Redefining Motherhood: Only I Have
by Jem Guanzon, as told to Bonnie Chiu
In the Philippines and I guess all over the world, mothers are the ones bringing up their families. Today is the Mother’s Day in the UK, and it is much more celebrated than Father’s Day. And it is on this day, that I also want to reflect on the notion of motherhood. I never really celebrated Mother’s Day, because I was single-handedly raised by my father.
This photo is the first and only photo I have taken of my mother, Irene Mora, when I went on holidays back to my home, the Philippines in 2014. She is 70 years old now. We were never close to each other as I was raised by my father, and they divorced very early on. My father passed away in 1998, and all along, I had this angry side of me thinking that she made my father suffer and die young.
But taking this photo of her made me change my mind. Without her, I would not be in this world.
After my father died, I went to live with my brothers and sisters but I did not go to my mother. Soon I moved to Hong Kong to work as a domestic helper, and two years ago, I moved to Moscow.
As a domestic helper, I think a lot about what motherhood means.
In the families I work for, I assume the responsibilities of a mother — nursing, cleaning, cooking. But in reality, I don’t think I would become a mother in the same sense given my sexuality. This photo made me realise all these thoughts I have of motherhood.
Jem’s Journey In Photography
I love taking pictures of birds because they remind me of myself — I embrace freedom and want to chart my own path in life. And of course I saw a lot of birds growing up, as my home town is a village of Cagayan Valley, northeast of the Philippines.
In a poor family, we could not afford buying cameras, but I always had a fondness for photography — I didn’t really know why — and I would borrow cameras from friends who are more well-off. I then completed a degree in health sciences at the Medical Colleges of Northern Philippines, and even though I wanted to further my studies in nursing, financial constraints meant that I had to give that up.
I was working hard as a domestic helper in Hong Kong, trying to save up to buy my first camera. But it was only in 2011, when I was 27 years old already, and my boss asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I said camera, but I did not take it as a gift so I paid her back in installment. Finally owning a camera was transformational for me.
I have never been drawn to portraits but this photo of my mother changed what I think about portrait photography.
If you like this photo and want to support Jem’s mission, please share her work in the Lens Culture Portrait Awards she submitted here.
Jem Guanzon is now working in Moscow, and today she is organising the International Women’s Day celebration event by Filipino Association in Russia. Check out her personal page here.
