Fault vs. Responsibility — How To Be Infinitely Happier

I would often blame others for problems that occur in my daily life. Later on however, I realized that it wasn’t my teacher that didn’t know how to mark or my ex that always started arguments, but rather three others that were the cause of unhappiness in my life — me, myself and I.

This little post is based off of my takeaways from the book “The Subtle Art Of Not Giving A F*ck” by Mark Manson. I just finished reading it and would highly recommend that you check it out if you have the time. This post is not sponsored by the book but I thought it definitely deserves a shameless plug. Alright, moving on.

Fault is a result of choices that have already been made. Something that is not our fault is out of our control. We often blame others for the cause of our unhappiness because it is their fault. We naturally associate the negative emotions we feel with the actions of other people. You’re currently working your butt off to get a promotion at your job because you’re struggling to pay the bills. Promotion time comes around and your boss chooses Jimmy to get promoted instead of you. Yes, the same Jimmy who shows up 30 minutes late to only browse on Reddit and play Minesweeper. Now, who is at fault for not seeing your hard work? You may have guessed it — your boss.

However, responsibility is the action you take based on the choices that have already been made. Anything you are responsible for is fully in your control. You are responsible for every proceeding action from the present moment. Even if something is not your fault, you are fully responsible for the actions you take on after. Like I said previously, we often blame others for the cause of our unhappiness because it is their fault. What we fail to realize is that we are responsible for blaming these people instead of taking our own course of action to fix the problems at hand.

Let’s go back to the Jimmy situation. Yes, it is not your fault a promotion was wrongfully given to Jimmy but it is your responsibility to take the appropriate course of action. You can choose to get mad at your boss and mutter some curse words to yourself, but what’s going to come out of that? Absolutely nothing. You can also choose to talk to your boss about the work you have been putting in and I can guarantee something far greater will occur as a result. We need to realize that just because something isn’t our fault it isn’t the end of the world — our responsibilities and choices are what empower us to achieve happiness regardless of the situation.

The most toxic habit you can have is to play the blame game with every situation in your life because you will not grow from it. You will feel powerless and unhappy because you will believe that the emotions you feel are a given — not a choice.

This simple principle is what I have been applying every single day. Knowing the difference between fault and responsibility is what allows us to gain control of our lives. It makes us open our minds and realize how much power have within us. Utilizing this tool allows us to make greater choices and to be much happier.

“It is easier to change yourself than to change someone else.” — Unknown