Actions Against Hate

I have struggled to figure out how to react to the hate crime against the Asian women killed in Atlanta recently. Last year, I protested against the injustices to African Americans and carried BLM signs. I called the few African American former colleagues and friends I know and spoke words of support and comfort. “I am always there to help, don’t hesitate”, I said.

This time around, on some level, it feels superficial to pile on to all the hashtags calling out hate against Asians and Asian women in particular. There was a deja vu given the most recent uprisings of last summer. I was wondering if I am becoming too insensitive.

After all, my day job as a VC is one of the most privileged in the business ecosystem. Yet, just recently, I was shocked to be the subject of both racist and sexist comments from an entrepreneur. I couldn’t help but wonder, “if this can happen to me, what difference can I make for others?”.

Being a bystander is dangerous as history has taught us. Yet, I was wondering what can I do today, tomorrow, or the day after? Not one year from now, not 5 years from now. It is in that line of thinking that I came up with a few thoughts and ideas that I want to share here.

1. Make it a habit to say people’s real names properly: if you have been reading the news, you’ve heard this one. Especially in tech, we have the opportunity to meet people from so many different backgrounds. Even if you don’t meet certain demographics that often, it helps to build the habit of learning to say the name of anyone you come across appropriately. It is a muscle we can train.
2. In hiring, give people credit for the distance they traveled: Hiring based on accomplishments and skills is supposed to be objective. I’d argue that it is missing a big piece that I call human potential. A former African American colleague of mine, grew up in Oakland, was hounded by gangs, and became a Data Science leader later in life. The distance he traveled to get there pales in comparison to what most other Data Scientists with similar resumes have had to do. Now, that, in my view, is a better indicator of how much farther he can go in life compared to others.
3. Dare to break out of your network: It is comforting to stay within our own mostly homogeneous networks. But living in a country whose demographic is shifting steadily, we make everyone’s lives harder if we don’t actually put in the work to build and nurture a diverse professional and personal network. Last month, I walked up to a group of Hebrew-speaking runners in my neighborhood and asked whether I can join them on their group runs. I had been seeing them for several months but not speaking their language had held me back. Now, I am not only running more regularly but also learning a few words in Hebrew!
4. Have real conversations: All too often, we keep social conversations about feel-good things, the weather, sports, traffic, the kids. It takes patience and openness to dig deeper without fearing being intrusive. That is how my Mexican nanny started opening up. She became curious about how so many Indians in the valley are so wealthy compared to Mexicans. We discussed how to get into Tech. I offered to help her 19-year-old son and quickly learned about his own pessimistic outlook on life given the limited exposure he had had. It is a reminder to me that I need to move beyond small talk and really understand people’s aspirations, fears, insecurity, and more.

Personally, I feel more hopeful knowing that I can make a difference every day in a small way and that one day it will all add up. If you have any others, I’d love to know.