4. 140 to Fame (ft. Barack Obama)
EDITORS NOTE: ‘’140 to Fame’’ will be a running blog series thingy on this here site. Randomly I receive exceptionally interesting tweets. Like via famous people — not muggles. When said famous person sends me one of those tweets & essentially becomes BFF’s with me, I naturally feel the need to brag about it/talk about the sender. That’s what this will be. A pretentious platform where I can brag about tweets that are 100% real from A-listers who 100% know me. I promise, kinda.
A couple days ago Michelle Obama’s husband showed up in my mentions on Twitter. Ya know, just a little internet banter between two best buds, no biggie.
Dope. Our President is so damn dope. Please, please, please just push all of your politics aside for one second and truly appreciate this unprecedented exhibition of dope.
Some article on The Atlantic — or was it The Quincy Sun? Either way — I was perusing the internet the other day and came across an interesting stat — NAY — an incomprehensible stat. Now, I’ll have to paraphrase it a bit but I think I can capture the essence of it. And the essence of it is this:
Barack Obama is historically dope.
Shall I elaborate? Ok. Essentially it stated that Barry O’s current run, dating back to 2006, has officially registered the highest level of dope since Queen Cleopatra’s 41 BC to 31 BC run. That shit cray’, huh? Homeboy is pretty damn dope, like holy shit!! Ya, I don’t think you’re fully comprehending what I’m saying to you right now judging by your jaw not being on the floor. Simply put; BO’s unprecedented level of dope can only be compared to Genghis Khan’s ability to impregnate women. Holy what?! Are you finally comprehending the enormity of this. Obama’s level of dope can only be compared to a man whose impregnating game was so immaculate that apparently 1 in 200 men today are direct decedents of him.
Anyways, to be honest, I think that low key somewhere in my subconscious I might have maybe knew this Obama stuff already. But because it was such an outlandish and incomprehensible thought, I buried it deep down. Until now. I gotta say it’s a tad bit refreshing to learn that it is 1000% accurate. I’d cite the source of the article but for some weird reason I can’t seem to locate it. You’ll just have to take my word for it ….
As for the giant elephant in the room, sorry but I’m not at liberty to discuss how I managed to get my work on BO’s MacBook Pro. For a few reasons, but mainly just one. I’ve gotten really used to having freedom and shit like that. Like, I saw Zero Dark 30 — being water boarded seems like such a shitty thing to be on the wrong side of. So whatever my method was, the end result reigns supreme here. Obama read my shit! Not only did Your Dopeness read VGE, he motherfuckin co-signed it! I guess dope recognizes dope, huh? Don’t you dare worry though. I know Obama and I’s friendship is pushing towards BFF territory but I will not forget about you! The POTUS & I are tight, that’s true. You & I are tight, that’s also true. Ipso facto, ya’ll are tight. That’s how it works. I’ll text him later to inform him of his new friends. I got you.
“ . . . . . .” - Eleven (Stranger Things)-