Some might think this is a strange existence —
Living in different places and moving around, it seems.
I never planned on going back to any of the old places.
I’m not made to stay in one location —
Sure, I thought we’d be fully settled by now.
But this wasn’t by design.
From the outset we tried;
But it seemed like no one would let us make our way —
Our way, the way we wanted.
Believe me, we tried, in all the old places.
But peace and freedom were always tethered to conforming,
Bending and melding to their ways of life.
And now, I live in a world away from all the other ones.
Not fully a part of the first one,
Nor any of the others,
Although I can feel the pull from those places
Gradually and certainly losing its grip —
An outsider to those people, perhaps a renegade of sorts.
But there’s something liberating in this.
Like Elton John’s Rocket Man,
I used to get conflicted;
When I was away, I yearned for “home;”
And when I was there, I yearned for the distance —
Not from family, not from friends —
But from the old history that always repeats itself;
From the things and people that never change.
Distance from those places —
From all gone by.
I need the separation from all of the old things.
You get there, and very quickly you remember why you left.
It’s telling how the distance
Makes all that seem so small,
The things that once controlled us —
Can’t get to us at all.
Glen Hines is the author of five books, including the recently published Of Time and Rivers, and the highly-regarded Bring in the Gladiators, Observations From a Former College Football Player Who Was Never Able to Become a Fan, all available at Amazon.com and Barnes and Noble. He is the writer and producer of the book and podcast Welcome to the Machine, available on most podcast platforms. His writing has also been featured in Sports Illustrated, Task & Purpose, and the Human Development Project.