Patience with God
As I look back on my first year of university, it’s definitely been quite the journey. Growing with and witnessing growth in my fellow frosh has been such a blessed sighting, and God has been so powerfully at work. With so many growing in their faith in their first year, I write this as an encouragement to those who don’t seem to be following that trend. I’ve decided to write about two events in my first year hoping that those who haven’t seen as much growth as others may still be encouraged and have hope.
Temptations
Jeremiah 29:11
For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
God can use anything to achieve His sovereign will. He knows His every move for you, and these moves will prosper you in the end. In times where it may be hard to notice Him, this verse reminds us of the hope we have in Him and the future He has promised us. In my case, He used my temptation and desire for earthly rewards to lead me to something better.
On the first CCF, amongst the many announcements, one that particularly caught my attention was campus evangelism. I had never done such a thing, but always had a desire to spread positivity — and what greater positivity was there than the Gospel? Campus evangelism wouldn’t start until the following week’s Saturday though, so as time passed, fear and nerves started to kick in.
However, during the week leading up to the first campus evangelism, I noticed a girl. I also happened to find her in the CCF Discord with the campus evangelism role. So that settled it — I was going to campus evangelism.
Saturday came, and I went to campus evangelism. To my disappointment, she was not there, but disappointment was far from how I felt after campus evangelism. During campus evangelism, I was paired with someone who had truly been transformed by God. The way she spoke about God’s work in her life and her desire to pursue God and evangelize was like nothing I had seen before. The encouragement I got from talking with her was unreal, and I could clearly see God working in her life. If this is how God transforms His people, how much greater is He, the source of the transformation?! I came looking for an earthly treasure, but left seeking a much greater heavenly treasure.
Psalm 27:13–14
I remain confident of this: I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord.
This story marks a very important point in my faith. Like many others, my faith was very weak, almost non-existent coming into university. But somehow God used my temptation, my desire for earthly things to bring me to His love. Among the frosh, it’s common to hear how they have grown so much in their first year, and praise God for that! However, it’s less common to hear people who are struggling with their growth, and my encouragement here is for you. God works in His perfect timing to bring you to His kingdom. Even when you seem to be straying away, like I was, God can still use your seemingly imperfect situation in His perfect plan.
It’s so interesting how I initially had good intentions of going to campus evangelism, but couldn’t make the final leap of faith. But God, who made me and knows me inside out, used a method I couldn’t resist to draw me into the ultimate treasure. God knows all of us, deeply, and is waiting to work in our lives. Remain patient, and keep waiting on the Lord, with full confidence that the goodness of the Lord will show in your lives.
Campus Evangelism
Romans 10:14–15
How, then, can they call on the one they have not believed in? And how can they believe in the one of whom they have not heard? And how can they hear without someone preaching to them? And how can anyone preach unless they are sent? As it is written: “How beautiful are the feet of those who bring good news!”
As a short digression, I wanted to write about my experience in campus evangelism as well. After that week, I kept coming back. I didn’t exactly know why, as I was still scared to talk, but something compelled me to keep going. There was an awe of God in me that I wanted to share, but didn’t know how. But I grew more and more from talking with my campus evangelism partners, occasionally speaking from time to time to strangers. Eventually, I grew the courage and on the last campus evangelism of the F23 term, I led a full conversation with an individual. This was another big moment, as I was able to share the wonder that I had kept in for so long with some random person. Campus evangelism is such a wonderful opportunity to spread the greatest gift of Jesus among those who don’t know, and I encourage everyone reading to go try it at least once.
Doubts
In 1B, I had a time when I struggled with the idea of predestination. I had been praying to grow a desire for God and reading His word, but it just wasn’t coming along. I grew frustrated and wondered if I was just not predestined — so, no matter how hard I tried, it just wouldn’t work out. I had no doubt in my mind that God was real, and Jesus’ resurrection could not have been any more true. However, even demons know this to be true, and I wondered if maybe I was a demon. I felt alone and lost, not knowing what to do. I was also leading frosh cell at the time, and seeing my small group members and fellow frosh cell leaders growing was encouraging and demotivating at the same time. With all the head knowledge I had accumulated, it felt like I was guiding others to a treasure I couldn’t possess.
Eventually, I did reach out, and it helped tremendously. With these thoughts in my head, it was hard for me to find the voice of God. Talking with people who were more mature in their faith, I was greatly comforted by the advice they gave and the words of encouragement. I was also surprised that they too had struggles like these. They guided me and I’m glad to say that my struggles have been greatly diminished.
1 Thessalonians 5:11
Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.
To those struggling with something related to faith, I encourage you to reach out. There are so many people at CCF and at church who have gone through numerous stages of life and faith, and you will find so much comfort and reassurance talking with them. This is what the Christian family is for; faith is a journey to be walked by yourself, together. Mutual encouragement and building each other up are so important, and even though you may be struggling, you’d be surprised at how your story can encourage even those who are more spiritually mature.
To have others around me who care so much for my growth and for me is such a blessing. I could see Jesus’ behaviour exemplified in so many, and sought to have spiritual disciplines like them. To have these people surrounding me is certainly God’s grace, and to spend time with them truly talking heart to heart has greatly advanced me in my growth. So, make the most of what God has blessed you with, and make sure to reach out in times of struggles.
Proverbs 3:5–6
5 Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight
To those struggling with the same thing, the common theme in the advice given to me was to remain patient. The fact that it has been placed in your heart to desire the Lord, and that you are worried about such things is evidence that God’s working in your life. Remain trusting in the Lord, not thinking about the future but rather focus on the present. Pursue Him wholeheartedly and leave worries about predestination behind, and you will find peace and comfort in the Lord. I realized that nothing is in my hands, and everything is in God’s hands. The only thing I could do was to continue praying and continue seeking.
Takeaways
Psalm 139:13
For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
Through these two events, God taught me the importance of patience and trust: patience with myself and God, and trust in His works. Oftentimes, I wanted to take control of things and lead the way with God, but He humbled me greatly. It was as if I put God in the passenger seat, but He showed me that I didn’t know how to drive and needed Him at the wheel. All my efforts of trying to guide my own growth accumulated to nothing, and in my frustration I learned to let go of my urge to control my life. God created me and planned me from before the beginning, and everything was all set. The only thing left for me to do was wait. I just had to simply be patient with my own growth, and keep trusting that God would eventually do His wonderful thing. I encourage those of you who are still seeking to keep seeking, and don’t lose hope. Pursue Him with all your heart, soul and mind.
2 Corinthians 12:9
But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.
This verse rings so true in my life now. God showed me that ultimately, I am so weak. I have so little control over the things that truly matter. But in those moments where I felt helpless, His power was made perfect and brought me out of those times. Without Him, I am nothing at all. So from my reflection, I hope all of you can see God’s power in my times of weakness. He is so so wonderful, and can work in our lives in the most unexpected times. That is what He did for me, and I will forever be grateful for that. All glory be to God.
