a photo or write something fictional, I do it because I was inspired by a song or because a song that describes my life at the moment is stuck in my head.
Music has helped me heal wounds and take them as a part of myself, it has helped me feel less alone and more understood, it has helped me connect with people, it has made me remember hope when I felt like there was none... Music is powerful and now it’s a part of who I am.
