What would you do if you could set the world on fire? Not that you would want to, but what if you could? What if you had enough firepower to light up the skies and scorch the earth — with the move of a muscle? What would you do with all that power?
As it turns out, you actually do have such a capacity for destruction. Each one of us do. By the words of your mouth, you have the power to set a fire that no water can put out. While many people may not realize it, the tongue that we wield on the daily is a deadly weapon in the likeness of a nuclear bomb. You could release it with the simple push of a button, or the sound of your voice, yet what follows has the potential to leave lasting damage for years to come. You might never know how much impact your words may have, but once they leave your lips, they can never be taken back.
The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit. — Proverbs 18:21
The tongue is a fire, a world of unrighteousness. The tongue is set among our members, staining the whole body, setting on fire the entire course of life, and set on fire by hell. For every kind of beast and bird, of reptile and sea creature, can be tamed and has been tamed by mankind, but no human being can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison. — James 3:6–8
The mouths of fools are their undoing, and their lips are a snare to their very lives. — Proverbs 18:6–7
“With great power, comes great responsibility” — Uncle Ben
Far Deadlier Than Sticks and Stones
More than a few times now, I have heard others in the fellowship give the same lamenting groan. “There’s so much gossip in CCF.” Some of these were upper years, saddened by the reality but pessimistic about seeing any change. Others were younger years, newcomers, taken aback by how a community that proclaims to be Christian could be so loose-lipped and foul-mouthed.
Off the top of my head, I can think of a few relationships that were once close, but will never be the same — all because of a few careless words. I can painfully and achingly recall how much of a stumbling block gossip has brought to some of my dearest friends. Over the past few years, it’s scary to imagine how much damage gossip has caused — how deeply hearts have been wounded, and trusts shattered. Compared to sticks and stones, which may break your bones, gossip might just break your heart.
For a fellowship like ours, gossip looms over us as a Goliath-sized foe. Whereas direct insults may have slain its thousands, gossip has surely slain its tens of thousands. But just like David, we need to stand up against this enemy of God and fight for the sake of our blood-bought family. We need to put a stop to gossip and put it to death, lest it continues to slay our people and belittle our God.
The Art of War: Know Thy Enemy
In order to fight wisely and secure victory, we need to first understand our foe. Sadly, when it comes to gossip, most people are unclear on what it really is. Is it limited to telling lies about people behind their backs? What about sharing someone’s secret without their permission? Are you safe to say whatever you want as long as it’s true or not a secret? What really is gossip? And more importantly, why is gossip a sin that God detests? Here’s what the Bible tells us.
A good name is to be chosen rather than great riches, and favor is better than silver or gold. — Proverbs 22:1
Brothers and sisters, do not slander one another. Anyone who speaks against a brother or sister or judges them speaks against the law and judges it. — James 4:11
With their mouths the godless destroy their neighbors, but through knowledge the righteous escape. — Proverbs 11:9
A person’s reputation is worth its weight in gold. Actually, that’s not true. According to the Bible, one’s reputation is far more valuable than even great riches. Ten times out of ten, you should choose “street cred” over wealth. In other words, if you had to pick between a malicious gossiper or a serial thief to spend time around, God’s wisdom would have you choose the thief. Why? Because he is far less dangerous to you. Whereas the thief can potentially rid you of your possessions, the wicked in tongue has the potential to destroy you. The gossiper tears down and robs that which money can’t buy — trust, and a good name. The slanderer attacks not your currency, but your relationships.
A perverse person stirs up conflict, and a gossip separates close friends. — Proverbs 16:28
A gossip betrays a confidence; so avoid anyone who talks too much. — Proverbs 20:19
Whoever conceals hatred with lying lips and spreads slander is a fool. — Proverbs 10:18
The Lord hates…a lying tongue… a heart that devises wicked plans, feet that make haste to run to evil, a false witness who breathes out lies, and one who sows discord among brothers. — Proverbs 6:16–19
A gossiper or slanderer is one who tarnishes another’s reputation and brings them down in the perceptions of others. They are the vandalizers of another’s social standing, with their assault being on their very character and identity. The only difference between the two is that a slanderer tells lies to do so, while a gossiper tells truth. Oftentimes, this can even be done unintentionally or in a joking manner, with no less damage being done. Phrases like “I thought you should know that…”, “Could you pray for…”, or “I’m just concerned about…” can seem harmless enough, but so is a spark moments before it sets a house ablaze. So watch where you spill the tea — some stains never go away.
Do not go about spreading slander among your people. Do not do anything that endangers your neighbor’s life. I am the LORD. Do not hate a fellow Israelite in your heart. Rebuke your neighbor frankly so you will not share in their guilt. — Leviticus 19:16–17
Keep your tongue from evil and your lips from telling lies. — Psalm 34:13
The words of a gossip are like choice morsels; they go down to the inmost parts. — Proverbs 18:8
The Heart of Gossip
At the heart of it, the evil behind gossip is no accident. While some people blame a slip of the tongue on a lack of caution, it only takes so many accidents until one starts to suspect that something more sinister is at play. With so many warnings in the Bible to guard one’s tongue and speech, it’s not surprising that the words we share carry moral implications. After all, the faultiness of our lips comes not from physical or mental origins, but from an inner spiritual malady. Jesus identifies our issue with words as one stemming from the heart.
