A List of Things I Don’t Love
Inspired by Kris Gage. Prompted by boredom. Here’s an oddly specific set of items that really grind my gears.
My ex used to call me “Mister Peanut Butter” (from BoJack Horseman) due to my relentlessly sunny and enthusiastic disposition. It’s true. I tend to skew toward the positively charged node.
But that’s not to say I love everything, or that the best thing ever is whatever I just experienced, or that I’m always one big bright ray of sunshine. No; sometimes I’m the goddamned rain-cloud storming all over your picnic.
It is in this spirit — and after reading Ms. Gage’s deliciously acerbic “Several Things I Strongly Dislike,” which I had a lot of commentary on — I’d like to bring that cauldron to a boil. I’d like to let you into my inner world. I’d like to bring you to the seventh circle of hell: The people, places, things, feelings and ideas that I absolutely loathe. So let’s queue up some Nickelback, light up a cigarette, roll up the windows, and head down the road to a Dakota together.
Group A: Locations, Locations, Locations
- Inland Empire, Southern California: What a cruel joke y’all played thinking you could just create a carbon copy of Orange County, move it inland, jack up the…
