“You’d think because I’m a hypnotist, I can hypnotize you but that is so far from the truth.”— An Interview with Lee McKing
To start off with a simple one for those who might not know, tell us a little about yourself.
Hi, my name is Lee McKing and I’m a hypnotist. My dad idolized an actor called Steve McQueen and decided to name me after him. Since I’m a guy, I was given the name McKing. I like chocolate and the occasional game of chess.
How did you begin your journey with hypnosis? How have things changed for you since then?
It’s a bit of a long story. This is the short version.
It all started when I was 20 years old, and my lungs burst in my sleep. I didn’t know, I only felt breathless as my lung was collapsing. I had to go to school that morning too because I had to deliver a graded presentation. I screwed that up because I couldn’t breathe properly, hence I couldn’t speak properly.
It felt like someone took a knife and stabbed repeatedly into my back as I went to a local doctor before taking a cab to the hospital. The nurse took an X-ray and later brought me to the A&E ward. The doctor there showed my X-ray to me and I was shocked!
My right lung had collapsed to the size of a chicken egg! In that moment of shock, the doctor said, “You will die in the next few days from suffocation or in the next few days when the air will crush your heart unless we do the procedure now.”
I collapsed to the ground, seeing my life regrets as well as my life flashing before my eyes. I was crying and weeping terribly too.
I didn’t realize then and only realized much later, that the above experience was a trauma. And my unconscious mind linked this trauma to the presentation earlier. So for the next 2.5 years in polytechnic, after every single presentation, I will have an emotional, mental, physical breakdown. I will run to the toilet with this intense fear, collapsing onto the sink, my tears, mucus, and saliva will flow like a waterfall. And as I saw my pathetic self in the mirror, I thought, “since when I have such severe stage fright?”
I subsequently fell into depression and had suicidal thoughts too.
A couple of years after graduation from the polytechnic (I was afraid of breaking down in university so I didn’t go to university), I learned about something called Neuro-Linguistic Programming or NLP for short. This Australian school was training in NLP and specifically mentioned holistic health techniques, which got me curious because I wanted to focus on health at that time.
I did the Basic Practitioner course with them, and that’s when I realized my “severe stage fright” was really Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, and that it can be cured. I saw hope.
And so I did the Master Practitioner of NLP course with them too, and it was the most emotional and healing experience for me. It was also this course that opened the doors of hypnosis to me and made me curious about it.
A couple of months after, I received an email about a German hypnosis trainer who is coming to Singapore to train the concepts of principles of hypnosis and I signed up for it.
After that, I began healing my mind with a combination of NLP and hypnosis. After healing my PTSD, depression, anxiety, etc, I helped a few people here and there to resolve the fear of public speaking or to handle grief and anger. And this made me realize that I got a unique set of hypnosis skills and that I can help people.
So I started to work on myself more, to resolve my business and money beliefs. And then I started my professional practice about 4.5 years ago now.
Compared to the old me, my classmates have noted that I have changed so much. I’m no longer the introvert who prefers to be by myself. Add the fact that I’ve resolved my PTSD, so I can share and present my ideas about hypnosis to schools and companies, things have been exciting!
Naturally, being an entrepreneur allows me to have a work-life balance too, with more emphasis on life, since after all, I nearly died before.
How do you define hypnotism today? How can people benefit from it?
Most people think that hypnosis is, “because I’m a hypnotist, I can hypnotize you” but that is so far from the truth.
Hypnosis to me is how our mind works. And honestly, we can be hypnotized by our friends, family, and we are even performing self-hypnosis on ourselves without knowing it!
Briefly, there is a conscious mind and an unconscious mind, and I like to use a computer as a metaphor here. The conscious mind is like the mouse while the unconscious mind is like the CPU. Your unconscious mind stores all the information, the memories, whereas your conscious mind will have to open the folders and files to retrieve a memory (so if you open the wrong folder, then you “forgot something”, but actually, it’s more of you cannot find it at that time).
Anyway, unfortunately, as you browse on the internet, you might pick up viruses, or the old programs you had like Word or an old game might develop bugs and issues. This is similar to how our mind works. The old programs that you learned as a child might no longer be useful as an adult, and might even cause more problems. And your friends, family, etc (the internet) might accidentally say certain things, whether it is a negative mindset or belief that hurt you unconsciously (the viruses from the internet). The self-hypnosis portion is when you know the game has a bug and you still play it without updating the software, or you know the website has a virus and you still enter it, in this manner, you continue to perform, do or say the negative stuff to yourself, which enhance the negative aspects.
Once you realize this, you can then begin to change, but only if you want to, of course. I cannot hypnotize you without you wanting to, and similarly, you cannot change unless you want to change and heal. So the moment you realize you got a bad program running, and you want to change it, you might read self-help books, or you do reflections, you might even attend courses for personal development or see a therapist or coach.
My suggestion is to work on the unconscious level because that’s where the greatest change can happen.
Is there any specific area of hypnotism you are working on? What was the inspiration behind it?
My specialty is mental health, partly because I’ve been through it myself. Having gone through PTSD, depression, and anxiety allows me to understand my clients with these issues better, and once they find that we are both on the same wavelength, it’s easier to help them to heal.
On occasion, I do get other requests to heal other types of issues such as relationship issues, money issues, and even some physical health ailments. This is because there is a mind-body connection and when you heal the mind, you can potentially heal the body too.
What’s been your highlight of 2019 so far?
To be honest, having a girlfriend! It’s been an amazing beautiful relationship for me.
Here’s a quick back story. So my parents told me when I was very young, “You cannot have a girlfriend until you enter university”, and this form a relationship belief in my mind. The funny thing, I didn’t go to university due to my PTSD, hence, I never had a girlfriend!
And on my 27th birthday, I was wondering, why I didn’t have a girlfriend, why do I always seem to mess things up, etc. And that’s when I realize because of that relationship belief! Until I enter university, my unconscious mind couldn’t allow me to have a girlfriend and will create situations or circumstances to mess things up. This range from having negative thinking like, “she is too good for me”, “she wouldn’t want someone like me”, “I cannot find anyone” etc
So when I realize this at age 27 (yes, completely single for 27 years of my life), I removed this negative relationship belief from my mind. And poof, a month later, I got a girlfriend.
However, because I didn’t know what I really wanted in a girlfriend, I got into a bad relationship. Long story short, she was verbally abusive, and we broke after 3 months.
That got me thinking, ok so I remove the negative relationship belief so I can have a girlfriend but what do I really want? This started a 3-year long thought process to figure out what do I really want. I also went for speed dating events to speed things up, literally.
I figured out a few things along the way, such as I want her to accept me for me. This is big actually, for most of us I believe. For me, it was big too, because I’m a hypnotist, I use hypnosis to heal myself and now I help others. Hypnosis is a big part of my identity. And I realize a lot of girls are keen to meet a hypnotist, but not date a hypnotist.
This went on until I turned 30 and met this girl. And to cut the story short, we’ve been together for 9 months at the time of this writing, and so far it’s been an amazing beautiful relationship.
If you asked me what’s my highlight for 2018, I will tell you a different story. Cause I had a few foreign clients fly to Singapore to find me to resolve their issues. What’s amazing was that they included (and not restricted to) a politician, 2 doctors, and some government officials!