If Pollinators Had Dating Profiles

Joanna Gilkeson/USFWS

Pollinators, such as most bees, butterflies, birds, other insects and bats, play a crucial role in flowering plant reproduction and in the production of most fruits and vegetables. But to pollinate successfully, they have to have healthy populations to do so. That’s why, it may just be time for pollinators to jump onto the online dating scene (cough*Bumble*). If they had dating profiles, they may look something like this…

Monarch Butterfly

Tom Koerner/USFWS

Monarch Butterfly
Occupation:
Travel Agent

Hometown: Milkweed, USA

About: Travel is life!! I spend winters in Mexico or California. I’m looking for someone not afraid of crowds, traveling long distances or birds. In search of (ISO) someone real — no viceroys pls. Hit me up if you want epic adventure and are comfortable navigating the monarch highway.


Rufous Hummingbird

Peter Pearsall/USFWS

Rufous Hummingbird
Occupation: Florist

Hometown: Columbine

About: This is my first time on a pollinator site, my heart’s beating as fast as my wings! I spend a lot of time out in the garden and have been called feisty more than once! I love a stroll in a flower-filled park or backyard. Favorite colors are red, yellow and orange. Looking for someone who’s willing to go the distance.


White-Lined Sphinx Moth

Tom Koerner/USFWS

White-lined Sphinx Moth 
Occupation: Make-up Artist

Hometown: Larkspur, Thistle, Columbine, I bounce around!

About: I’m easy-going and totally spontaneous. Wanna stay out and party until dawn? I’m in! Want to spend a sunny afternoon traveling from watering hole to watering hole? You can count on me for that too. I’m sometimes mistaken for a hummingbird, but I’m all moth baby! ISO someone to hover with me and taste all the flowers life has to offer.


Pallid Bat

Ann Froschauer/USFWS

Pallid Bat 
Occupation:
Pilot

Hometown: Western Desert

About: I may seem hardcore — I mean, it’s not everyday you meet someone who eats scorpions for lunch. But get to know me and you’ll see my softer side. Looking for someone who isn’t afraid to try new things- one night we might chow down on a huge centipede, the next night a delicate vegetarian feast at my favorite cactus flower… Must enjoy sleeping in late (like… till sunset), and not afraid of caves.


Sweat Bee

Augochlora Sweat Bee on Fleabane by John Flannery (CC BY-SA 2.0)

Sweat Bee
Occupation: Personal Trainer

Hometown: Rotting log

About: It’s no mistake my idea of a perfect day is puttering in the garden, collecting and storing pollen, and working on house projects. I’m a bit of an introvert, but that doesn’t mean I don’t know how to have a good time. When I’m not listening to Bee-yonce, I’m playing rugbee. I’m interested in going on a few casual dates, and not looking for a long-term commitment.


Honey Bee

Joanna Gilkeson/USFWS

Honey Bee
Occupation:
Singer

Hometown: Of European Descent

About: I’m a bee looking for a bae. I get a buzz from being active — I mean, I’m responsible for a ton of pollination in this country! I need someone who’s down to visit a range of flowers and who is willing to help out around the hive. I’m pretty colony-oriented (I’ll do anything for them) and consider myself a provider — looking for someone who is down with that. Mess with me and you’ll get stung.


Karner Blue Butterfly

Joel Trick/USFWS

Karner Blue Butterfly
Occupation:
Chef

Hometown:Within 1000 ft of Wild Lupine

About: Spring generation, single male. Don’t let the silvery streaks fool you, I’m fresh out of the caterpillar stage. Looking for a woman that lives in the moment. Life is short, let’s spend the 3–5 days of it together. No spiders or beetles pls. Home-body, I don’t travel. Been known to taste test 41 different flowers in one day.


Tachinid Fly

Tachinid Fly by Judy Gallagher

Tachinid Fly
Occupation:
Pest control

Hometown: Wherever all the other bugs be at, stanky places

About: Don’t just go for a pollinator with the good looks, I know a good time. Wanna take down some grasshoppers, I’m your girl. ISO a beetle, moth or butterfly to attach my eggs to (larvae will work fine too).


Quino Checkerspot Butterfly

Andrew Fisher/USFWS Volunteer Photographer

Quino Checkerspot Butterfly
Occupation:
Model

Hometown: Ground Pinks, San Diego and Riverside Counties, California

About: I’m a rare breed, so take notice gents. There used to be a lot of me, but my home has gone away and fires have wiped out my family <smh>. TBH, I am going to need a man that can continue my good genes and modeling talents. I like things pretty hot … can you keep up with me?
Meet me out in the coastal sage scrub and show me some new nectar flowers because this girl needs a change of scenery!


Let’s Help Pollinators Find One Another

Authors: Danielle Brigida, Abra Zobel, Ann Fro, Lisa Cox, and Leah Hawthorne. 
National Digital Strategy Team, U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service