When I first came to Waterloo, still less than a year ago, I simultaneously knew everything and nothing about what the next eight months were going to look like. I knew that this would mark a new chapter in my life, and that I was about to experience one of the largest changes in my life so far, but I had no idea what those changes would look like, or what they would mean for who I would become.
Among the many things that have happened since I came to Waterloo, there has been one constant through them all. God has been with me all this way; He sees me through the ups and downs of my life, and I can assure you that He watches over each and every one of us in this way. He picks us up in the lows, and lifts us back up to the highs with His unending love and grace. Even when we don’t see it, God is working in our lives; He has full control of our lives, the events that take place in them, and the changes that accompany them.
God used my first year at Waterloo to teach me many things; it is with the hope of sharing more transparently my walk with God that I humbly present to you some of my learnings from these past eight months.
1. God has a plan for us
My first term was, quite honestly, filled with anxiety. Behind the mask of optimism and humour, there lay a creeping anxiety in my heart throughout my first term in Waterloo. A determination to maintain my perfect grades from high school, and a sureness that co-op placement was hopeless given my program and the timing — all these things got into my head, and I told myself that I was going to dread the upcoming winter term. I expected my second term to be filled with a constant lack of job interviews, a struggle to find housing, and an uphill battle of balancing coursework with co-op searching. However, by the end of reading week in my 1B term, it seemed as if all my problems had been solved. I went from having no clue what the next year would look like — where I would be for co-op, where I would live when I came back — to experiencing the real, concrete plans that God has for me. I blinked for one second, and the next, God Was.
He had opened my eyes to His true power, and the surrealness of it all made me realize that God’s plans can never be clear to us. His plans may not be clear to us, but everything in our lives happens for a reason that only He knows. We have only limited foresight; in contrast, God is all-knowing, and His plans span eternity; this is what makes us imperfect, and God, perfect.
“For I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future” (Jeremiah 29:11 NIV).
2. God gives us everything for a reason
And those reasons may forever remain unknown to us. But trusting in His plan, His provision, and His grace; these are what sustain us as children of God. God provides without our demand, and provides so wholly and completely that we need only surrender to His provision.
In the Fall, He taught me faith; in the Winter, He taught me love.
The second half of my 1B term was a song of thanks to God. He had provided for me so that I could cast aside my anxieties and focus on pouring out love to those around me. I felt completely unburdened by the anxiety I had experienced in my first term. My prayers had been directed from “help me” to “help me help those around me.” I prayed deeply for His plans to be revealed to me; I knew that there must be a reason for Him to give me all these gifts and place me here. God provides for us that we may acknowledge Him and raise up His name, glorifying Him and acting as witnesses to those around us.
When I look back on my Winter term, I see clearly that God was working in my life. Not only by the things He provided me, but how He grew me. He calls us to a life not for ourselves, but for others; a life full not of worldly success, but of holy love. We have been able only to glimpse at the plan He has in store for us, and we know nothing of why He chooses these things for us. But they are all ways to teach us to be more like Him; more loving and caring, focused not on ourselves but on those around us. After all, self-centeredness is of this world, but love is from God.
He gives us love so that we may love others.
“He died for us so that, whether we are awake or asleep, we may live together with him. Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing” (1 Thessalonians 5:10–11 NIV).
3. God works with or without us
But why not meet him halfway?
It may sound cliche, but everything changed when I came to university. Having grown up in the church, my faith may have reached a high in middle school, but ultimately plateaued out around high school, left to run dry by a pandemic that pushed student fellowship and church worship online and further out of reach. Throughout my high school career I often just ran through the motions of life; not only academically, but spiritually, too. I did things because they were the right thing to do, but this left me bored and lost in the world around me. Upon entering Waterloo, however, I suddenly had independence. I could continue to do things because they were “right,” but why should I? Nothing was forcing me to go to CCF every week, yet I came back time after time.
