14. Make America Dope Again (Volume 3)

Ryan Louis
Jul 22, 2017 · 3 min read

EDITORS NOTE: ‘Make America Dope Again’ will hopefully be another recurring blog series thingy here. In this series you’ll be traveling with me to an alternate reality. One where I am POTUS. In each volume I’ll reveal a law in my step by step plan to make America dope again. President Louis in the house.


MAKING AMERICA DOPE AGAIN: Step #1


*That Song Is Overplayed Act Of 2017*

You can’t move forward if you’re living in the past. That’s factual like 2+2. You laugh but these are dire times, yo. Our country is fighting a war as we speak. A war on forced nostalgia. It’s as rampant as we’ve ever seen it. This constant need to convince ourselves that the only way be happy is to go back in time instead of moving forward is stagnating our nation. Something must be done. Now, I will say this. We’re in luck. I understand that maybe some of those other dweebs I ran against may be more qualified to do handle some shit than me — I’ll concede that. For instance, homeboy with the toupee was a Harvard Law grad, that old ass chick that smelt like butterscotch has been a senator for longer than my existence, and then there’s Ralph Nader — no need to elaborate there. What I’m saying is that those crusty ass weirdos are probably more qualified to handle the traditional(boring) issues. But these aren’t traditional times we’re facing. Which is why we’re in luck. I don’t have crazy degrees, political experience or a toupee. What I do have are very particular set of skills; skills I have acquired over a very short career. Skills that make me a nightmare for a crisis as dire as forced nostalgia. I am humbled and beyond honored to lead that charge. Have no fear, you’re dopeness is here. So without further adieu . . .


  • I, Ryan Louis, President of the United States of America, propose the “That Song is Overplayed Act of 2016”.

Public Law 09–180 111th Congress 11/8/2016 8:39Am

  • An Act

To proactively fight the current war on forced nostalgia

Be it enacted by the Senate and House of Representatives of the United States of America in Congress assembled,

  • TITLE I — The THAT SONG IS OVERPLAYED ACT OF 2016

Sec 101: Effective immediately, every month one song will be banished forever. This act proclaims that every month going forward, the government will hold a public vote to decide which song that will be. After the votes have been submitted, the song that has been tallied with the largest number of votes will be deleted IMMEDIATELY. The decision is absolute and final. Every nook and cranny of the internet will be searched to make sure of the complete deletion of the chosen song. 6 days after the decision, any citizen that possesses any form of said song (hard copies, Mp3, etc…) will be subject to arrest. Offenders charged with possession of a banned level 4 mp3 file or hard copy will face 180 days of “Musical Purgatory” (You will be forced to listen to that song non stop) and a $15 fine.


There it is. My first law. This feeling is better than . . . ehh that’s NSFW.

Oh ya the first vote is right now. It’s open to the public, but like not really. Just cuz it’s my first law — my vote is the only one that counts. That part isn’t technically in the actual law book per say but hey, I’m the god damn POTUS. So I’ll leave you with my choice:

That shit gotta go, I’m sorry. If I see one more white girl pucker up the courage during “IF YOU DON’T KNOWWW NOW YOU KNOWW…” and arriving at a justification that racial slurs aren’t fucked cuz I’m cute as fuck and “NIGGAAAAAAAAAA”. Yup I’m done. No more. PEACE OUT JUICY. You will not be missed.


“Runnin from the police, picture that. Nigga I’m too fat. Fuck around and catch an asthma attack” — Big

A Blog Pertaining To Nothing In Particular . . .

Ryan Louis

Written by

Van Gogh’s Ear
Welcome to a place where words matter. On Medium, smart voices and original ideas take center stage - with no ads in sight. Watch
Follow all the topics you care about, and we’ll deliver the best stories for you to your homepage and inbox. Explore
Get unlimited access to the best stories on Medium — and support writers while you’re at it. Just $5/month. Upgrade