It is not what goes into the mouth that defiles a person, but what comes out of the mouth; this defiles a person — Matthew 15:11
For the mouth speaks what the heart is full of. A good man brings good things out of the good stored up in him, and an evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in him. But I tell you that everyone will have to give account on the day of judgment for every empty word they have spoken. For by your words you will be acquitted, and by your words you will be condemned. — Matthew 12:34–37
Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it. Keep your mouth free of perversity; keep corrupt talk far from your lips. — Proverbs 4:23–24
The heart of gossip is a lack of love. That is why gossip and slander exist. They come from a corruption in the heart that does not want the best for others. Instead of seeking to protect or honour the reputation of a fellow neighbour, the corrupt heart is after personal gain, whether that be in the form of entertainment or the prize of partiality. This is why some people like to live in and speak of businesses not their own, or “warn” their friends about a certain individual. Ultimately, a lack of love is what defiles oneself and sets one against God, who is love. A heart that lacks love is a dangerous sign. It’s a sign of the unregenerate soul.
Those who live according to the flesh have their minds set on what the flesh desires; but those who live in accordance with the Spirit have their minds set on what the Spirit desires. — Romans 8:5
Those who consider themselves religious and yet do not keep a tight rein on their tongues deceive themselves, and their religion is worthless. — James 1:26
If anyone says, “I love God,” and hates his brother, he is a liar; for he who does not love his brother whom he has seen cannot love God whom he has not seen. — 1 John 4:20
We Must Be Like Him, Or We Will Never Be With Him
Unclean lips are signs of an unclean heart. On judgement day, the gossiper and slanderer will be cast from the presence of God, being deemed unworthy to enter heaven. After all, God hates those with evil hearts and will not tolerate their presence in His house. The only hope for them is to repent and beg for mercy. Only by running to Jesus, can one find the grace needed for the forgiveness of sins and the renewal of the heart. If you struggle with gossip, then you need to run to Jesus like Isaiah, crying “Woe to me!…I am ruined! For I am a man of unclean lips, and I live among a people of unclean lips” (Isaiah 6:5). Run to Him, for He is willing and able to help.
For you are not a God who delights in wickedness; evil may not dwell with you. — Psalm 5:4
With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse human beings, who have been made in God’s likeness. Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers and sisters, this should not be. — James 3:9–10
If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. — 1 John 1:9
If we run to Jesus and seek to truly know Him, then He will undoubtedly cleanse both our hearts and our mouths. His death on our behalf was for that purpose, after all, so that we could know God — being people who are no longer of unclean lips and unclean hearts. Then, after doing a cleansing work in us, He will begin doing a cleansing work through us. He will bring forth a new message from our lips to our neighbours —a message that is characterized by truth in love. As that happens, we will become more and more like Jesus Himself, as people who rightfully belong at His side.
For we all stumble in many ways. And if anyone does not stumble in what he says, he is a perfect man, able also to bridle his whole body. — James 3:2
Dear friends, now we are children of God, and what we will be has not yet been made known. But we know that when Christ appears, we shall be like him, for we shall see him as he is. All who have this hope in him purify themselves, just as he is pure. — 1 John 3:2–3
Choose This Day Whom Your Lips Shall Serve
Once you start to think deeply about this, a lot of pieces might start to come together. Those with corrupt characters and wicked hearts are those who gossip and slander. By the fruit of their selfish desires, they spread hatred and brokenness by bringing news that is harmful to others. These people, characterized as the unregenerate, are really just those who live as sharers of bad news. In contrast, those who are born again and made alive in Christ are those who hate gossip, loving rather to encourage and to give hope. By the fruit of their purified hearts, they bring to those around them good news — news that is good for others to hear. They live as sharers of news filled with love and grace. Where they speak, life, love, and healing follow.
How beautiful on the mountains are the feet of those who bring good news, who proclaim peace, who bring good tidings, who proclaim salvation, who say to Zion, “Your God reigns!” — Isaiah 52:7
Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you. — Ephesians 4:29–32
Which of the two are you? Whom will you have your lips serve? If it is God who you choose, then that means forsaking corrupting speech and putting gossip to death. It means to guard the good name of your neighbours as you would your own, refusing to hear or speak of another in an unloving way. Then, it will be clear to others that Jesus is your Lord when they see you deliberately speaking only as you would have others speak of you.
Whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him. — Colossians 3:17
So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets. — Matthew 7:12
This is how it looks like to “make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace” (Eph 4:3) — by ensuring that our words are helpful before they leave our lips. If we can do this together, then instead of tearing down trust, our words will serve to build it up. When that becomes the case, it won’t just be our relationships with each that will prosper, but our relationship with God will flourish. And as a result, it won’t just be our names that are kept in good honour, but God’s own name that would be glorified and exalted.
