Liz González: Opening Hearts while Writing Out the Wrongs
Liz González is a writer and co-founder of Silicon Valley De-Bug, a community organizing and multi-media storytelling organization. A healer at her core, she leads weekly meditation circles, bringing together local residents hoping to build inner and community peace. She also directs actions with Serve the People San José and the Silicon Valley Renters Rights Coalition, groups dedicated to ending gentrification in the local area.
How would you describe yourself?
My name is Liz González, and I probably would never describe myself as an activist. I’m from San José, first generation, my parents are both from México, and I grew up in East San José. I’m super proud of that. I’m just a regular person who wants a better world.
How did you get involved with journalism and writing?
It was not until I met the people — and I didn’t even meet them actually — not until I got connected with folks that would become De-Bug because I don’t think I would have ever considered myself becoming a writer. I wanted to be a psychologist, don’t we all wanna fix each other? But, I worked a summer job at a high tech assembly plant on 10th street here in San José because my brother was a supervisor for that company. He got me that summer job while I was at Evergreen [Community College.]
That job wasn’t difficult, but it was so boring and very demanding. I ended up living at that job that summer and noticed who was working there. It was a lot of older women, a lot of immigrants. A lot of women would tell me, “Liz, what are you doing here? Why aren’t you in school? Go to school!” They would try night school, but when you work from 6 AM to 6 PM, there’s no way you’re gonna finish night school because they had tried and they had all dropped out.
I wouldn’t send it over, I would try to figure what the heck was wrong with that modem myself. That is where we got the name for De-Bug, because other folks on the assembly line would recognize what de-bug means– it’s the team that figures out and exposes the problem and fixes it.
It was a place [where] we weren’t encouraged to talk. If we were talking, the supervisors would come around and — I do remember it as a joke but you don’t joke like that — they would say, “Shut up or I’ll send you back to Mexico. Do you wanna go back to the Philippines?” These were ladies that could’ve been their grandmas. As a 19 year old kid, I was just like, “Shit, how can you talk like that to someone who could be your grandma?”
So, it was right at the end of that job, somebody that I knew through Californians For Justice asked if I wanted to write about what it was like to work on an assembly line because folks in San Francisco were asking for stories. I was like, “Oh hell yea!” I never used my brain in that job, I’ll write about it. I remember I used to write sad poetry when the line was slow. But I would get excited when our product — the modem — didn’t work because then you would send it over to the debug team who was supposed to figure it out. But I wouldn’t send it over. I would try to figure what the heck was wrong with that modem myself. That was where we got the name for De-Bug, because other folks on the assembly line would recognize what debug means– it’s the team that figures out and exposes the problem and fixes it.
How did you end up meeting with the people who would begin De-Bug?
So, it was through that connection, through Californians for Justice. One of the organizers at that time named Kathy Ryan – an amazing person – and Raj. Raj and her had met. I ended up typing my story and I left it in my mailbox, and somebody magically came to pick it up from my mailbox — very strange. It was Raj. I didn’t meet him until much later. I was going to meet the group of folks who had written about– we didn’t all work at the same company– we were all gonna meet up. I had only talked to Raj on the phone, so I walked into this Vietnamese cafe on 1st street, looking for a Black guy–‘cause Raj sounds like a Black guy on the phone! I didn’t find him, and then I figured out it was Raj.
Because we were from San José, we didn’t just want to write for a youth paper in San Francisco, we wanted something for San José.
So we wrote for a youth paper called Youth Outlook in San Francisco — that’s where those first stories got published. They were all folks who were 19, or in their 20s.
How did you stick with De-Bug? Was it a conscious decision?
Oh man, no. De-Bug was never supposed to be anybody’s job. We didn’t have a name for a long time, and we kept writing, maybe it was like a handful of folks, maybe six people I would say, who started. We kept writing for the San Francisco paper. Sometimes we would go up there to Pacific News Service. It was kind of a blessing to be connected to Pacific News Service because it was run by some real eclectic folks, and they really believed in youth – like anybody–-and that everybody has the ability to tell their story and their voice matters, and how do you introduce those voices to other folks and to policy makers, and really respecting the voice. So, we got to be a part of their editorial meetings where there would be really recognized writers, and homeless youth, and people who had no business being in editorial meetings. But we were all equals, and all our ideas were valuable. So, being exposed to that really lays the foundation for how we operate as De-Bug.
