Tales from Vancouver: Supermodels, Hipsters & Sushi
Ive been in Vancouver for six months now, so am long overdue for an update. Whenever Im in a new place, I pride myself on my observational skills and social commentary, regardless of the minimal sample size of data I may have to work with. (i.e. I enjoy making unsubstantiated sweeping statements about foreign cultures).
So whats its like to live in Vancouver? Well, its a bit like dating a supermodel. Youre happy about the beauty, concerned about the expense and youre perhaps oddly getting less sex than normal. On the bright side, theres seems to be lush greenery everywhere, snowcapped mountains over the horizon and the air-quality is excellent. If Perrier ever were to bottle air, they would probably source it from Vancouver.
Im relieved to be honest. This is much better than my first impression of Vancouver a few years ago, when a self-guided city tour took me to East Hastings and a woman verbally accosted me after I stopped to ask her for directions. To be fair, her offer to have sex with me was flattering but I suspected that there may have been the expectation of money in exchange. Either that or she had poor dating skills. Who knows, it may even be an East Hastings cultural thing to invite complete strangers on the street to have sexual intercourse with you.
On very different note, Vancouver is expensive. Perhaps not as insanely expensive as Oslo but expensive enough to make you feel poor. So, I guess its similar to Paris except that wine and cheese are considerably more expensive. And the city doesn’t smell like urine (which is almost a fair trade-off). On the bright side, sushi here is excellent value for money. In fact, Ive probably eaten more sushi in the last 6 months, than in my entire life combined. It may even be real Japanese people making it.
Vancouver also has a lot of hipsters. Its not as bad as it sounds. It actually gives me hope that no matter how badly you dress, one day it may come into fashion.
Admittedly, I did have a bit of social anxiety when I arrived in Vancouver and first discovered there was a pandemic of hipsterdom. This mainly led to unanswered questions. (Like why do so many hipsters wear glasses? Is there a myopia outbreak? Is LASIK banned in Vancouver?) But Im now trying to blend in by shopping at Urban Outfitters, drinking IPAs and eating lots of soy. Its not as easy as in Berlin, where to pass-off as a hipster all you need is to dress like a homeless person, hang out in cafes and tell everyone you are working on a project (but not actually have to do anything). Over here, you have to do interesting things. Or at least pretend to be vegan.
Even normal Vancourites are a curious people. They seem to be overachievers and are always busy, both in their professional and extra-curricular lives. Mind you, its impressive that they make the most out of life. But I also feel like if I want to date in Vancouver, I will need to schedule appointments in my Outlook calendar weeks in advance. Also theres this peculiar habit where people are super friendly but seem to have trust issues with strangers. Or is that normal? (I’ve spent so much time immersing myself in different cultures and sub-cultures that I forget what’s normal anymore. Eg. apparently its odd to dress up as Santa outside of December.)
Nevertheless, my hypothesis is this: Talking to strangers in Vancouver is allowed as long as you dont appear particularly interested in talking to them and interactions are kept to under a minute. After the one minute time limit has lapsed, you need to abort. Perhaps all this has more to do with people being overcommitted than a general lack of trust. After all, if you have spontaneous conversations with strangers all day, time management become more difficult.
Originally published at web-beta.archive.org.
