What Does Femininity Even Mean, Anyway?
The “Girls” photo series by Whitney Hayward explores the Lolita subculture
“I felt beautiful. I was so sad, and I found this thing that made me feel absolutely beautiful.” -Czessi Wojtkowski
Photographer Whitney Hayward was browsing her closet when she noticed her inner monologue changing. Whenever she reached for something more “conventionally feminine” she started wondering if she could be taken seriously in it.
Women, especially women in male-dominated fields, have long faced this dilemma. There is pressure to be “one of the boys” and to hide anything too gendered.
“Could I be seen as a person who gets shit done in a (situationally appropriate) skirt?” she said.
It was transformative for her, then, when she started her project Girls and found a group of women for whom those thoughts never occurred.
“The absolute coolest thing was realizing most of them didn’t give a shit whether someone took them less seriously because of the way they dressed,” she said.
Girls focuses, in part, on the Lolita subculture, which reportedly started in Japan in the ‘70s and revolves around cartoonish exaggerations of Victorian-era clothing. Lolita fashion emphasizes craftmanship and girlishness, and like any good subculture, has forked into several different styles: Gothic, Classic, Sweet, etc.Haywar was first exposed to it while studying abroad in Japan.
“My host sister was massively interested in it, and hearing her perspective put it on my radar. At the time, I never thought about pursuing it photographically,” Hayward said.
When she started Girls, those impressions came to mind and Hayward sought out subjects here in the states. She found them in a variety of ways: Tumblr, Instagram, mutual Facebook friends and people who caught her eye on the street.
Hayward said her first meeting with them was relaxed and welcoming. The whole process of transitioning from their “outside” clothing to Lolita took roughly two to three hours. Some girls dress up on a regular basis, while others reserve it for special occasions or meet ups. It’s an expensive and time consuming lifestyle, and some of the girls told Hayward that they were interested in taking up sewing to cut costs.
The project is ongoing and Hayward hopes to continue photographing Lolita fashion now that she’s near cities like New York with larger followings than she encountered in Missouri.
“I just think that’s such an incredible thing, to find beauty and security in yourself, whether that comes in the form of a petticoat, or in a pair of black jeans.”
All photos by Whitney Hayward. Hayward is currently a photo staffer at the Portland Press Herald in Maine. If you’re into Lolita and you live on the east coast, send her an e-mail. You can see more of her work here: http://whithayward.com
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