How to be a Freelance Writer Part Five: Self-Care

This is Part Five of a five-part guide on freelance writing. Check out the Introduction and find links to other parts here.

Isolation

Writing is something you do in isolation. If you’ve ever read anything written by a committee, you know why. Stereotypically, writers are introverted people, so the isolation is no problem, right? Umm. Well, firstly, it’s entirely possible to be an extraverted writer (here’s a blog post about the challenges of being such a person). Secondly, even if you’re a misanthrope, complete isolation does wear most writers down at some point, to varying extents.

How to deal?

Change your work location. If your sense of isolation is making you forget that the world is a very populated place and you need the rhythms of speech and the view of human faces without it interrupting your writing flow, write in a café. Make small talk with your local barista before getting back to work.

Connect with non-writing friends and groups. A lot of writers are actually comfortable with being alone through their workday, but need to speak with other humans to maintain their sense of equilibrium. If this is you, you need to plan your schedule around meeting up with others during your downtime. And it is important to plan these things because spontaneous interactions are harder when you aren’t with your friends at work all day long, and it puts in a self-care boundary (“I’ve got to stop work at 5pm because I’m meeting up with my friend”).

Connect with other writers. Sometimes our sense of isolation comes from not really being sure what to do as a freelancer, having to make decisions on your own, or not being able to relate to others about the frustrations of writing and freelancing. You can join a local writers group or find some online groups to connect with others.

Work next to people. Isolation can make some people feel a bit unfocused and unmotivated. They may like to have someone around they can bounce ideas off or simply keep them accountable. Many people value being in a communal workspace because seeing others work and knowing you they can talk to them helps them work. If this is you, meet up with a friend and work on the same table. Some local groups organise ‘write ins’ where a big group of you come to a space at the same time just to write. A less affordable but good option is to join a share workspace.

Burnout

A lot of people who are self-employed tend towards self-exploitation. Since how much you work has a direct bearing on your pay, it is tempting just to keep working in times where a salaried employee would have no incentive to do so. It’s an understandable tendency, but it can be a massive cause of burnout. Creativity requires you to rest. If you’re working long hours, chances are that it’s with increasing inefficiency and decreasing quality — a task that ordinarily takes an hour might end up taking five because you’re tired and can’t think straight. And because you’re tired and can’t think straight you make more errors, you feel constricted and stressed out.

Everyone is different when it comes to how much work they can do and how much pressure they can take. Everyone needs some degree of rest time. You need to figure out what your (daily, weekly) relaxation needs are and make sure you meet them. Have some fun, relaxing activities you like up your sleeve. Remember also that sometimes self-care can itself come to feel like ‘work’, just another thing you aren’t really into to tick off on your to do list. Try to acknowledge when this is happening to you and find something else to do that’s genuinely relaxing and not at all productive.

Your needs are going to be different depending on whether you freelance full- or part-time, whether you write emotionally difficult pieces, how much rejection you face, how much you rely on your freelance income for living expenses, and in accordance with your personal needs and priorities (health, family, etc.). Given that there are so many situations, I’m not going to add to what’s already out there in terms of burnout advice except to alert you to the fact that burnout is real, and you need a strategy for dealing with it.

Sometimes you will need a break from writing (or if not from writing, definitely from freelancing). Even a few days away from the desk can make you feel anew. It is ultimately worth it, even if it is difficult to prioritise.

The public

You will likely get some comments about your work. Most will be insipid, probably. You may even be in receipt of harassment and straight out abuse. Interactions with the public can be delightful or useful or scary and you get to decide with how you want to deal with this aspect of the job.

On the constructive side, some feedback can actually be really heartening. I write about mental health and one of the things that keeps me returning to this difficult subject is feedback like ‘your article made me realise I wasn’t alone’. Writing really does make a difference to people’s lives and I think it’s nice to be open to this kind of feedback and to respond to it.

Sometimes commenters also point out mistakes or elaborate on an aspect of the topic you were writing about from a different perspective. They may disagree with you but offer a reasoned critique that shows that they’ve engaged with your piece. Whether or not you like them, I believe these comments have an important place. They can help you improve in the future, or can be a sign that through your piece you’ve started a conversation. It’s up to you how much you’d like to respond to these. My personal rule of thumb is that if someone has put in the effort to engage with your piece and the topic, and has not personally attacked you, and you have the time and energy, responding can be a good thing to do. But don’t feel like you have to either. Just because someone has made the effort to comment, doesn’t mean they’re entitled to your time. You don’t get paid extra for engaging with the public (unless you write for a publication that requires you to respond to comments), so doing so is free labour. Is this something you want to expend your effort on? It’s fine if the answer changes over time.

If someone starts personally attacking you (name calling and worse), I would generally just block them. I’m of the proponent of not feeding the trolls (here are some reasons why this is a good strategy). This is just my view though, plenty of writers do engage with abusive commenters and will have their own reasons for doing so.

If you receive comments that are actively threatening, or that invade your privacy, you may have legal recourse. Report anything of this nature to the platform you’re using. If appropriate, consider reporting it to the police as well.

Regardless of how the public is interacting with you and your work, don’t let them discourage you. Brene Brown says that you should list everyone whose opinions you care about on a one inch by one inch square piece of paper. If someone says you/your work sucks, check to see if you’ve listed them on the square. “Random internet user” not on there? Good, ignore them.