What is this fellowship?
At the beginning of this term, we had a discussion in my DG about who our God is. It was mentioned in one of the chapters of the text we were reading, The Discipleship Book, that our relationship with Him is personal. It meant that our God relates to us individually, hears individual prayers, and saves individual lives. I was inspired by this, and wanted to write about how this too could apply to our fellowship.
For some time, I had been wondering what it meant to make or have fellowship. Some of the more rehearsed members told me to read Acts 2:42–47. It says:
They devoted themselves to the apostles’ teaching and to fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer. Everyone was filled with awe at the many wonders and signs performed by the apostles. All the believers were together and had everything in common. They sold property and possessions to give to anyone who had need. Every day they continued to meet together in the temple courts. They broke bread in their homes and ate together with glad and sincere hearts, praising God and enjoying the favour of all the people. And the Lord added to their number daily those who were being saved.
It was a faultless answer, but I didn’t quite understand it. Much of the time, I learn things by doing and participating in the action. And so, to further grasp this idea, I’ve been going around asking some of you why you come to CCF. I had heard tales of how some people would lose interest, and stop attending events. It seemed like there were some reasons to stop coming, so what were the reasons for coming? Here are some of the answers I got:
· I wanted to connect with people and find a fellowship
· I wanted to strengthen my and other’s faith and watch them grow
· It was the next step on my walk with God
· I wanted more than just surface-level friends, my classmates are just that for schoolwork, but there are always more reasons to grow in Christ
· I wanted to be a mentor for the younger years
· I was asked to, but also because I needed to make sure the fellowship continued next term.
Many of your responses included the idea of community. The answer was simple, but that meant there was a lot to unpack. You hear it said all the time, but what did it mean to connect with others, strengthen your faith, and grow in Christ? For this, I decided to watch what we did. I realized that you could learn a lot about something if you focused your attention, and narrowed in on the right things. Here were some of those things that showed the spirit of our fellowship.
Sharing
In no other place have I been to in my five years at Waterloo have I encountered a place full of people so willing to share. And shared they did, in all aspects. Sometimes it was just what happened during their week, while others it would be very personal, things like times of distress and emotional problems. People would share about their successes, like the excitement at passing their driving test, and failures, like the disappointment in getting a poor grade. It’s this sharing that lets us live in each other's lives, and supposedly why people did it so much. This was just one way people got to connect with each other.
Idiosyncrasy
This is an extension of sharing, and it relates to the idea of being yourself. One of my favourite things that happened whenever I came here was finding out all of the quirky things people do. It happens especially when you least expect it. Some people are internet superstars, some people rap and make music, and some people enjoy black licorice and pineapple pizza. Some people have questionable portraits and symbols in their rooms, and others have large mandala curtains. There are girls who skateboard, and boys who bake. There are collectors of plants, and of credit cards. These are just some of the things I found out about people this term, and it was always an exciting sight to behold. And I noticed, it’s when people discover these other sides, your rough edges, that they become drawn to you. This too is a great way to connect with people, so don’t be afraid to put yourself out there.
Listening
It always surprised me, that some of the more energetic, and high-spirited individuals could go from being just that to attentive and humble. There was always a coordinated effort amongst people, that made the rooms silent and had all eyes cast on the speaker when it came to talks of sharing and study. Carl Rogers is a psychologist who talks about active listening, an idea that says a conversation between two individuals wherein an exchange of truth occurs is said to be curative. You could tell by listening to the way people talked that they were only saying things that came from their hearts. This sharing, combined with a willingness to listen, showed that we wanted to grow together.
Asking
Quite often I’d find myself standing in the middle of the crowd doing this watching thing, only to be greeted by an unfamiliar face who’d strike up a conversation with me, even if it was just the usual icebreakers. These same people would also check in with me every now and then. They’d send out-of-the-blue texts like, “How’s your day going?”, or, “Are you feeling better from being sick?” To the asker, they might think that they’re just giving a kind gesture, but you never know. To the receiver, it might mean the world to them, to know that someone else is thinking about them. I always appreciated the initiative people took to try and engage with each other, as difficult as it could be. It showed that we were willing to risk being hurt if it meant that there was a chance to connect. This demonstrated an act of living faithfully.
Comparison
For those of us Cantonese-speaking members, we’d probably have heard of the term 熱氣 (yeet-hay) from our parents. There isn’t a literal translation of the word, but it means something like unhealthy food or spirit, like eating too much fried food would be 熱氣. The same goes for other words like umami in Japanese, and schadenfreude in German. I was having trouble describing this feeling I had and had noticed in others. It was something like vicarious joy, to be happy for the success of others. It was also unexpected from my personal experience. As a kid, I was often scared of sharing the good things that happened to me with others, because much of the time they would just ignore it, or tell me it wasn’t a big deal. “Be careful who you share good news with,” I was told. But it was the opposite here. Everywhere I looked, there were always cheers and laughter to be had for the joy of others. Compersion, though not an official word, describes just that, the harmonized sharing of the well-being of others. This showed that we were trying to raise each other up, as much as we could.
Conclusion
By watching the things that we did, I was able to learn just a little of what our fellowship is. I saw that it was a place where people came to share, listen, ask, account for, and love each other, in all of the weird ways that we are. I’m glad to have discovered that creating fellowship only required simple things; things that we could all do. Instead of putting ourselves first, fellowshipping required us to use our gifts to serve one another. And in doing this that made each of our own experiences special, and personal, just like our relationship with God.
Looking forward to continuing my walk here, and hope you are too.
