I won’t write for Money.

The day I decided to write for money and for others, I wondered what it is that I was going to write about. What exactly did I have to say that was worthy for others to hear or read?

This is a questionI have been asking myself for a while, and this is the question that has been holding me back from writing for a long, long time.

Untill this morning where I realized that most important person I write for, is myself. I want to hear my own thoughts and examine them. In a world that never stops, writing gives me the time to sit down and talk to myself.

So, I decided that I won’t write for money. I know it is an emerging trend in entrepreneurship and freelance work where many writers have taken on the job of content writing and ghost writing as a main or even secondary income.

But everytime I think about doing it, I block. I lose inspiration and I become aimless in attempting to emulate all these bloggers who seem so mehtodical at generating content. I am not a writer. I am merely a person who uses words to express and explore herself. I am my primary audience. I write my own monologues and sometimes, if I am lucky enough, I find a kindred soul in close proximity having the same monologue. And that’s when the dialogue starts.

But I write for myself. I write with my own voice. I admire writers who are able to adopt multiples voices to write for other people, and I respect them for being able to give others the words they need to express themselves with. But I do not have that abulity. I am unable to provide value to those who read my thoughts except maybe, and hopefully, the words to express similiar thoughts and ideas they connect with, or the words they need to help them calibrate and recenter themselves in face of certain struggles in life.

Writing is my the best way for my my mind to expand, stretch and breath. I have been writing for the five years, on a semi-private forum, with over 5000 entries of my own thoughts, opinions, and inner conversations. I go back there sometimes to revist my older self and re-examine the journey I went through to become who I am today. I do not want to put a price tag on what makes me come alive, or what could leave my legacy behind. Writing allows me to exist in a tangible way that makes it easier for me to hold up a mirror and examine myself. To sit across myself and bring candor and honesty to my inner dialogue. Words give my conscious and unconscious a bridge and a way to communicate. Words give my mind a voice and a power to self-reflect.

I exist because I write.

I write, therefore I am.

And “I” am priceless.