If I see people who are doing what they truly love, folks who have come through here and maybe not have come through here either, if folks are doing what they truly love, then that is a success to me, and to us.
Because we were from San José, we didn’t just want to write for a youth paper in San Francisco, we wanted something for San José. Some folks were still working at companies, and we wanted something for the workers–‘cause that job was really isolating, even though you’re there for more than 12 hours a day. I don’t know if it was conscious at that time, but like, when folks read those stories, they saw themselves for the first time, reflected in a printed story. People were so proud to have their name in a by-line, once we got our own magazine (it was really tiny).
At that time, it really was focused on the temporary worker and all the contradictions that we still have in Silicon Valley, of these folks making enormous wealth, folks who make the wealth of the region but don’t have any of it, and are suffering in toxic jobs, risking their lives, and are not even aware that their job is toxic. So, there was a majority focus on workers — getting folks to know their rights, because unfortunately as contract workers you didn’t really have a lot of rights. You didn’t have benefits, and you can be let go at any time. Our first tagline used to be “The voice of the young and temporary.”
Do you feel like the organization and your writing, and your work in general, has helped change San José when you first started?
You know I was thinking about this one, how has it changed, and because of how we developed and grew together in De-Bug, if I see people who are doing what they truly love, folks who have come through here and maybe not come through here either, if folks are doing what they truly love, then that is a success to me, and to us. Because it doesn’t have to be necessarily some kind of activism. There are folks who wanted to do art, or who wanted to cook, and they’re cooking in the kitchen now, or own their own business. The fact that they’re doing that, that’s what I count.
What is an accomplishment that you’re most proud of?
I don’t know! I can’t believe that we’re still around – 18 years later, and that we’re still attempting to operate much like in those first days ’cause we were never a typical organization in any sense. So to stay to those values — for the outside world it won’t make a lot of sense — but this place and the folks here, it’s really centered around relationships with each other. Because then no matter what the problem is or the issue–that’s why we don’t make sense, like how can you do this, and how can you do that? We started with this radio and tv and art and people used to think we were a tagging crew or whatever, and rappers, and activists, and very traditional activists too, and intergenerational — how do those folks come together under one roof? They usually don’t, but because we weren’t like, “Oh, you must be an activist, and you must want to go to protests, if you wanna be in this group…” It’s always been around, “Well, what is it that you’re interested in? What do you want to do? How do we grow together? How do we build together?” With the idea that, together we’re always stronger, you know? And recognizing that if you’re doing well, your success is our success. Things like that, that would count as a victory.
You can’t be angry forever. What kind of life are you gonna lead and what’s gonna sustain you? The energy of anger is not gonna sustain you and not gonna create the world that you wanna see. I’m glad to see the changes that have happened, and that we’re not ignoring the individual, because really, I do believe that it’s up to each individual to be at peace, and then we’ll see a peaceful world.
Can I ask why you don’t like calling yourself an activist?
I mean, it also has to do a lot with the early De-Bug days, I was already connected with some other groups–and maybe I should just get over this word meaning, right, but for the United States, an activist to me equates sometimes as a weekend warrior person, or somebody who just does a hobby, and maybe just for a little while. Because most of the time, folks that are most impacted by any issue don’t get to fight to improve it, or have the choice of, “Oh, right now, I don’t have to focus on that.” You have to do it all the time. So, in the global scale, in the United States, for me at least, it has a negative connotation, like eventually you’ll stop being an activist, and you’ll go lead your good life, but the conditions will still exist. I know it’s just a label, but then you’re not allowed to be your whole self — you’re a spiritual, emotional person — and sometimes in activism those things aren’t together. Now, more, you see it, but 18 years ago, it wasn’t like that. Nobody wants to be a fuckin’ martyr. There’s some aspects of the connotations that come up with activism that I don’t like, and I don’t want [that] for my life, and not my family — they don’t know what the hell an activist or an organizer is, so if they can’t grasp it, it’s not a real thing.
What are some challenges and some victories you’ve seen in creating change in San José?
I think the challenging part is when you’re in it this many years deep, and you realize, like damn, it’s like the same stuff that we’re fighting. A few years ago, or maybe it was just last year, when Anthony Nunez was shot by police on July 4th, there was some students from Eastside Union High School district that did a walkout because they wanted to protest police brutality. I was so excited by them — I couldn’t believe that they existed and that they were organizing. And I went to their walkout and marching through downtown, we were saying the same chants that I was saying at their age, and police were still killing folks that look like us. So those kind of moments when you’re like, “Oh my god, what do we do different? And how?”