It is by God’s saving grace that we feel compelled to seek Him out. Attending CCF every week showed me that He works in our hearts to draw out the desire for Him. My first week at CCF I was blessed to meet a slew of people who would later attach themselves to me and keep me accountable, keeping me wanting to attend fellowship week after week. Even when I felt somewhat detached from everything happening around me, as if I was once again just going through the motions, I would observe those around me and see how they seek God so earnestly. These were people who had experienced God so closely that they knew the Truth was undeniable; people who, knowing they were saved, only wanted to keep pursuing God. This in itself was God showing me His love. Simply by using those around me, He compelled me to seek Him. This is the gift of fellowship: that God, who is present in everyone and everything, uses these things for our own good; revealing Himself in others around us and encouraging us to seek Him out.
We seek God only because He first seeks us. All the work that we do to draw nearer to Him is only made possible by His will.
“From one man he made all the nations, that they should inhabit the whole earth […] God did this so that they would seek him and perhaps reach out for him and find him, though he is not far from any one of us” (Acts 17:26–27 NIV).
God’s love continues without us, but when we seek Him, we gain the ability to know Him more deeply and personally, and it is by personal experience that God becomes a reality to us. For my part, I will continue to seek God and the truth that He created for us, because it is a reality that I personally want to be made aware of.
4. God never leaves us
Sure, there will be high tides and there will be dry seasons, but through it all we can find God. God is unwavering and unchanging. God is the creator of all, and He gives us everything only so that we may cast it aside and find rest in Him instead. The doubt in our hearts is worldly and comes straight from our own sin. It is not of God’s doing; in fact, God never turns away. When we lose sight of God, it is us who have turned, who have allowed our own priorities to shadow the light that God provides.
“Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change” (James 1:17 ESV).
The power of prayer is undeniable. We are weak, and the best we can do is ask God for strength. When we don’t know what to do, we can ask God for guidance. I have never been the best with prayer; in fact, I am guilty of overlooking prayer even in my times of need. I admit to being a work in progress, and I will strive to strengthen my faith against easy caving, relying more on prayer as a means of seeking God, leaning on Him, and surrendering to His ways. Because God is always there, watching over us, and all we have to do is seek Him out.
“Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you” (1 Thessalonians 5:16–18 ESV).
5. Desire to keep desiring
The beginning of every term at CCF looks something like this: “Tell us your name, program, and share your testimony”. The first two are easy enough, but the third one, to this day, has me scratching my head. Why do I believe? Sure, at home, I went to church because my parents went, but in Waterloo, my parents were 6 hours away. So, why was I still coming to campus fellowship every week? Why did I feel compelled to search for local churches before coming to Waterloo? Why, when no one was there, holding me accountable, did I still feel a broken desire to seek God?
Looking back, my first year of university has really been a sifting-through of beliefs and values to recover the deepest remains of my beliefs and desires; to remember why I believe in the gospel in the first place. While I continue my search, I can tell you this: my faith has, for the most part, been deeply centred around the fact that, without God, I am nothing. I am forever indebted to all that God has done for me: to put me on this earth with the people I can call friends and family, in a world that offers me more than I could ever think to ask for. I present this writing as someone who does not deserve to be here–on this earth, in this school, in this program–because truly God is the only reason I get by in life. Without Him I am a lost sheep, and this past year has only reinforced that. Therefore, I continue to keep seeking after Him, that His plans may become clear to me, that He can grow me and use me in the ways that He knows are best.
“But earnestly desire the higher gifts. And I will show you a still more excellent way” (1 Corinthians 12:31 ESV).
So, while my first year at Waterloo has come to an end, I acknowledge that I still have a lot to learn. God has opened my eyes to His greatness, pushing me to continue seeking ways that I can become closer to Him. He has taught me to never stop seeking Him, for He will always welcome me. And, of course, He showed me that love, for God, for each other, and for ourselves, overcomes all.
“So now faith, hope, and love abide, these three; but the greatest of these is love” (1 Corinthians 13:13 ESV).
You are loved.
