Echoes of War and of My Survival
One year ago I left Sudan heartbroken. Today my commitment to my country is unwavering.
When I heard army troops running around our house, their boots hitting the ground and then a huge banging on the door of the house — that was the moment I said if they don’t kill us, now I will flee.
We survived. But the feeling of guilt weighed heavily on me while I was on a bus leaving my home, my neighborhood full of dead bodies scattered along the way. The air was polluted with the smell of the dead bodies. I sat in the bus with tears running down my cheeks while I watched my home fade from sight, heartbroken, scared, and uncertain. Would we ever return?
I will be back soon, I said to myself, it will only be a couple of weeks.
I looked at my exhausted sick mother, my nervous 14-year-old daughter jumping at each sound of shelling and gunfire. I reassured my 5-year-old, sitting on my lap, holding onto my neck and hiding her face in my chest, scared by the gunfire. My husband was sitting in the front seat guiding the bus driver through the area to avoid clashes with the armies in tanks in our neighborhood. Departing now was the best choice for all of us.
April 29 marked one year since my family and I fled Khartoum.
The conflict, which erupted on April 15, 2023, was a surprise to all Sudanese. It primarily started in Khartoum but has expanded to other regions of the country.
Witnessing the harsh reality of a world without water and all the basic needs for survival during the 16 days of conflict I spent in Sudan presented many challenges for me and my family.
But it also brought me back to reality, to the work USAID is doing in Sudan and around the world by providing vulnerable populations access to clean drinking water and basic life-saving assistance.
Witnessing the direct impact of USAID’s efforts created a journey marked by both sorrow and optimism.
Days before the war broke out just over a year ago, I organized and hosted two iftar events to welcome our incoming Mission Director Adam Schmidt. In Ramadan, Muslims fast from sunrise to sunset and break their fast with an iftar meal (breakfast).
Our first event was an iftar hosted by the Nirvana Cultural Center. The center, which USAID has supported, previously inspired soldiers in Darfur to drop their guns and instead pick up books.
The second day was a heartwarming iftar gathering with women tea and coffee sellers from women’s cooperatives that USAID supports. We enjoyed a delightful meal together, surrounded by love and gratitude. These days were truly inspiring, joyful, and fulfilling.
The next day, April 13, I joined the U.S. Embassy’s annual distribution of 1,000 iftar meals on the streets of Khartoum, rushing to provide food and water to everyone passing by. The day ended peacefully as we sat together, tired but content knowing that we had helped many. As we said our goodbyes, wishing each other a pleasant weekend and looking forward to meeting again to start the next work week on Sunday, April 16, little did we anticipate the sorrow that awaited.
On the morning of April 15, our peace was shattered by continuous phone calls and the terrifying noise of gunfire and bombings that forced us to quickly seek shelter on the floor with our children.
Being on the ground during the war in Khartoum was a terrifying experience. I called all the women tea sellers we worked with that week, making sure they were safe and asking if they needed anything — but I had nothing at that moment to support them except words of courage and comfort.
I was pushing aside my pain for my country, trying to be strong and work harder to make a positive change in the lives of those affected by the conflict. I collaborated with Sudanese colleagues to facilitate self-evacuations. Working together, we managed to find a way out.
Learning how USAID’s assistance to the people of Sudan was helping individuals and communities despite the brutal war was a source of strength for me. Youth and women who were part of USAID’s projects in Sudan were now supporting civilians fleeing their homes to neighboring states, utilizing all the knowledge our partners had provided in many training sessions — from trauma healing sessions to first aid to transitioning to safety. They also provided clean water, food, and shelter to those in need.
That’s what USAID is about.
I never thought I would one day be displaced and cross country borders by foot to find safety. I too was a beneficiary the moment I crossed into Ethiopia, where we were quickly welcomed by USAID implementing partner IOM. Their staff immediately led us to a tent, gave us a place to sit, and provided us with water and medical checkups.
Tears of fear and mixed emotions were running down our faces. Seeing the resilience and strength of my people, young and old, taught me valuable lessons in empathy, persistence, and unity.
Despite challenges and setbacks, USAID’s work in Sudan continues. USAID’s Sudanese staff have been carrying out their work remotely from other countries with unwavering commitment to ensure the Agency’s programming continues.
One of our partners, the G-Artistic organization, has been supporting reception committees and emergency rooms that assist people displaced from Khartoum. The group is now preparing activities focused on the psycho-social care of displaced children with a focus on art and healing. At great risk, another partner has launched a “No War” campaign to rally citizens to combat violence.
USAID’s commitment to providing humanitarian assistance to those in need, rebuilding communities, fostering stability, and promoting development remains unwavering, reflecting a shared belief in the possibility of a brighter future for the people of Sudan.
About the Author
Nimat Nurein is the Development Outreach and Communications Specialist at USAID’s Mission in Sudan.
