We Can’t All Like Kids
Growing up with a big family allowed me to always have a sibling whom I could play with, fight with, and confide with. I had two older brothers and a younger sister and I loved playing with all of them and I looked up to my two older brothers. I don’t remember a lot of our time in Mexico since we were so young when we moved to the United States but the memories I do have are mostly enjoyable. I remember playing in the mud with my younger sister and eating apples with my brothers. I remember sitting around our living room watching television with them and playing in the yard as well. The few things I remember are simple and fun. Of course all of that changed when my mother had my younger brother and two more younger sisters.
I was expected to grow up a lot sooner than kids my age because being the oldest sister I was given certain responsibilities. These responsibilities were centered around taking care of my younger siblings. From an early age I was given the chore of preparing baby bottles, changing diapers, and helping my baby brother or sister take naps. When they got older my chores increased to cooking, washing, and bathing them. I was given a role of a mother that I was not ready for and frankly I never wanted or liked. My siblings eventually grew to an age that no longer required me cook, wash, or bath but I was given a different set of chores for their new age.
When they were in middle and high school I was expected to drive them to and from school, take them to appointments, and even go as far as to meet with their teachers. Since at that time I had a job and was able to drive I was given the task of making sure they were ready for school, took them to school, to baseball practice, friend’s houses, and even had to occasionally meet with teachers when they were having trouble. I helped with homework and they would always come to me with any questions they might have about pretty much anything.
I am not saying that I didn’t enjoy helping my siblings out or that I resent having to do a lot for them. I completely love and cherish every moment of growing up with them. My responsibilities came from my parents because that is a Hispanic custom that we have. The older children always take on the role of a second parent in order to assist the house hold. I don’t agree on a lot of the things that my parents had me do because well I was still a child myself. I understand that as Mexicans my parents have different views on life and the customs or traditions that we have. They grew up with the same situations and roles that they intended to pass down on their children. They saw no harm in having me do so much and accepted it as part of life.
I on the other hand have felt deeply affected by having to take on a role of a parent that I was not ready for. I don’t resent my parents but I do remember rebelling a lot to our so called traditions. I recall telling both of my parents that is was unfair to expect so much from me. This of course was always overlooked because they had done the same thing when they were my age. They had helped take care of their younger siblings and saw no harm in having me do the same. None of my other siblings had to do as much as I did and they weren’t given a role to fill like I was. A role that many people have been asking me about lately.
Many of my coworkers and friends have asked me about my thoughts in being a mother. When I tell them that I don’t want to have kids they always say that I will change my mind and eventually want to have them. First of all I feel as though I have done a pretty good job of “mothering” when it came to taking care of my siblings. I get that taking care of kids is not the same as having your own kids but I feel that I have had my share of anything that has to do with kids for the rest of my life. I just don’t like kids and since I was sixteen I decided that I would never have kids of my own. We can’t all like them and I personally find it rude when someone tells me that I have to have my own kids. I respect those that love everything about kids and having them and taking care of them but I am not one of them.
I love my baby sister and I do a pretty good job of interacting with her but that doesn’t mean that I want kids. There is nothing wrong with kids I know that but for me they a big responsibility that I no longer want to be a part of. I had my fair share when I was just a kid myself and I know that my life will be fine without them.
