I recently listened to a podcast episode of Ask John Piper called “How do I Pray from the Misery of my Sin?”. It wasn’t that I was an avid listener of that podcast (or any podcast for that matter, please recommend me some), but I was seeking answers for approaching our Holy Creator in the midst of my sin. God is so unfathomably great, gracious, and merciful. As Christians, we know this to be true no matter what we do or who we are but perhaps, like me, you have had moments where neither your mind nor heart could convince you it was true.
We are still called to acknowledge how dead we are in our sin and to actively repent and strive for holiness, but I hope this piece serves as an encouragement for those that struggle to approach the throne of God because they feel that they’ve sinned “too much” or that God could not love them in their sin.
“Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. ” (Galatians 5:24)
The Cycle of Sin
I’ve struggled with a particular habitual sin for a long time that I can’t seem to break out of. I’ve questioned my salvation and my standing with God for so many years because of it and I still struggle to this day. This piece isn’t about me but perhaps I can connect with those that may be going through something similar. Every time I fail and give in to temptation and sin, I truly feel like I’m no longer worthy of God’s love. One might say, “Oh, just repent and go to God in prayer. He will forgive you”. But how can He forgive me when it’s the 2nd, 3rd, or 4th time in the week that I’ve approached Him asking for forgiveness in a cycle that feels like it will never break? A voice in my head tells me to not even approach God because my repentance surely must be fake if I end up sinning again that week anyways. There is always a shame and burden I carry whenever I serve because how can I love God and stand in front of people telling them to love Him as well if I am so broken? How could I approach the throne of an Almighty God and stand in His presence as a sinner? What does it look like to be a Christian and fail constantly no matter how hard I try?
This is the beauty of the Gospel. Good news was given to broken people that couldn’t save themselves even if they wanted to. The devil loves to tell us lies that stop us from enjoying the grace of Christ that we already have because of the Gospel! Guilt is a feeling I know all too well. It makes you feel unworthy, shameful, undeserving and convinces you that you should be removed from God’s presence and closeness. These feelings do not come from God if your only response is to move further away. We should instead be driven to repentance and a realization that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. We should live in freedom because His mercy isn’t just something that makes us feel good, it’s a truth that should stir in us a desire to serve God, pursue Him and enjoy who He is.
Let me reiterate what Scripture tells us that breaks down the lies the devil likes to tell us.
1. We are not called to be perfect before coming to God
“If you, Lord, kept a record of sins, Lord, who could stand? But with you, there is forgiveness, so that we can, with reverence, serve you.” (Psalm 130:3–4)
If God kept a record of all our sins and held us to it in this life, we would all be doomed. We could never be perfect in this life. The psalmist recognizes that he could not approach God without His forgiveness. We know the verse, “For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God” (Romans 3:23), but it continues on to say “and are justified by his grace as a gift, through the redemption that is Christ Jesus.” (Romans 3:24). We don’t need to be perfect to approach the throne of God because we could never be, but the cross justifies us to stand before Christ in a right relationship. We are forgiven so that we can love and serve God. We don’t earn God’s love through our works and even in our sin, Scripture tells us that we are justified by our faith. If you feel like you’re not good enough… that’s kind of the point. We aren’t good enough. We could never be good enough in the sight of a Holy and Perfect God. But, Jesus is. Jesus, the Holy, Perfect, and Good sacrifice that took our place so that we could approach God’s throne and His righteousness. Go to God in your messiness and brokenness. Accept the gift of grace and forgiveness so that you can serve God and pursue Him wholeheartedly.
2. The work of the cross has already freed and forgiven us
“It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery.” (Galatians 5:1)
I’ve held on to this verse many times before because of the simple command to stand firm. Jesus’ death and resurrection is a display of His victory over death but also a reminder that the battle has already been won. Though it may feel like a constant battle or war, it should be an encouragement to us and a reminder that Christ died to rescue us from our sin. We would lose every time if not for the power of Christ and His sacrifice. “Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit who gives life has set you free from the law of sin and death. For what the law was powerless to do because it was weakened by the flesh, God did by sending his own Son in the likeness of sinful flesh to be a sin offering. And so he condemned sin in the flesh, in order that the righteous requirement of the law might be fully met in us, who do not live according to the flesh but according to the Spirit.” (Romans 8:1–4) As Paul reminds us in Romans, our flesh could not set us free from the bounds of sin. But Christ can and has already done so. Jesus died so that we can live in the freedom He promised us.
3. God is faithful to His people despite our sin
Nehemiah 9 is a prayer from the Levites residing in Nehemiah in the midst of their distress caused by the sin of the people. In the podcast, John Piper mentions that it’s the most thorough retelling of the Old Testament events in the Old Testament. Not only is it a reminder of everything that has happened, but it also points to God’s faithfulness despite the sin of His people. God led the Israelites out of Egypt and freed them from slavery, and they have the audacity to grumble and even worship idols! But as the chapter points out, God did not abandon them. He did not say that their sin was too great for His mercy and love. Though they disobeyed Him at every turn and some might even say that they brought their distress on themselves because of their sin, it did not disqualify them from God’s mercy time and time again. There was a pattern of repetitive sin which did bring worldly consequences no doubt, but the cries of God’s people were never left unheard. Neither will your cries be. Though you might think your prayers and repentance are rendered pointless if you sin again later that week, know that God will not turn His face from you. And to think that you can hide from God! Even if you don’t go to Him in your distress or sin, he already knows your sin and your heart. Go to him earnestly and know that His grace is sufficient.
To paraphrase John Piper in his sermon from that podcast episode, to think that your sin is too much for grace is to belittle the cross and the work of Christ. It’s exalting your sin and your brokenness over God’s mercy, love, and power. We have been set free from the bounds of sin and death through the resurrection of Christ. In light of such a hope, even our greatest shame can be washed away. Yet while the guilt may fade, the seriousness of sin never does. It has real impacts and consequences in our day-to-day life and it is important that we still actively put to death our fleshly desires each day and turn to God. He is greater than the sin that you think rules your life and there is hope and freedom because of the promises found in His Word.
“But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.” (2 Corinthians 12:9)
Take a listen/read to the podcast episode that encouraged me: https://www.desiringgod.org/interviews/how-do-i-pray-from-the-misery-of-my-sin
