Why You Should Store Gold Under Your Mattress, Not In A Swiss Vault
Storing Gold in fully insured Swiss Vaults is a dumb idea. Here’s why!
Disclaimer. The opinions listed here are my own, not of my current employer, Vaultoro Limited.
1 — Size & Weight
A single bar weighs over 12kg and, according to the London Bullion Market Association, measures 5 inches in thickness, 10 by 3.2 inches along the top and 3 by 2.2 inches along the base.
The cost for a single bar is over £600,000. That makes it a pretty dense investment. Because of the compact nature of a bar, you’ll find it super easy to slide under your mattress, with no noticeable ‘lumps or bumps’.
2 — Criminal Activity
Gold might be fully insured against theft and natural disaster while stored in Swiss vaults. It might be held in high-security vaults, protected by armed guards.
However, vaults that store Gold have long been the target of organised criminals. It’s unlikely however that your mattress has ever been the target of any sort of criminal activity, aside from watching too many episodes of Desperate Housewives on a rainy Sunday.
3 — Hiding In Plain Sight
In the unlikely event you get burgled this year, it’s more likely the thieves will target your vintage Rolex collection, stashed in your bottom draw. Wink wink. And in the unlikely event they *do* have a look under your mattress, they’ll probably assume it’s a fake.
Moreover, I would imagine they wouldn’t look under your mattress in the first place, because who would hide a Gold bar or two under there.
And finally, because of it’s weight, most criminals would be unable to carry them in a loot bag.
4 — Gold Isn’t Saleable
I recently watched the Netflix show about the 1980’s Brinks “heist” and learned many things. Most of which were probably true since it’s on the television.
One of these facts is that you’d have to melt the Gold and then mix it into some jewellery. Way too much effort here folks, no thief is going to do that.
5 — Gold is a Beacon to Alien Lifeforms
Since we don’t know where all the Gold came from, we’re unsure what’s it’s doing here. One such credible idea is that it’s actually transmitting radio signals to alien lifeforms.
And if you store it all in vaults, the radio signals can’t get out.
6 — Easy Currency
Just 1 gram of Gold is worth approx £50 now and Gold bars are now accepted in most supermarkets around the world. Since we’re experiencing the inflationary effect of some Russian dude right now, it’s the perfect way to buy your weekly shop!
Since Gold melts nicely, you could melt it down into £10 chunks and take a few out with you.
I feel like I’ve mocked the subject I was asked to write about Gold today. It’s obvious here that purchasing some Gold and storing it in a Swiss Vault is actually a good idea.