When I first came into De-Bug, I knew I was a very angry person. I was pissed at everything. In these efforts, I would say, right, it’s a good place to start, because it [the anger]’s motivating you to do something, but you can’t be angry forever. What kind of life are you gonna lead and what’s gonna sustain you? The energy of anger is not gonna sustain you and not gonna create the world that you wanna see. I’m glad to see the changes that have happened, and that we’re not ignoring the individual, because really, I do believe that it’s up to each individual to be at peace, and then we’ll see a peaceful world. We’re never gonna get there if we don’t, or if we don’t have enough of us, in that state. The bigger world is just a reflection of what’s going on inside every single one of us–but we don’t know that, or we aren’t told that.
People need to break open their hearts because it is all temporary. Folks can be proud of their life if you’ve really helped make it better even for one person. If you have helped make the world a better place for one person, then you’ve lived a good life.
How do you find peace?
Well, I’m still developing my ideal spiritual practice, but I also do energy healing and guided meditation so those type of things help me. At one point, I did not believe in a God. How can this fucked up world have a god, right? But now, that brings me a lot of peace, to know that this is not just complete chaos, you know? Some of those things come from being a part of De-Bug, and understanding that we each ultimately can direct our own destiny, and really believing that and going for it. ’Cause most of us are too fuckin’ scared to do something that seems crazy. It’s the only way to live your life, otherwise you’re living somebody else’s life.
Do you consider yourself a healer?
Yes but we ALL are. That’s the thing, you know — we just operate under this Western idea that we must go to somebody else to fix you instead of knowing that there’s nobody else that can tell you besides yourself, when you really investigate yourself, or when you learn who you are — you’re always gonna know the answer, you always know the answer. We’re just never looking there; we want somebody else to fix it, somebody else to help us.
What do you think are some points of healing for the Silicon Valley?
My biggest thing, actually, that goes into the healing thing, is we really do need to operate from the heart. Here, you can clearly see that folks are not operating from the heart at all because they don’t care about other people. That’s the model of Silicon Valley: “too bad for you– we did it.” Not everybody’s gonna be on top all the time, you know, and then what? People need to break open their hearts because it is all temporary. Folks can be proud of their life if you’ve really helped make it better even for one person. If you have helped make the world a better place for one person, then you’ve lived a good life.
How do you think being a woman has impacted your healing and your own work?
That’s why we’re even more wounded; not to be like, “Oh, I’m more wounded,” but to be born a woman in this time, even though we have this illusion of being free here in the United States of America, all the psychological warfare of not being a white person in the United States, you have to work through so much mud that shouldn’t be there in the first place, but it’s a real weight for us to be able to say “No” to all these things, and figure out how not to fall into those things again and again and again. Those messages that say, “It’s a rebellious/revolutionary act to love yourself”– I really do believe that.
We all have a gift, that’s the thing that is needed of you right now. Everything else supposedly comes after that.
Say for instance, for me, I didn’t feel beautiful or recognize myself as beautiful until I went to spend some extended time in a country where people looked like me. The story there is that I met a white person who is from here too, and those folks down there used to say, “Oh, she’s so pretty, look at her skin” and that was the only reason they would call her pretty, because of her skin color. But for me, being in a place where everyone was brown — even though they didn’t really look like me, it was Guatemala — I felt, “Oh, maybe I’m beautiful too.” So, we have to wade through much more, but then you’re also aware of what other people maybe are dealing with, maybe you have some more consideration, some more empathy.
How do people recognize that it’s not a competition, when that’s all we’re taught to think–that we’re in competition with everyone else for everything? So, consciously I will choose spaces that have women and women’s groups, and my vision includes to have a real women’s center in San José, run and led by women of color — to really do whatever we want in San José.
What advice would you give to future healers and womxn doing your type of work?
My truest wisdom is let joy lead you. It might not look like activism, but whatever it is that makes you happy and you get excited about bringing to the world — what’s your gift? We all have a gift, that’s the thing that is needed of you right now. Everything else supposedly comes after that.
What gives you hope?
Oh, still the youth! It’s so hard — I imagine everybody being sad at the generations after them like, damn, you guys got it so fucked up, it’s so terrible, cause that’s what I think, hearing from youth today and because of social media, how hard it must be, but then they do shit like walk out all across the country– so that gives me hope, that some people are thinking about other things, and that it’s not always gonna be this way.
